Fourthly, His weak faith made him hunger and thirst after greater measures of it : Help my unbelief; i. e. Lord, cure it, that I may believe with more strong and steady acts of faith ; that I may not question thy power any more, or say. If thou canst do any thing? Why thus it will be with you, if vou be true believers ; Luke xvii. 5. ' Lord, (said the disciples) increase our faith."'
Fifthly, 'inhere was a conflict in his soul betwixt faith and infidelity, grace and corruption ; and this is very sensible to him ; faith inclin- ing him one way, and unbelief carrying him another : And hence he speaks like a man greatly distressed, betwixt the working of contrary principles in his own soul (and so you will also find it in yourselves) Gal. V. 17. ' The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the fl^sh ; so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.'
Use 2. Of consolation.
Well then, bless the Lord for the least degree of saving faith ; and be not so discouraged at its imperfections, as to overlook and slight the smallest working of faith in your souls. This poor man was deeply sensible of his unbelief, and yet at the same instant truly thankful for a small measure of faith ; and so should you. For,
First, the least measure of saving faith, is more than all the crea- tures power could produce : It is XhefaithqftJieope7'ati(mqfGod, Col. ii. 12. It is the ivork of God, that ye believe, John vi. 29. Yea, it is the eocceeding greatness of his pozcer, Eph. i. 19, 20. No ministersof Christ, how excellent soever their gifts arc, no duties or ordinances, no la-
430 SACllAMENTAL MEDITATIONS.
bour or diligence of your own, without this mighty power of Godf can ever bring you to faith.
Seco?idliy, It is the just matter of wonder and astonishment, that ever one spark of faith was kindled in such an heart as thine is ; an heart which had no predisposition or inclination in the least to be- lieve: Yea, it was not Rasa Tabula, like clean paper, void of any impression of faith, but filled with contrary impressions to it ; so that it is marvellous that ever your hearts received the stamp or im- pression of faith on them.
It was wonderful, that fire should fall from heaven and burn upon the altar, when Elijah had laid the wood in order upon it ; but much more when he poured so much water upon it, as not only wet all the wood, but filled the trenches, 1 Kings xviii. 33. Just so was the case of thy soul, reader, when God came to kindle faith there : Thy heart was dark and ignorant, neither acquainted with God, or thy own condition ; yea, thy heart was a proud heart, full of self-righteous- ness, and self-conceitedness, Rev. iii. 17. Rom. x. 3. A heart, that would rather venture eternal damnation, than deny self, and sub- mit to Christ : And yet the light of the Lord must shine into this darkness, and the pride and stiffness of thy heart must be broken, and brought to yield, or there is no believing.
Beside, How many and mighty enemies did oppose the Avork of faith in thy soul ? Among which Satan and thy own carnal reason- ings were the principal, U Cor. x. 4. By them, what strong-holds aul fortifications were raised, to secure thee from the strokes of con- viction that make way for faith. Let but the state of thine own heart, as it was by nature, be considered, and thou wilt say, it was the wonderful work of God, that ever thou wast brought in any de- gree to believe.
Thirdly, Though thy faith be weak, yet it is growing, if it be saving faith. The largest tree was once but a kernel, or acorn ; the most famous believer, at first but a weak and doubting one : Be not discouraged therefore, God will fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness in you, and the work of faith with power. It were cer- tainly much better for you to be blessing God for a httle faith, pray- ing for the increase of faith, and diligently attending those means by which it may be improved and made flourishing in your souls, than, by a sinful, ungrateful, and prejudicial despondency, at once to dishonour God, and thus wrong yourselves.
Doct. 2. That the remains of unbelief' in gracious hearts do cost them many tears and sorroivs.
There are many things that afflict and grieve the people of God from without; but all their outward troubles are nothing to these troubles that come from within.
There are many inward troubles that make them groan, but none more than this, the unbelief they find in their own hearts. This sin justly costs them more trouble than other sins, because it is the root
SACRAMENTAL MEDITATIONS. 431
from which other sins do spring ; a root of bitterness, bearing worm-wood and gall, to the imbittcring of their souls. For,
Firsts The remains of unbelief in the saints, greatly dishonour God; and what is a great dishonour to God, cannot but be a great grief and burden to them : For look, as faith gives God special honour above all other graces, so unbelief, in a special manner, both wrongs and grieves him above all other sins. Unbelief in dominion makes God a liar, 1 John v. 10. And even the relicts thereof in believers, do shake their assent to his truths and promises, and nourish a vile suspi-^ cion of them in the heart. And how do those base jealousies reflect upon his honour.'* Certainly it cannot but be a grief to a gracious heart to see God dishonoured by others. Psal. cxix. 36. and a much greater to dishonour him ourselves. Hie iliac lachrymce : Upon this ground, we may justly cry out, and say with tears, Lord^ help our unbelief I
Secondly^ The remains of unbelief in the saints, doth not only dis- honour God, but deface and spoil their best duties, in which they at any time approach unto God. Is the face of God clouded from us in prayer, hearing or receiving ? Examine the cause and reason, and you will find that cloud raised from your own unbelievinghearts. Are your affections cold, flat, and dead in duty ? Dig but to the root, and you will find this sin to lie there. If the word do not work upon you as you desire and pray it might, it is because it is not mingled with faith, Heb. iv. % No duties, nor ordinances, no promises, can give down their sweet influences upon your souls, because of this sin. Now communion with the Lord in duties is the life of our life : These things are dearer to the saints, than their eyes. Justly therefore do they bewail and mourn over that sin, which obstructs and intercepts their sweetest enjoyments in this world.