2. The second gi'ound is the declining and withering of our affec- tions to spiritual things ? O ! (saith the upright soul) if ever I had been planted a right seed, I should have been as a green olive tree in the liouse of my God ; but my branches wither, therefore my root is naught. But stay.
Query 1. May you not he mistaken about the decay of grace, and fading of your affections ? What if they are not so quick and rav- ishing as at first, may not that be recompensed in the spirituality and solidity of them now ? Phil. i. 9. " I pray God your love may '' abound more and more in all judgment C It may be more solid, though not so fervent ; or do not you mistake by looking forward to what you would be, rather than backward to what once you were ? It is a good note of Ames, we discern the growth of grace, as the growth of plants, which we perceive rather Crevisse quam crescere, to have grown, than to gi'ow.
Query 2. But grant it he so indeed, as you affirm, must it needs follow, that the root of the matter is not in you f David's last ways are distinguished from his first, S Chron. xvii. 3. and yet both first and last a holy man. The church of Ephesus is charged by Christ for leaving her first love, and yet a golden candlestick, many pre- cious saints in that church. Rev. ii. 9., 3, 4.
3. A third ground of these sad conclusions is, the excess of your aflPections to some creature-enjoyments. I fear I love the creature more than God ; and if so, my love is but hypocritical : I sometimes
Lib. de Consc. p. 109.
ITOW TO KEEP THE HEART FROM DESPERATE CONCLUSIONS. 485
feel stronger, and more sensible motions of my heart to earthly com- forts, than I do to heavenly objects, therefore my soul is not upright 4n me. But stay, O soul,
Query 1. May not a man love God more solidly^ and strongly, than the creature, and yet his affections to the ci-eature he sometimes moved more violently, and sensibly, than towards God ? As rooted malice argues a stronger hatred, than a sudden, though more vio- lent passion : So we must measure our love, not by a violent motion of it, now and then, but by the depth of the root, and constancy of its actings. Because David was so passionately moved for Absalom, Joab concludes, that if he had lived, and ail the people died, " it " would have pleased him well," 2 Sam. xix. 7. But that was argued more like a soldier, than a logician.
Query 2. If you indeed love the creature ^/br itself, if you make it your e?id, and religion hut a means, then the conclusion is rightly drawn upon you. But if you love the creature in reference to God, and see nothing in it separated from him, though sometimes your affections offend in the excess ; this is consistent with sincere love to God. To love the creature inordinately, (i. e.) to put it in God's room, and make it a man's end ; this is the love of a carnal heart ; to love it immoderately, that is, to let out more affection to it than. we ought, is sometimes the sin of the best hearts.
Query 3. Have not many souls feared, as you do, that when Christ and creatures shall stand as competitors in some eminent tibial, they shouldjbi'salce Christ rather than the creature; and yet "when hrought to that dilemma, have been able to cast all the wo7'ld at their heels for Christ ? Many of the martyrs had such fears, and they were sa- tisfied ; the prevalency of love is best seen at parting ; there may be more love to Christ in thy soul, than thou art now aware of; and if God bring thee to such a pinch, thou may est see it.
4. A fourth ground of these sad conclusions, is from hence, that we find our hearts sometimes more straitened in private, than in pub- lic duties. O ! if my soul were sincere, its actings in duty would be uniform. I fear I am but a Pharisee upon this ground. It is sad, indeed, we should at any time find our hearts straitened in pri- vate. But,
Query 1. Do not all thine enlargements in duty, whether public, or private, depend upon the Spirit, who is the Lord of influences ; and according as he gives out, or holds had' those influences, so art thou enlarged, or straitened f And what if sometimes he pleases to give that in a public, which he withholds in a private duty, as long as thy soul is satisfied in neither, without communion with God, and the straitness of thy heart is indeed its burden ? Doth that argue thee to be an hypocrite.''
Query 2. Dost thou not make conscience of private duties, and set thyself as before the Lord in them '^ Indeed, if thou live in the con- J^tant neglect, or careless performance of them ; if thou art curious
4SG HOW TO KEEP THE HEAET FROM DESPERATE CONCLUSIONS.
about public, and careless about private duties, that would be a sad sign : but when you have conscientiously performed, and often met ■with God in them, it will not follow tliat you are insincere, because that communion is sometimes interrupted. Besides,
Query 3. May there not he somefhijig, at sometimes^ in a pithliCf ich'ich is wanting in a private duty, to raise and advantage thine ajfectlons f God may sometimes make use of the melting affections of them with whom thou hearest, or prayest, as petty instruments to move thy affections ; this advantage is wanting in private ; there- fore from hence (the case so standing) no such inference can be drawn.
5. Another ground is from those horrid injections of Satan with which the soul is greatly pei*plexed ; by these I may see what an heart I have : Can grace be where those are ?
Yes, grace may be where such thoughts are, though not where they ai*e lodged, and consented to. Dost thou cry out under the burden .'' Enter thy protest in heaven against them, strive to keep up holy and reverend thoughts of God ; then it is v'loUnce^ not a voluntai'y prosiitntion.
6. The last ground of these sad conclusions, is the Lord's long silence, and seeming denial of our long depending suits, and prayers. O if God had any regard to my soul, he would have heard my cries before now ! But I have no answer from him, therefore no interest in him. But stay, doubting soul,
Querv 1. Have not many saints stumbled upon this stone, before thee ? Psal. xxxi. 22. " I said in my haste, I am cut off from before ** thine eves : nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplica- " tion.'"' So the church. Lam. iii. 44. " Thou coverest thyself with " a cloud, that our prayers should not pass through."" Jonah ii. 4. " Then said I, I am cast out of thy sight."" And may not you be mistaken in this matter, as well as they "^
Query 2. Though God's abhorring, and final rejecting prayer, he an argument of his abhorring the person that prays ; yet dare we conclude so from a mere suspension of tlie ansicer ? God may hear long zcith his own elect, that C7'y unto him day and night, Luke xviii. T.