212 A TKEATISE OF SELF-DENIAL. [BoOK 1.
say with thy enemies, with unbelievers, but with ' thy servant/ Self- conceit then is a sure argument of self-dependence. When men think much of what they have done for God, and do not break out into actual humiliation, certainly it is a sign their hearts do run upon the merit of their actions. Secretly tliey say in their hearts, This is my righteousness, which is against the standing rule of Christ : Luke xvii. 10, ' When you have done all you can, say you are unpi-ofitable servants.'
(2.) When men grow vain and wanton after solemn duties, as if their former strictness should bear them out : Bzek. xiii. 33, 'He that trusts to his righteousness^ and commits iniquity,' &c. Usually men that trust to their righteousness indulge themselves in vanity and sin with the more licence and boldness, as if one part of obedience would recom- pense and make amends for the defect of another. This is grossly done by carnal men ; as the Jews hoped to repair their want of mercy, by the multitude of their sacrifices, as if that would make amends for their defect in the weighty things of the law, by tithing mint and cummin. It is true the children of God may be surprised, as good Josiah was, his breach with God was after he had prepared the temple, 2 Chron. xxxv. 20, when he went out to fight against Necho, king of Egypt. Now suitably, and like to this, is when the indulgence goes before the duty ; it is all one, only it is more carnal, as when men give up themselves to a greater liberty in sinning, out of pretence that their repentance shall make amends for all. As those in the ])rimitive times that delayed their baptism. When I am baptized, I will leave off my vicious course of life ; or, as men give up themselves to youthful follies upon a dream of a religious old age, and upon a pretence of a devout retirement and that hereafter they will sequester themselves from the world.
(3.) When men would have some worth in themselves before they come to God for mercy. He comes to God most worthy that comes most sensible of his unworthiness, Luke xviii. 9. Read the parable that Christ spake against those that were ' righteous in themselves : ' the one would come to God with something of his own, the other would come as a beggar — ' God be merciful to me a sinner ; ' the one appeals to justice, the other to mercy. It is contrary to the gospel, however disguised it seems ; it seems to be humility, yet indeed it is but pride. When men will not look after the comforts of the gospel because they are not worthy, this is contrary to the tenor of the gospel ; for where- fore is Christ a Saviour, but for sinners, 1 Tim. i. 15. It is but i* humble pride when men would have some worth in themselves before they would come to God.
(4.) When men nuumur if God doth not hear their prayers, and come in at their times and seasons : Isa. Iviii. 3, ' Wherefore have we fasted, and thou regaixlest not ? ' When men Avill come and challenge God as if he were in debt to them, it is a sign their hearts secretly run upon their own righteousness. Murmuring is a fruit of merit. If God be not a debtor, why should we complain where nothing is due ? Therefore the complainers speak perversely against the providence of God. It is a sign they think they have deserved better. Those that prescribe to God ascribe too much to themselves. Proud hypo-
Book L] a treatise of self-denial. 213
elites think God is beholden to them, that he is bound to hear them, thei-efore they murmur if they have not what they expect. They en- tertain crosses with anger, and blessings with disdain. Mai. i. 2, when God loved them, they count slight of his mercy and say, ' Wherein hast thou loved us ? ' The children of God wonder why the Lord should show them any mercy at all ; they wonder anything should be theirs but vengeance and pimishment, since nothing is theirs but sin. ' What am I ! ' saith David, 2 Sam. vii. 18. Whence is it that God should be so merciful and gracious to me ? Nothing can be little to them, because they know their sins are so great and their deserts so small. And if God lay affliction upon them, they are humble and quiet, knowing it is but the fruit of their doings.
(5.) When men go on in a track of duty and outward observances, and never look after the interest of their persons, this is a sign they would be accepted for their works' sake. It is God's method to accept of the person before the work. And all that are God's are driven to take hold of the covenant, driven out of themselves to run to the ' hope that God hath set before them,' as it is said of the heirs of promise, Heb. vi. 18. There was never a man that belonged to God but one lime or other he was driven to run to the covenant of grace ; therefore when men never breathe out those desires to be found in Christ, it is a sign their hearts do secretly build upon their own righteousness.