XII. Twelftbly, Consider that it is a Christian's greatest vAsdom and highest concernment, to take the most commodJous time for the casting up of his spiritual accounts. If I would know what I am worth for another world, and what I have to shew for 'the inheritance of the saints in light,' then I am to take my heart when it is at best,, and when I am most divinely prepared and fitted for this great service, then to enter upon it. It is no wisdom for a man to go to see his face in troubled waters, or to look for a pearl in a puddle. There are some particular times and seasons in which it is no way safe nor convenient for a Christian to enter upon the trial of his spiritual estate. As, first. When the body is greatly distempered ; 2, When the soul is greatly tempted by Satan, or sadly deserted by God ; 3, When the conscience is so deeply wounded by some great falls, as that the soul is filled wdth exceeding great fear, terror, and horror.^ It is with many poor Christians in this case, as it hath been with some who have been so struck with the fear and horror of death before the judge, that though they were good scholars, and able to read anything, yet fear and horror hath so surpri.sed them, that when their lives have been at stake, and the book hath been given them to read, they have not been able to read one line, one word.^ So many of the precious servants of Christ, when they have been under wounds of conscience, and when they have been filled with fears, terrors, and horrors, they have not been able to look up to heaven, nor read their evidences, nor turn to the breasts of the promises, nor call to mind their former experiences, nor behold the least glimpse of heaven's glories, Ps. xl. 12, Ixxvii., Ixxxviii. ; Job xxiii. 8, 9. No man in his wits, if he were to weigh gold, would weigh it in the midst of high winds, great stomis, and horrible tempests, which would so hurry the balance up and down, this way and that, that it would be impossible for him to weigh his gold exactly. Now the trial of our spiritual estates is like the weighing of gold, for we are all to weigh our- selves by the balance of the sanctuary. Job. xxxi. G ; Dan. v. 27. God himself will one day weigh us by that balance, and if we hold weight when he comes to weigh us, we are safe and happy for ever. But when he comes to weigh us in the balance of the sanctuary, if we shall then be found too liofht, it had been good for us we had never been born. When Belshazzar saw the handwriting upon the wall, his countenance was changed, and his thoughts troubled, and the joints of his loins werr loosed, and his knees smote one against another, verses 5, 6 ; but what WAS all this to an everlasting separation from God, and to those endless,
' Times of desertion and temptation arc rather times and seasons for monrninj;, watching, resting, and seeking of God, than forjudging uud determiuiug of our conditions. =* Cf. Sibbes, vol. v. p. 4o8.— G.
Chap. L] a cabinet of jewels. 295
ceaseless, and remediless torments that such must endure, who, when they are weighed in the balance, shall be found too light ? 2 Thes. i. 7-10. A man that would weigh gold to a grain, must weigh it in a quiet still place ; and so a man that would make an exact trial of his spiritual estate, he must take his soul when it is most serious, quiet, still, and composed ; he must take his heart when it is in the best frame, and most disposed to solemn and weighty work. There are some times which are very unapt for a gracious person to sit as judge upon his spiritual estate, and to pass sentence upon his own soul.' The best Christians under heaven do meet with divers inward and outward changes ; sometimes the light shines so clear that they can see things as they are, but at other times all is dark and cloudy, and tempestuous, and then they are apt to judge themselves by feeling and new re- presentations, and not according to the truth. O sirs ! remember this once for all, that times of inward or outward distresses are best for praying, and worst for judging. If a man will at such times pass sen- tence on himself or his estate as a judge, he will certainly judge un- righteous judgment, for then the soul is not itself, and is very apt and prone to take Satan's work for his own, and to side with him against it- self, yea, and then usually it will see nothing, it will think of nothing, it will dwell upon nothing but what makes against itself 4. When God exercisesa man with someexceedingsevereandunusual providences, when God steps out of his ordinary way of dispensations in his deaUngs with a man ; Avhen God sets a man up before all the world as a mark to shoot at, as he did Job, Job vii. 20,xvi. 12. Now a poor Christian is ready to doubt and conclude. Surely the Lord has no regard of me, he has no entire love for me, his heart is certainly not towards me, seeing all these sore trials make so much against me ; but here the poor Christian is mistaken, as Jacob once was : Gen. xlii. 36, ' And Jacob their father said unto them. Me have ye bereaved of my children : Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away. All these things are against me.' But Jacob was out, for all those things made for him, and for the pre- servation of the visible church of God in the world. Gen. xlv. 5-9. Certainly all the afflictions that befall the people of God, are but his love-tokens. ' As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten,' Rev. iii. 19, Heb. xii. 5, 6, and therefore those Christians are miserably mistaken that take them for testimonies of his wrath, and effects of his disfavour. O sirs ! what can be more absurd, displeasing, and provoking, than for a Christian to make that an argument of God's hatred, that he intends for an instance of his love ? and yet Christians are apt thus to act. It is observable the apostle reckons affliction amongst God's honoraries and tokens of respect, ' For to you it is given,' saith he, ' not only to believe, but also to suffer,' Philip, i. 29, 'which,' saith father Latimer, 'is the greatest promotion that God gives in this world.' Job, when he was himself, could not but admire at it, Job vii. 17, 18, that God should make such an account of man, and that he should so magnify him, and dignify him, as to think him Avorthy of a rod, a whipping ; as to think
^ The candle will never burn clear whilst there is a thief in it. Sin indulged in the conscience, is like Jonah in the ship, which causeth such a tempest, that the conscience is like a troubled sea, whose waters cannot rest, or it is like a mote in the eye, whicli causetli a perpetual trouble while it is there. [' Thief. ' Cf. Sibbes, vol. iv., note/, p. 486.— G.]
296 A CABINET OF JEWELS. [ChAP. I.