Then again, God doth it to shew his freedom, that to whom he pleaseth he will give more assurance, to shew that he is a free giver. Our salvation is according to his good pleasure, so is the feeling of it ; some shall have more, some less. God will sometimes manifest his comforts and feeling more to weak Christians than others, as a father or mother shews the greatest love to the weakest child. God knows that strong Christians have other things to support them with than feelings ; they can go back, as holy
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David doth, to former experiences, and rely upon the word and promise strongly ; so he sullbrs them to support themselves with stronger things than present feelings. Those who are weakest, ho vouchsafeth unto them the sweet feeling of his love, as parents dandle and study most to pleaso the sickest and weak children. But wo should leave this to God, who gives us what measure he will, and at what time he will. Some he thinks good to keep a long time from feeling this assurance, to humhle them for being too bold with sin ; and some, likewise, he will keep longer from this assurance, perhaps all the days of their life, because they have been too confident heretofore in touching and meddling with petty sins, which, aa pitch and fire, hath burned and defiled them too much ; in the mean time supporting them with suiiicient grounds of a happy estate, notwithstanding their infirmities ; they may be as good Christians after a fall as ever, though perhaps never attain unto that feeling and sense which formerly they en- joyed ; for though they have not feeling, yet they may have strong faith, as Christ upon the cross had strong assurance without feeling, when he said, ' My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?' Thus we see that assurance may be obtained.
! Quest. Now we come to a more principal question. How we may know whether we have the act or no, the first act to yield the obedience of faith, for that is the main. Perhaps a Christian may die in the rage of a fever, or in child-birth, and never have strong assurance. Many go to heaven that never have it.
A))s. 1. But for the first, a man may know in his right temper that he performs the act of faith in affiance, by the reflect act of his soul, if it be not hindered, let him return upon himself; as, how do I know I under- stand a thing when I do conceive it ? Why, by a faculty the soul hath to know it understands. So, how doth a soul know that it believes, but by a reflect act of the soul, whereby it knows it believes when it doth believe, especially when the soul is in a right temper ? If a natural soul knows it understands when it understands, and loves when it loves, so doth the soul by the Spirit know that it believes when it doth believe. If, as I said, the soul be not distempered, it is the nature of the conscience to bear witness of the act of itself; and usually God's Spirit, together with the conscience, doth discover it, Rom. viii. 16.
2. But the safest course is to go to the fruit. Know thou hast the act of faith by the fruit. To name one now, because in the next point I shall have occasion to speak more of it. The fruit of this act is seen especially in the greatest temptation ; for if a man have a spirit of prayer, then to go to God, and have boldness in extremity, certainly he believes ; for faith is the cause of praj^er, prayer is the breath and flame of faith. Where there is the spirit of prayer, there is always the spirit of faith ; where there is boldness to go to God, there certainly is the Spirit, whereby we may be assured that we have the spirit of adoption, howsoever we find not so evident witness that we are the sons of God. Yet if we have liberty and boldness to go to God in extremity, it is a sign there is the spirit of faith ; as we may see in David, Ps. xxxi. 22, ' For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes : nevertheless thou heardest the voice of mj supplication when I cried unto thee.' He said he was cut off, yet he cried unto God when he was in temptation. Though his flesh yielded, and said he was cut off from God, and that he was not the child of God, yet there was a better principle within him to pray, ' nevertheless I cried unto thee.' So saith Job, ' Though he kill me, yet will I trust in him,' Job xiii. 15.
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Job wanted this assurance and feeling, yet notwithstanding, see the act of his faith, ' Though he kill me, I will trust in him.' When in extremity we can trust God, and go boldly to the throne of grace, and not sink in despair, it is a sign that we are in the state of gi'ace, and yield the act of faith. Though we find not that sweet feeling, at length God will be merci- ful to us ; so that after we have yielded the obedience of faith, we shall find the assurance.