As, namely, because it is an hard thing. For there is an affection of nature, and an affection of rebellion, and strong motions, that keep the soul in such a thraldom that it cannot fully know itself; and for a man to know all things, and not to know himself, what a miserable thing is it ! What! to look altogether abroad, and never to look at home, that is a misery of all miseries. Well, if ever we would be saved, we must do this. If we would begin with ourselves, we might put the devil and our tor- menting conscience out of office ; for the time will come when it will be objected. This and that have been our sins, and this is the state of your souls, will Satan say. Well, says the soul thus prepared, ' I know all this, I have accused myself before God for this, and I have made my peace with God.' But when we go on in sin, and leave all to God, then comes the devil and accuseth us, and our consciences take God's part; thus we go down to hell for ever. Therefore take warning of this betimes, and call thy soul to a reckoning. But I will not spend too much time to enforce this holy action. The way to bring our souls to this is, to furnish them with holy thoughts, to sanctify and season our judgments with holy touches, to know what is good, and to bring our souls to love and delight in it. But if we have not a judicature in us, we can never do this, for we must not go blindly about this work, but know what evil we have com- mitted, and which is done against this law, and which against that com- mandment. Thus a Christian must and will examine himself. But an ignorant person goes and never lays up anything in his soul ; and therefore though he hath power in his soul to do this, yet he doth it not, because he is an ignorant and blind man.
Use. Well, let this serve to stir us up to be careful in this holy duty.
Obj. But the hypocrite will say. Tush, this is hid, and the world sees it not; for me to take pains to work upon my soul, the world cannot see it; what profit comes by this course ? But the child of God is most busy and carefully employed about that which carries with itself least applause with the world. This is always a sure sign of a good heart ; for the best work of the new creature is within us, that the world cannot see. And therefore if ye will have sound assurance of salvation, then call often in question the
53 discouragement's recovery.
state of your own souls, and labour to get this disposition, and inquire of your souls what is the reason. Do you well to be angry ? What ! thus angry ? At this time, and upon this occasion ? And, what ! do you well to be merry thus now ? If we could do this, what an excellent state of soul should we live in ! It would clear religion of many scandals. For from whence comes all these scandalous actions we fall into, but because we do not check ourselves in evil things before they break out into our lives ? The soul many times doth rise in rebellious motions, and troubles the Spirit of God in us ; but what an honour is it to a Christion to be free from scandal in this life, and to suppress evil in the beginning ! There is nothing that is evil but it is first in thought, then in affection, and then in action ; therefore if we could think when we are tempted to any evil, this thing will be a scandal, it will be open in the mouths of wicked men, it will grieve the true-hearted servants of God, oh how glorious might the servants of God shine in these woeful, dark, and sinful days ! Weil, I beseech you, do but consider, and bring the practice and carriage of most men and women to this rule that I have laid down, and what a pitiful estate shall we find the most to be in, who would seem to be religious, whose lives declare this before men.
Do but ask a covetous man why he is so extremely carried away with the things of this world; he answers by and by. Oh, he hath a great charge, and the times are hard ; and in the mean time he neglects wholly the making sure of his own salvation. Nay, come to God's children themselves, who do too much hunt after the things of this world, I say to them, and sometimes ye shall hear the same answer, But what, have not ye a Father to provide for you ? and this your Father, hath he not all things at his own disposing — having promised, you shall want nothing that is good — even he who is an infinite, loving, and merciful Father ? I beseech you, consider what can we want, if we have faith to rely upon God ? And then consider how vile a thing covetousness is ; what for an old man now to be worldly, when one foot is in the grave ! So for a blasphemer to provoke the majesty of God, there is no reason to be given for it. For sin is an unreasonable thing, and it cannot endure this question. What reason is there for this and that ? Therefore the Scripture calls all wicked and ungodly men unreasonable men and fools, because they cannot give a good reason for anything they do. And therefore when they are in hell they may well say. We fools thought this and said thus. I beseech you, consider what reason is there that a man should sell God's favour, and the assurance of his salvation, for a wicked action, and for his lust, and for a little honour ; I say, consider what you shall get, and what you shall lose, even the hope of heaven, for the attaining at the best but of perishing things, and many times miss of them also.