Obj. Now some will object, Here is a troublesome course ! what a deal of do is here. What kind of life would you have the life of a Christian to be, to be thus discussing and censuring ?
Sol. I answer, it is the trouble of jJnjsic that jverents the trouble of sickness. Is it not better to be troubled with physic, than to be troubled with a long and tedious sickness ? Is it not better to be troubled with the pain of a tent, I than with the pain of a wound ? All this is but preventing ; by this course we prevent further trouble. For we must know that God hath put conscience into us, and this conscience must, and it shall have its work, either in this world or in the world to come ; and therefore let us discharge it now by sifting, by examining and condemning ourselves, that it may not rise and stand against us, when wo would have it our friend. Oh, carry things so that conscience may be a friend at the day of judgment, put it § out of office now, let it say what it can, stifle it not, stop it not, divert it not, let it have its full scope to say what it can. For I beseech you do but consider the fearful estate of a man that hath neglected self-examina- tion : when he comes to die, and is in any trouble, when he sees death before him, live he cannot, and to die he is unfit ; for if he look back, he looks back to a world of sin ^ not repented of ; forwards he sees eternal damnation before him ; if he look to God, he is ofiended for his rebellious course of life. Where is then the comfort of such a one, that in the glorious light of the gospel doth not practise this duty of judging himself?
Sin must be judged either in a repentant heart or [else] || by God, [it] || being against God's prerogative, for he hath made a law against it. Judged it must be : we must give account of every ' idle word,' either in a repentant heart, by afflicting our own souls for it, or at the day of judgment. Mat. xii. 86. Now what a fearful thing will this be, to have all to make account for then. Is it not a great mercy, beloved, that God hath pointed out such a course to set up a court of conscience to prevent shame ? Were it not a shame for us to have our faults written in our foreheads ? And yet better so, than to have all to reckon for at the day of judgment. For if all our faults were laid open, our corrupt thoughts and vile affections here — there were hope of repentance in this world ; but to have them laid open to our shame and confusion in the world to come, it is a matter of eternal despair. Now God, to prevent both these, hath set up a court of conscience, that we might judge ourselves, and prevent shame here, and damnation hereafter.
Quest. And how shall this torment [wretches] 5^ in hell, when a man** shall think, God put conscience in me ; if I had not put it off, but suffered
* ' These ' in B, C— G. || ' Else ' and ' it ' added -in B, C— G.
t ' It is ' added in B, C— G. i ' Wretches ' added in B, C— G.
i That is = ligature made ' tent ' or ' tight.' — G. *='^ ' They ' in B, C— G. I Qu. ' put it not ' ?— Ed. ' ' Yet " in C— G.
92 judgment's eeason.
it to have done what it would, I might have been thus and thus, hut now I have -wilfully cast myself into this [misery].* It will be the hell in hell, that shall torment us more than hell,f when we shall think, I have brought myself carelessly and securely to that J cursed estate such shall be then in;§ therefore, I beseech you, consider the misery of a man that neglects the practice of this dntj, and consider withal how happy and how sweet the condition of that man is that hath and carefully doth daily perform this duty : he is afraid of no ill tidings ; if anything come, he hath made his reckoning and account with God, there is no sin upon the file 1 1 uurepented of, and unjudged, and unconfessed to God. If he looks back, he considers his sins, but he hath repented of them. If he look forward, he sees nothing but God reconciled, and he can think of death and judgment with comfort. Oh, the happiness, and the peace, and the inward paradise of such a man, about IT another careless man that puts off his estate, because he will not trouble and afflict his own soul, and torment himself before his time.
Here is the difference between a careless and a sound Christian ; what the one thinks now, the other shall ere long. But only the one is mad now, and is not his own man, but besotted with ambition and covetousness ; the other is sober, and in his right wits, able to judge and to censure him- self. And therefore let holy persons that are careful, pass not a whit for the censures of vain persons ; they speak against what they know not ; against a strict course of life. Those that truss up the loins of their souls, and are careful of their ways, they are the only sound Christians ; they are the only comfortable Christians, that can think of all conditions, and of all estates comfortabl_y, I beseech you take these things to heart, and let us be stirred up to perform this duty I speak of,** of daily trying and examin- ing of tf our ways, that daily we may relish Christ.