If Satan can but wound our heel, as the poets feign of Achilles, he will make a hard shift but he will send death from the heel to the heart. If this subtle serpent can but wriggle in his tail by an ill thought, he will soon get in his head by a worse action. Hence it is that Christ calls hatred murder, and a wanton eye adultery. Secret hatred often issues in open murder, and secret wanton glances of the eye do often issue in visible adultery. If Amnon be sick with the sinful conceptions of incestuous lust, how will his soul be in pain and travail till he hath brought forth ! And how many are there that in secret have taken now and then but one cup more than enough, who now may be seen at
Mat. YI 6.] the privy key of heaven. 291
high noon reeling against every post. Look, as secret diseases in the body, if not cured, will in time openly break forth, so secret sins in the soul, if not pardoned and purged, will in time be openly revealed. Govetousness was Judas his secret sin ; and no sooner doth an occasion or a temptation present itself, but he is very ready and forward to betray and sell his Lord and Master for thirty pieces of silver before all the world : ' Lust having conceived, brings forth sin,' James i. 15 ; and that thus, first, sin hath its conception, and that is delight ; and then its formation, and that is design ; and then its birth, and that is action ; and then its growth, and that is custom ; and then its end, and that is damnation. But,
Thirdly, Secret sinning puts far Tnore respect and fear upon men than upon God. Thou wilt be unjust in secret, and wanton in secret, and unclean in secret, and treacherous in secret, &c., and why, but be- cause thou art afraid that such or such men should know it, or that such and such friends should know it, or that such and such relations should know it ? Ah! poor wretch, art thou afraid of the eye of a man, of a man that shall die, and of the son of man, which shall be made as grass ? Isa. li. 12, and yet not tremble under his eye, ' whose eyes are as a flame of fire, sharp and terrible, such as pierce into the inward parts V Rev. i. 14, Heb. iv. 13. Ah ! how full of atheism is that man's heart, that tacitly saith, ' If my sins be but hid from the eyes of the world, I do not care though the Lord knows them, though the Lord strictly observes them, though the Lord sets a mark, a memorandum upon them.' What is this, O man, but to brave it out with God, and to tempt him, and provoke him to his very face, * who is light, and in whom there is no darkness at all'? 1 John i. 5, 6. Ah ! sinner, sinner, can man damn thee 1 can man disinherit thee ? can man fill thy con- science with horrors and terrors ? can man make thy life a very hell ? can man bar the gates of glory against thee ? can man speak thee into the grave by a word of his mouth ? and after all, can man cast thee into endless, easeless, and remediless torments ? Oh no ! Can God do all this ? Oh yes ! Why, then, doth not thy heart stand more in awe of the eye of the great God, than it doth of the eye of a poor, weak, mortal man? '
I have insisted the longer on this particular, because there is not any one thing in all the world that doth more hinder secret communion with God and secret prayer, than secret sins. And oh that you would all make it your great business to watch against secret sins, and to pray against secret sins, and to mourn over secret sins, and deeply to judge and condemn yourselves for secret sins, and carefully and conscien- tiously to shun and avoid all occasions and provocations that may be as fuel to secret sins.
Certainly there are no men or women that are so sincere and serious in closet-prayer, or that are so frequent, so fervent, so constant in closet- prayer, or that are so delightful, so resolute, so undaunted, or so un- wearied in closet- prayer, as those that keep themselves most clear and free from secret sins.
For a close, remember this, — that though secret sins are in some respects more dangerous than other sins are, yet in three respects they are not so bad nor so dangerous as other sins are.
292 THE PRIVY KEY OF HEAVEN. fM^T. VI. 6.
First, In that they do not so scandalise religion as open sins do.
Secondly, In that they do not shame, grieve, and wound the hearts of the saints as open sins do.
Thirdly, In that they are not so infectious to others, nor such pro- vocations to others to sin against the Lord as open sins are.
And thus you may see what those things are that you must carefully take heed of, as ever you would addict yourselves to closet-prayer.
And as you must take heed of these five things, so there are several other things that you must carefully and conscientiously apply your- selves to, as ever you would be found faithful and constant in this great duty, viz. closet'prayer.
[1.] First, Lament greatly and mourn bitterly over the neglect of this choice duty. He that doth not make conscience of mourning over the neglect of this duty, will never make conscience of performing this duty. Oh that your heads were waters, and your eyes a fountain of tears, that you might weep day and night for the great neglect of closet- prayer, Jer. ix. 1. He that mourns most for the neglect of this duty, will be found most in the practice of this duty. He that makes most conscience to accuse, arraign, and condemn himself for neglecting closet- prayer, he will make most conscience of giving himself up to closet- prayer. It is said of Adam that he turned his face towards the garden of Eden, and from his heart bitterly lamented his great fall. Oh that you would turn your faces towards your closets, and bitterly lament your rare going into them. But,
[2.] Secondly, Hahituaie yourselves, accustom yourselves, to closet- prayer. Make private prayer your constant trade. Frequency begets familiarity, and familiarity confidence. We can go freely and boldly into that friend's house whom we often visit. What we are habituated to we do with ease and delight. A man that is habituated or accus- tomed to write, to read, to ride, to run, or to play on this or that musical instrument, &c,, he doth it all with delight and ease ; and so a man that doth habituate himself to closet-prayer, he will manage it with delight and ease. But,
[3.] Thirdly, Keep a diaiv/ of all your closet-experiences, Deut. viL 18, 19 ; Ps. Ixvi. 12. Oh carefully record and book down all your closet mercies ! oh be often in reading over your closet experiences, and be often in meditating and in pondering upon your closet experiences ! There is no way like this, to inflame your love to closet-prayer, and to engage your hearts in this secret trade of private prayer.