Ohj. But conscience may object, upon any offence is God offended, and therefore not to be trusted ?
Ans. It is true, where faith is not above natural conscience ; but a con- science ' sprinkled with the blood of Christ,' Heb. x. 22, is not scared from God by its infirmities and failings, but as David here is rather stirred up to run unto God by his distemper ; and it had been a gi-eater sin than his distemper not to have gone unto God. Those that have the spirit of sons in their hearts, run not further from God after they have a little strayed from him ; but, though it be the nature of sinful passions to breed grief and shame, yet they will repair to God again, and their confidence overcomes their guilt, so well are they acquainted with God's gracious disposition.
Yet we see here, Da^dd thinks not of trusting in God, till fii'st he had done justice upon his own soul, in rebuking the unruly motions thereof. Censure for sin goeth before favour in pardoning sin or boldness to ask par- don of God. Those that love God must hate ill, Ps. xcvii. 10. If our consciences condemn us of allowing any sin, we cannot have boldness with God, who is light and can abide no darkness, and ' gi'eater than our con- sciences,' 1 John iii. 20.
§ VII. 6. Moreover, hence we see it is no easy thing to hnng God and the heart together. David here as he often checks his heart, so he doth often charge his heart. Doubts and troubles are still gathering upon him, and his faith still gathering upon them. As one striving to get the haven, is driven back by the waves, but recovering himself again, gets forward still, and after often beating back, at length obtains the wished haven, and then is at rest, so much ado there is to bring the soul unto God, the harbour of true comfort. It were an easy thing to be a Christian, if religion stood only in a few outward works and duties, but to take the soul to task, and to deal roundly with our own hearts, and to let conscience have its full work, and to bring the soul into spmtual subjection unto God, this is not so easy a matter, because the soul out of self-love is loath to enter into itself, lest it should have other thoughts of itself than it would have. David must bid his soul trust, and trust, and trust again before it will yield. One main ground of this difiiculty is, that contrary which is in the soul by reason of contrary principles. The soul so far as it is gi'acious commands, so far as it is rebellious resists, which drew holy Austin to a kind of astonishment: * The soul commands the body and it yields,' saith he, ' it commands itself, and is resisted by itself. It commands the hand to move, and it moveth with such an unperceivable quickness that you can discern no distance betwixt the command and the motion. Wlience comes this ? but because the soul perfectly wills not, and perfectly enjoins not that which is good, and 60 far forth that it fully wills not, so far it holds back.' * There should
* Uncle hoc monstrum et quare istud ? Non ex toto vult, non ex toto im-
perat, in tantum non fit quod impcrat, in quantum non vult. — Augustine, Confess., 13ook YIII., ix. 21.
THE soul's conflict. 201
be no need of commanding the soul if it were perfect, for then it would be of itself, what it now commandeth. If David had gotten his soul at perfect freedom at the first, he needed not have repeated his charge so often upon it. But the soul naturally sinks downward, and therefore had need often to be wound up.
§ VIII. 7. We should therefore labour to bring our souls, as David doth here, to a fii-m and peremptory resolution, and not stand wavering, and as it were equally balanced betwixt God and other things ; but enforce our souls. We shall get Uttle ground of infidelity else. Drive your souls, therefore, to this issue, either to rely upon God, or else to yield up itself to the present grievance. If by yielding, it resolves to be miserable, there's an end, but if it desires rest, then let it resolve upon this only way, to trust in God. And well may the soul so resolve, because in God there are grounds of quieting the soul, above all that may unsettle it ; in him there is both worth to satisfy, and strength to support the soul. The best way to maintain inward peace, is to settle and fix our thoughts upon that which will make us better, till we found our hearts warmed and wi'ought upon thereby, and then, as the prophet speaks, ' God will keep us in peace, peace,' that is, ' in perfect and abundant peace,' Isa. xxvi. 3. This resolution stayed Job, that though God should kill him, yet he resolved ' to trust in him,' Job xiii. 15. Answerable to our resolution is our peace, the more resolution the more peace. Irresolution of itself, without any grievance, is full of disquiet. It is an unsafe thing always to begin to live, to be always cheapen- ing and paltering with God ; come to this point once, trust God I ought, therefore, trust God I will, come what may or will.