Secondly, That we may understand this disease the better, let us consider what is not it.
1. Not every lighter distemper, which the gracious heart observeth and rectifieth. There are failings and infirmities during the present state, and nothing is so uncertain as to judge of ourselves by particular actions ; in every act love doth not put forth itself so strongly as at other times, but a coldness and deadness seizeth upon us, which we cannot shake off. Or there may be failings, and we walk in darkness, Isa. Ixiv. 7, for one act or so, and yet cannot be called a decay of love ; every act of known sin is not apostasy and defection, nor a degree of it, as every feverish heat after a meal in the spring is not a fever. Alas, for the generation of the just, if every vain thought, or idle word, or distempered passion, were a decay of love ! Some obstruction of love there may be for the jiresent, which the soul taketh notice of, and retracts with sorrow and remorse, but still we hold on our course ; yet it is a stopping in our course : Gal. v. 7, ' Ye did run well ; who did hinder you ? '
2. Every loss and abatement of those ravishments, and transports of soul, or love-qualms, which we feel sometimes, is not this decay. There are some raised operations, of love which cannot be constant ; in two cases especially we find them : —
[1.] At first conversion. There are then strong joys and liftings up of soul upon our first acquaintance with God. Partly, from the new- ness of the thing ; new things strangely affect and transport us, and
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no doubt there are .greater and more express admirations of grace, wlien first called out of darkness into light. And that is the reason why it is called ' marvellous light/ 1 Peter ii. 9. The change is more admired by them who are newly plucked out of that woeful condition they were in before, and possessed of such excellent privileges as they have in their estate ; it makes them wonder the more at their own happiness ; as a man in deep thirst hath a more sensible pleasure when he first cometh to meet with drink ; his taste is more lively then, though he be thankful to God for the comfort of ordinary meals. Partly, because then our love wholly showeth itself in sensitive expressions, whilst as yet love i.s not dispersed and difiused into the several channels of obedience. The tide may be high and strong, our only work at first being the thankful entertainment and welcome of grace ; but when a man cometh to see how many ways he is to express his love to God, he may have a true zeal and aftection to God in his christian course, a more rooted and grounded love, though he have not those ravishments and trans- ports of soul, Eph. iii, 17. And partly, because the first edge of our affections is not yet blunted by change of cases. A young christian may be dandled upon the knee, have a more plentiful measure of God's sensible presence than afterwards is afforded to him, not yet tried with smiles and frowns, and variety of conditions, and things 23rosperous and adverse. And do you think that the seasoned christian doth not love God as well as he, who hath been faithful to him in all estates, and not only passed the pangs of the new birth, but sundry encounters of temptations ? Surely the tried man hath the stronger love, though it may be not such stirrings of affections, as he who is under God's .special indulgence, and from whom God for a while restraineth the violent assaults of furious temptations, till he be a little more confirmed and engaged in the profession of godliness.
[2.] After great comforts and enlargements. In the days of God's royalty and magnificence, sometimes a christian hath high affections to God, and joys in the sense of his love, when God hath feasted him, and manifested himself to him : Ps. Ixiii. 6, ' My soul is filled as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips.' There are rich experiences of the love of God in his ordinances, which are vouchsafed to us, to which all the pleasures of the creature are no way comparable. Now these are very great mercies, but very doubtful evidences to try our estate by ; for these overflowings of love are acci- dental things — possunt aclessc et abesse. They are fitted for special spiritual occasions. We cannot always bear up under them. A settled calm, and the peace of the soul, is a greater mercy than these spiritual suavities or passionate joys ; if we have our taste kept up, and our relish of heaven and spiritual things, or a fixed bent of heart towards them, it is a more constant and less deceiving experience. Paul had his raptures, but withal his thorn in the flesh, to keep him humble, 2 Cor. xii. 7. "We cannot expect that God should entertain us always with a feast ; if he give us the constant diet and allowance of his family, let us be thankful. And though we are not to rest in a dull quietness, but raise our hearts often to delight in God in more than an ordinary manner, yet no wise man can expect this should be our constant frame.