Seventhly, About her trustings and cleavings to Christ as the ivy cleaves to the oak, the child to the mother, or as the wife cleaves to the husband. In all her ups and downs, she would be still hanging upon Christ, and cleaving to Christ, John xiii. 15 ; Acts xi. 23 ; Ruth i. 14 ; Gen. ii. 24.
Eighthly, About her thirstiugs, breathings, and longings, after higher, clearer, and fuller enjoyments of Christ, she could never have enough of Christ, Ps. xiii. 1, 2, lxiii. ; Mai. i. 2, 3 ; Ps. lxxxiv., xxvii. 4, 8, nor enough of his presence, nor enough of his Spirit, nor enough of his grace, nor enough of his manifesta- tions, nor enough of his consolations ; the constant cry of her soul was, More of Christ ! more of Christ ! 0 more of Christ !
Ninthly, About her sad lamenting and bewailing the withdrawings of Christ, Cant. v. 6 ; Isa. viii. 17, 7 ; Micah vii. 8, 9, 2. There were no days so sad, so dark, so gloomy, so grievous, so afflictive to her, as those days wherein he that should comfort her soul stood afar off, Lam. xvi. The shinings of Christ's face made a heaven in her heart ; and the hidings of his face was her only hell. Let whoso would frown, if Christ did but smile, all was well.
Tenthly, About her sympathising with Christ in all the dishonours that were done to his name, his person, his day, bis offices, his ordinances, his ways, his saints ; and it was a grief to her to see others grieving of Christ, Ps. cxix. 53, cxxxvi. ; Jer. ix. 1, 2 ; Ezek. ix. 4, 6 ; 1 Peter ii. 4, 7, 8. Other men's sins were matter of her sorrow ; the sins of others hath cost her many a prayer, many a si"h, many a tear, and many a groan. Now, should I say all I could upon these ten particulars, when should I make an end ? and therefore I must satisfy myself and the reader with a-hinting at things.
APPENDIX TO MEMOIR. lxxix
Her whole life (human frailties excepted) since God made it the day of his power upon her soul, was a daily walking with God ; and all the days that ever passed over her head, there was none for delight, pleasure, profit, comfort, content, boldness, and satisfaction, to those wherein she walked most evenly, most closely, and most exactly with God, Gen. v. 22, vi. 9, xvii. 1; Ps. cxix., cxii. 44, 45 ; Acts xxiv. 16 ; Heb. xiii. 18.
Concerning Sin. 1. Sin of all burdens was her greatest, Ps. xxxviii. 4, xl. 12. 2. Her hatred and indignation against sin was universal, Ps. cxix. 104, 128 ; Isa. ii. 20, xxx. 22 ; Hosea xiv. 8 ; Ps. cxix. 176. 3. Her whole life was a daily conflicting with sin, Rom. vii. 23, 24 ; Ps. xvii. 4. She had rather be rid of all her sins, than be rid of all her troubles, sorrows, trials, bodily ailments, Job vii. 20, 21, xxxiv. 31, 32; Hosea xiv. 2. Others are all for the removing of the judg- ments and afflictions they are under, Exod. viii. 8; Num. xxi. 6, 7 ; Jer. xxx. 15. 5. She durst not allow herself in any known sin, much less in a course or way of sin, Ps. cxix. 1,3; Rom. vii. 15 ; 1 John iii. 9; Prov. xvi. 17. 6. Her greatest conflict was with heart sins, secret sins, spiritual sins, invisible sins ; sins that lie most hid and remote from the eyes of the world, Ps. xix. 12, cxix., cxiii. 'I hate vain thoughts :' secret self-love, secret pride, secret unbelief, secret hypo- crisy, secret murmurings, secret carnal confidence, &c, 2 Chron. xxxii. 25 ; 2 Cor. vii. 1, did sit saddest upon her spirit. 7. There was an irreconcilable opposition in her soul against sin ; she could not, she would not, she durst not upon anv terms in the world, admit of any truce or reconciliation with sin, 1 Kings xiv. 30 ; Rom. vii. 23 ; Gal. v. 17 ; Rom. vi. 6 ; Ps. Ii. 2, 7, &c. 8. Her daily slips and falls did daily produce more soul- loathings, soul-humiliation, self-judging, self-abasement, self-abhorrency, Ezek. xvi. 61, 63 ; 2 Cor. vii. 11 ; Ps. xviii. 9. Her constant desires and earnest endeavours were to avoid and shun all known appearances of sin, Gen. xxxix. 12 ; 2 Cor. viii. 20, 21 ; 1 Cor. ix. 11-15 ; 1 Thes. v. 22 ; Jude 23 ; Exod. xxiii. 7 ; Deut. xii. 30 ; Prov. v. 8. 10. And, lastly, she set herself, her soul, her greatest strength against her bosom sins, her constitution sins, her most powerful and most prevalent sins ; she set herself most against right-e}re sins, and right-hand sins.
Concerning closet-prayer. I never knew any woman spend more time in her closet, nor keep more private days to God than she did. The duties of her closet were her meat and drink, and she was always best when she was most with God in a corner. She has many a whole day been pouring out her soul before God in her closet, for the nation, for Sion, and the great concerns of her own soul, when them about her did judge it more expedient that she had been in her bed, by reason of some bodily infirmity that did hang upon her ; but the divine pleasures that she took in her closet did drown the sense of pain. Secret enjoyments of God makes heavy afflictions light, long afflictions short, and bitter afflictions sweet, Isa. xxxiii. 24, 2 Cor. iv. 16-18. She found by frequent experience that closet-duties were mighty enriching, soul-fattening, soul-strength- ening, soul-nourishing ; and this endeared her to her closet.
Concerning ordinances. All that did thoroughly know her did know, 1, that she greatly loved the ordinances in the power and purity ; 2, that she highly prized them ; 3, that she made improvements of them, &c, endeavouring, according to her measure received, so to live as that she might reflect honour and glory upon the ordinances ; 4, she made conscience of one ordinance as well as another, Luke i. 5, 6 ; she did not as some, cry up some ordinances and cry down others, nor keep close to some, and live in the neglect of others ; 5, she ran all hazards in times of dangers to enjoy the ordinances, and chose rather with Moses to suffer afflictions with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin, which were but for a season, Heb. xi. 24-27. 6. I never knew any Christian under such a load of weaknesses strive and labour to enjoy the ordinances as she did the three last years before her death.
IXXX APPENDIX TO MEMOIR.
Concerning her lore to the saints. First, It was sincere for the image of God, of Christ, of grace, and holiness, 1 John Hi. 14, 18 ; 1 John v. 1. The image of God was the loadstone that drew out her love to the saints.
2. It was universal, to one Christian as well as another, to all as well as any, to poor Lazarus as well as rich Abraham, to an afflicted and despised. Job as well as to an admired David, to an o "flic-ted Jacob as well as to a raised Joseph, Neb. i. 15 ; Col. i. 4 ; Philip, iv. 21 ; 1 Peter ii. 17.