full hearing thereof. He sets not any about a work of which he means not to take cognizance how it was done ; and were it not better that the audit should be in thy more private court, than thou to give up thy account at his dreadful tribunal? Resolve, therefore, to commune with thy heart upon this point; and the sooner thou goest about it the better it is likely to be done, because then the circumstances of the action will be fresh in thy memory. Go not then out of thy closet till thou hast examined thy heart : if thy thoughts in prayer shall be found to have been in any measure entire, thy aifections warm and lively, matter of joy will arise to thee, and thanksgiving to God that thou hast escaped the hands of so many freebooters that lay in wait for thee. But take heed thou applaud not thyself for thine own care and circumspection ; alas! thou wertnot thine own keeper : he that lent his ear to thy prayer, gave thee thy heart to pray, and also kept it in duty. Say rather, with David, ' What am I, that I should be able to offer so willingly?' If thy heart has played the tniant, take shame, that thou be not put to shame before the Lord. Oh, blush to think thou shouldst be so unfaithful to God and thine own soul; yea, so foolish as to run up and down on every idle eiTand which Satan sends thee, and neglect thy own work, of so gi-eat an importance. The spouse's complaint may fit thy mouth, — ' They made me the keeper of the vineyards, but my own I have not kept.' He is unwise who, being sent to mai'ket to provide food, is drawn by every idle companion to spend both time and money in vain, and comes home without bread for the hungry family. O Christian, was not thy errand to the throne of grace, to get new supplies from heaven for thy poor soul ? And doth it not grieve thee to think that now thy soul must pinch for thy playing away thy praying time and talent ; yea, that thou hast been injurious to God by taking his name in vain? Th}' hand and voice were lifted up to heaven, as if thou meant to pray ; but, like him who said he would go into the vineyard, and did not, thou hast turned a contrary way, and set thy thoughts to work in another field ; will not this afflict thy heart? And this affliction of thy spirit will be a sovereign means to excite thy care for the future. The faults which are unobserved are also uncorrected in the scholar's exercise, and so not likely to be mended in the next. Wandering thoughts in prayer are like vagrants, the best way to rid the country of the one, and the heart of the other, is to give both the law, — the lash, I mean.
CHAPTER XVII.
SOME CONSOLATORY CONSIDERATIONS FOR THE CHRISTIAN DEJECTED OVERMUCH FOR WANDERING THOUGHTS IN PRAYER.
The affliction of thy spirit for them speaks more comfort to thee than their pre- sence discomfort to thee. That thou art annoyed with such troublesome guests is no more than the best of saints have found. Wherefore did David pray that God would unite his heart to fear his name, but that he found it gadding? What means Paul by his complaint, ' When I would do good, evil is present with me,' but that he had not yet got the full mastery of his unruly thoughts? Thou seest it is no new disease thou art troubled with, but such as is common not only to the sons of men, but the children of God ; but their being afflicted by them speaks one of these two things, and both of them have comfort in their mouth for thee : it proves either that they ai-e Satan's injections, and not the birth of thine own heart ; or, if they proceed from thine own heart, yet the Spirit of God is the indweller, and these are but intruders. First, The moan thou makest for being yoked to such company is a sign they are rather sent in by Satan than called in by thee ; his injections, rather than the suggestions of thine own heart. Our own thoughts commonly are more pleasurable to us. The mother does not more love the fruit of her own body than we the produce of our minds. Hence our own ways, words, and thoughts, are called our pleasure, Isa. Iviii. 13. And therefore, possibly, they maybe shot from Satan's bow, thy heart being so aftrightcd at them and wounded for them. Or, if they pn)ve the offspring of thine own mind, yet thy afllictcd soul shews that the Spirit and grace of God is the indweller, and these but intruders and involuntary motions, such as in (hy deliberate thoughts thou abhorrest. Were they of thy
g52 PRAYING ALWAYS, ETC.