O when a man shall see his misery and danger, and no way to escape but Christ, and that he hath no ability himself to come to Christ, to open his heart thus to receive him, but that this work of faith is wholly supernatural, the operation of God ; how will the soul return again, and again upon God, with such cries as in Mark ix. 24. "Lord, help my unbelief F" " Lord, enable me to w come to Christ ; give me Christ or I perish for ever ; What pro- n fit is there in my blood ? Why should I die in the sight and " presence of a Saviour ? O Lord, it is thine own work, a most " glorious work : Reveal thine arm in this work upon my soul, I " pray thee ; give me Christ, if thou deny me bread ? give me u faith, if thou deny me breath. It is more necessary that I be- " lieve, than that I live."'1
G Reader, reflect upon the days and nights that are past, the places where thou hast been conversant : Where are the bed-sides, or the secret corners where thou hast besieged heaven with such cries ? If God have thus enlightened, convinced, distressed thy soul, and thus set thee a mourning after Christ, it will be one good sign that faith is come into thy soul ; for here are certainly the harbin- gers and forerunners of it, that ordinarily make way for faith into the souls of men.
Secondly, If you would be satisfied of the sincerity and truth of your faith, then examine what concomitants it is attended with in your souls. I mean, what frames and tempers your souls were in, at that time when you think you received Christ. For certainly, in those that receive Christ, (excepting those into whose hearts God hath in a more still and insensible way infused faith betimes, by his blessing upon pious education) such concomitant frames of spirit may be remarked as these following.
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First, The heart is deeply serious, and as much in earnest in this matter, as ever it was, or can be, about any thing in the world. This vou see in that example of the gaoler, Acts xvi. 29. " He " came in trembling and astonished :" It is the most solemn and important matter that ever the soul had before it in this world, or ever shall, or can have : How much are the hearts of men affected in their outward straits and distresses, about the concernments of the body ? Their hearts are not a little concerned in such questions as these, " What shall I eat ? what shall I drink ?" wherewithal shall I and mine be fed and cloathed ? but certainly the straits that souls are in about salvation, must be allowed to be greater than these ; and such questions as that of the gaoler's, " Sirs ! What must I do to be saved ?*" make deeper impressions upon the heart, than what bhall I eat or drink ? Some indeed have their thoughts sinking deeper into these things than others : These thoughts lie with different degrees of weight upon men : but all are most so- lemnly and awfully concerned about their condition : All frothiness and frolics are gone, and the heart settles itself in the deepest earnest about its eternal state.
Secondly, The heart that receives Jesus Christ is in a frame of deep humiliation and self-abasement. O, when a man begins to apprehend the first approaches of grace, pardon, and mercy by Jesus Christ to his soul : When a soul is convinced of its utter un- worthiness and desert of hell ; and can scarce expect any thing else from the just and holy God but damnation, how do the first dawnings of mercy melt and humble them ! " O Lord, what am I " that thou shouldst feed me, and preserve me ! that thou " shouldst but for a few years spare me and forbear me ! but that " ever Jesus Christ should love me, and give himself for me ; that " such a wretched sinner as I should obtain union with his person, " pardon, peace, and salvation by his blood ! Lord, whence is this " to such a worm as I ? and will Christ indeed bestow himself " upon me ? shall so great a blessing as Christ ever come within the " arms of such a soul as mine ? will God in very deed be recon- " ciled to me in his Son ? what, to me ! to such an enemy as I " have been ! shall my sins which are so many, so horrid, so much " aggravated, beyond the sins of most men, be forgiven ? O what " am I, vile dust? base wretch, that ever God should do this for " me i" And how is that scripture fulfilled and made good, Ezek. xvi. 63. " That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and " never open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame, when I " am pacified towards thee for all that thou hast done, saith the 6i Lord God." Thus, that poor broken-hearted believer stood be- hind Christ weeping, and washing his feet with tears, as one quite
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melted down, and overcome with the sense of mercy to such a vile sinner, Luke vii. 38.
Thirdly, The soul that receives Jesus Christ is in a weary com. dition, restless, and full of disquietness, neither able to bear the burden of sin, nor knowing how to be discharged from it, except Christ will give it ease, Mat. xi. 28. " Come unto me," that is, be- lieve in me, " you that are weary and heavy laden :" If they do not look into their own souls, they know there is no safety, and if they do, there is no comfort O ! the burdensome sense of sin over- weighs them ; they are ready to fall, to sink under it.
Fourthly, The soul that rightly receives Christ, is not only in a weary, but in a longing condition : never did the hart pant more earnestly for the water-brooks : never did the hireling desire the shadow : never did a condemned person long for a pardon more than the soul longs after Jesus Christ. O, said David, that one would give me of the water of the well of Bethlehem to drink. O, saith the poor humbled sinner, that one would give me of the opened fountain of the blood of Christ to drink ! O for one drop of that precious blood ! O for one encouraging smile from Christ ! O now were ten thousand worlds at my command, and Christ to be bought, how freely would I lay them all down to purchase him ! but he is the gift of God. O that God would give me Christ, if I should go in rags, and hunger and thirst all my days in this world !