. ing mercies for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin,' Exod. xxxiv. 6, 7. And certainly to keep up such precious thoughts and notions as these are of God, is that work of works that lies upon every man's hand that hath God for his portion. Osirs! there is a very great aptness and proneness, even in those that have God for their portion, to have black, dark, hard, dismal, and dreadful thoughts and apprehensions of God, as you may see in Asaph, Heman, Job, David, &c.^ By nature we are as full of hard thoughts of God, as hell is full of sin ; and when the heart is not mightily over-awed by the Spirit of God and overpowered by the grace of God, there all manner of dark and dismal apprehensions of God abounds. Besides, Satan knows very well that our corrupt natures are made up of sad and hard thoughts of God ; and therefore he will use all his power and craft to blow up every spark, every hard thought of God, into aflame, especially when outward troubles and inward distresses are upon us. What says Satan ? Dost thou think that God loves thee ? O Christian, when he deals thus sharply and severely with thee, doth he pretend kindness to thee, and yet hide his face from thee, and set thee up as a mark to shoot at ? How can he be thy friend, who hath cast thee down at thine enemies' feet, and given thee up into their paws and jaws ? How canst thou think that he hath any pity and compassion towards thee, who makes no better provision for thee ? What vanity is it to believe that he will give thee a crown, that denies thee a crust ? And that he will give thee an house not made with hands, and yet suffer thee to be turned out of house and home ? And that he will do so much for thee in another world, who doth so little for thee in this world ? &c. And thus Satan takes his opportunities to provoke corrupt nature and to kill the soul with hard thoughts of God. And certainly that Christian is a very great stranger to his own heart, that is not able to say from experience that it is one of the highest and hardest works in this world to keep up good and gracious thoughts of God, to keep up honourable and noble thoughts of God, in a suflering condition or under dark and dismal dispensations. Oh, but now those that have God for their portion, they should abandon and abhor all hard thoughts of God, yea, how severe soever the dealings of God are towards them, yet it is their duty and their glory to keep up very sweet and precious thoughts of God, Ps. Ixxiii. 1. 0 sirs! the more choice and honourable thoughts you keep up of God in your own souls, the more you will love the Lord, and the more you will delight in the Lord, and the more content and satisfaction you will take in the Lord. Such Christians that take a pleasure to be still a-representing of God to themselves in the most hideous, terrible, and amazing shapes, they kill their love and their joy, and they create a hell of torments in their own souls. Well, Christians ! let me put a cluster of the grapes of Canaan into your hands at once, and that by telling of you, that the more glorious and blessed thoughts you keep up in your souls of God, the more spiritual, the more frequent, the more fervent, the more abundant, the more constant, and the more unwearied you will be in the work of the Lord, and the more all your graces will be acted, exercised, strengthened, and increased, yea, and the more your evidences for heaven will be cleared, your gracious experiences multiplied, your * Fs. Izxyii. and Ixxxviii ; Job hi.; Fs. Ixxiii. 11-14.
Lam. III. 24-.] an ark for all god's noahs. 78
communion with God raised, your way to glory facilitated, and all your sufferings sweetened ; and therefore never let noble and precious thoughts of God die in your souls. Though he frown upon thee, O Christian, yet say, he is thy portion ; and though he chides thee, yet say, he is thy portion ; and though he corrects thee, yet say, he is thy portion ; and though he deserts thee and carries it strangely towards thee, yet say, he is thy portion ; and though he snatches many a mercy from thee, yet say, lie is thy portion ; and though he multiplies thy burdens upon thee, yet say, he is thy portion ; and though he writes bitter things against thee, yet say, he is thy portion ; yea, though he should pass a sentence of death upon thee, yet still say, he is thy por- tion. O Christians, this would still raise an heaven in your hearts, if under all dispensations you would still look upon God as your portion, and live upon God as your portion. But,
(13.) Thirteenthly, If God be a believer's portion, then never let a believer he afraid to die or unwilling to die. Let them be afraid to die that have only the world for their portion here, and hell for their portion hereafter; but let not a saint be afraid of death, that hath for his portion the Lord of life.^ A man that hath God for his portion should rather court death than tremble at it ; he should rather sweetly welcome it than turn his back upon it ; for death to such an one is but the way to paradise, the way to all heavenly delights, the way to those everlasting springs of pleasure that are at God's right hand, the way to life, immortality, and glory, and the way to a clear, full, constant, and eternal fruition of God, Ps. xvi. 11. Augustine upon those words, Exod. xxxiii. 20, 21, 'Thou canst not see my face and live,' makes this short but sweet reply, ' Then, Lord, let me die, that I may see thy face.' Death is a bridge that leads to the paradise of God. All the hurt that it can do is to bring a believer to a full enjoyment of his portion.* When Modestus, the emperor's lieutenant, threatened to kill Basil, he answered, If that be all, I fear not ; yea, your master cannot more pleasure me than in sending me unto my heavenly Father, to whom I now live, and to whom 1 desire to hasten. Old Alderman Jordan used to say that death would be the best friend he had in the world, and that he would willingly go forth to meet it ; or rather say with holy Paul, ' O death, where is thy sting ?' triumphing over it. What is a drop of vinegai* put into an ocean of wine ? what is it for one to have a rainy day, who is going to take possession of a kingdom ? A Dutch martyr feeling the flame to come to his beard, ' Ah, said he, what a small pain is this, to be compared to the glory to come !'* Lactantius boasts of the brave- ness of that spirit that was upon the martyrs in his time. Our chil- dren and women, not to speak of men, saith he, do in silence overcome their tormentors, and the fire cannot so much as fetch a sigh from them. John Noyes took up a faggot at the fire and kissed it, saying, ' Blessed be the time that ever I was bom, to come to this preferment.'* Never
* See twenty arguments in my 'String of Pearls,' to move you to be willing to die. — G.
* Bernard saith that he heard his brother Gerard, when just in dying, rejoice and triumphingly say, Jam mors mihinon stimulus sedjubilut.