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146 THE soul's conflict,
thing, if he would but make use of his reason ? Would an old man, when he is veiy near his journey's end, make longer provision for a short way, if he would ask himself a reason ? But, indeed, covetousness is an unreason- able vice.
If those also of the younger sort would ask of themselves, why God should not have the flower and maiTow of their age ? and why they should give their strength to the devil ? it might a little take them oiF from the devil's service. But sin is a work of darkness, and therefore shuns not only the light of grace, but even the light of reason. Yet sin seldom wants a seeming reason. Men will not go to hell without a show of reason. But such be sophistical fallacies, not reasons ; and, therefore, sinners are said to play the sophisters with themselves. Satan could not deceive us, imless we deceived ourselves first, and are willingly deceived. Wilful sinners are blind, because they put out the light of reason, and so think God, like them- selves, blind too, Ps. 1. 21, and, therefore, they are deservedly termed mad- men and fools ; for, did they but make use of that spark of reason, it would teach them to reason thus : I cannot give an account of my ways to myself; what account shall I, or can I, give then to the Judge of aU flesh ere it be long.
And as it is a ground of repentance in stopping our coui'se to ask, What have I done ? so likewise of faith and new obedience, to ask, What shall I do for the time to come ? and then upon settling, the soul in way of thanks will be ready to ask of itself, ' What shall I return to the Lord '? ' &c. So that the soul, by this dealing with itself, promoteth itself to all holy duties tiU it come to heaven.
1. The reason why we are thus backward to the keeping of this court in ourselves is self-love. We love to flatter om* own affections, but this self- love is but self-hatred in the end. As the wise man says, he that regards not this part of wisdom, * hates his own soul, and shall eat the fruits of his own ways,' Prov. i. 31.
2. As likewise it issues from an irksomeness of labour, which makes us rather willing to seem base and vile to ourselves and others, than to take pains with our own hearts to be better, as those that are weaiy of holding the reins give them up unto the horse neck, and so are driven whither the rage of the horse carrieth them. Sparing a little trouble at first, doubles it in the end ; as he who will not take the pains to cast up his books, his books will cast up him in the end. It is a blessed trouble that brings sound and long peace. This labour saves God a labour, for therefore he judgeth us, because we would not take pains with oui'selves before, 1 Cor. xi. 31.
3. And pride also, with a desire of liberty, makes men think it to be a diminishing of greatness and freedom either to be curbed, or to curb our- selves. We love to be absolute and independent ; but this, as it brought ruin upon our nature in Adam, so it will upon our persons. Men, as Luther was wont to say, are bom with a pope in their belly, they are loath to give an account, altlaough it be to themselves, their wills are, instead of a kingdom to them, mens mihi pro regno.
Let us, therefore, when any lawless passions begin to stir, deal with our souls as God did with Jonah, ' Docst thou well to be angry ?' Jonah iv. 4, to fret thus. This will bo a means to make us quiet ; for, alas ! what weak reasons have we often of strong motions. Such a man gave me no respect, such another looked more kindly upon another man than upon me, :'tc. You have some of Haman's spirit, Esth. v. 13, that for a little neglect
THE soul's conflict. 147
would ruin a -whole nation. Passion presents men that are innocent as gailtj io us, facit ira nocentes ; and because we will not seem to be mad without reason, pride commands the wit to justify anger, and so one passion maintains and feeds another.
Obs. 2. Neither is it sufficient io cite the soul before itself; hut it must be j)rcssecl to give an account, as we see here David doubles and trebles the expostulation ; as oft as any distemper did arise, so oft did he labour to keep it down. If passions gi*ow too insolent, Eli's mildness will do no good, 1 Sam. ii. 24. It would prevent much trouble in this kind to subdue betimes, in ourselves and others, the first beginnings of any unruly passions and afiections ; which, if they be not well tutored and disciplined at the first, prove as headstrong, um'uly, and ill nurtm-ed chikken, who, being not chastened in time, take such a head, that it is oft above the power of pai'ents to bring them in order. A child set at liberty, saith Solomon, 'breeds shame, at length, to his parents,' Prov. sxix. 15. Adonijah's example shews this. The hke may be said of the affections set at hberty ; it is dangerous to redeem a httle quiet by yielding to our afiections, which is never safely gotten but by mortification of them.