BALAAM S WISH.
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The three worthies of David brake through the host, and got the water of Bethel for David: * Oh that I had of the water of Bethel,' 2 Sam. xxiii. 15. So where there are strong desires they are like David's worthies, they carry the soul through all impediments, they grow stronger and stronger, and are never satisfied till they come to the water of life. Let us consider these things, whether we have this desire or no. If we have but some- times flashes, inconstant, ineffectual desires, desires that grow not, that are soon satisfied, and are stilled with anything, alas ! these desires the Spirit of God never kindled and bred in the heart ; they are ordinary flashes, that shall serve for our deeper damnation. Therefore let us take heed, and not rest in a castaway's estate; let us not rest in Balaam's state, but labour that the desires of our souls may be as they should.
Desires, I confess, are the best character to know a Christian ; for works may be hypocritical, desires are natural. Therefore we ought to consider our desires, what they are, whether true or no ; for the first thing that issues from the soul are desires and thoughts. Thoughts stir up desires. This inward immediate stirring of the soul discovers the truth of the soul better than outward things. Let us oft therefore examine our desires. And let me add this one thing to the other, let us examine our desires by this, besides the rest,
(7.) Whether ice desire holiness, and the restoration] of the image of God, the new creature, and to have victory against our corruptions ; to be in a state that we may not sin against God, to have the Spirit, to be ' new born,' as well as we desire happiness, and exemption from misery. Balaam desired happiness, but he desired not the image of God upon his soul ; for then he would not have been carried with a covetous devil against all means. No ; his desire was after a glimpse of God's children's glory only.
A wicked man can never desire to be in heaven as he should be ; for how should we desire to be in heaven ? to be freed from sin, that we may praise God and love God ; that there may be no combat between the flesh and the spirit. Can he wish this ? No. His happiness is as a swine to wallow in the mire, and he desires to enjoy sensible delights. As for spiritual things, especially the image of God, and the vision of God, they are not fit objects for him, as far as it is a freedom from sin, but as he hath a conceit, oh they are goodly things to be seen, &c. So it corre- sponds with his disposition, but to be free from sin, and from the conflict of the flesh and spirit, and to be set at liberty to serve God alway, he cannot desire it so. Tell him of heaven, he loves it not. There is no gold, there is not that that he affects,* therefore he cares not for it, he cannot relish it, he is not changed. Therefore it is a notable character of a true Chris- tian to desire heaven, to be freed from sin, to have communion with God in holiness. Other prerogatives will follow this.
Let us therefore consider what our desires are, how they are carried, for desires discover what the soul is. As a spring is discovered by the vapours that are about it, so is this hidden state of the soul discovered by the breaking out of desires. They are the breath and vapour of the soul. Let us consider what is set highest in our souls, what we desire most of all. Oh, a Christian soul that hath ' tasted of the loving-kindness of the Lord,' accounts it ' better than life itself,' Ps. Ixiii. 3. It is not ' corn, and wine, and oil' he desires, 'but, Lord, shew me the light of thy countenance,' Ps. iv. 6. The desires of his heart are large to serve God, and to do good, more than for the things of the world. He desires earthly things, but as * That is, ' loves,' ' chooses.' — G.
12 Balaam's wish.
instruments for better things, and this is the desire of every sanctified soul in some measure.
Lot us hence make a use of conviction of the folly of base men, that live in the church, and yet come not so far as Balaam, that come not so far as those that shall }^o to holl. Tiiey turn over all relif^'ion to a ' Lord, have mercv upon us,' and ' Christ dioil for us,' and ' we hope we have souls to God-ward,' as good as the best, and to a few short broken things. They turn religion to compendiums, to a narrow compass, and make the way to it wide and broad, and complain of preachers that they straiten the way to heaven.
This is the disposition of worldlings ; whereas, alas ! there must be a righteousness that must ' exceed the righteousness of the Scribes and Pharisees,' iMat. v. 20 ; there must be a righteousness from an inward principle ; there must be a strong, constant desire of righteousness, more than of any thing in the world, before we can be assured of our interest and part with God's people. Let us take heed that we delude not ourselves this way.