328. There is in God a fatherly anger. After conversion he retains that ; and this fatherly anger is also turned away when in sincerity we humble ourselves. There is one saith well, ' A child of anger, and a child under anger' (fj. God's children are not children of wrath, but some- times they are under wrath, — when they do not carry themselves as sons, when they venture on sins against conscience, &c. But if they humble themselves and reform, and fly to God for mercy, then they come into favour again, and recover the right of sons.
829. We may know that God loves us, when by his Spirit he speaks friendly to our souls, and we by prayer speak friendly to him again ; when we have communion and familiarity with him. Whom God loves, to them he discovers his secrets, even such secrets as the soul never knew before. He reveals them to us when our hearts are wrought to an ingenuous con- fession of sin, and when we have no comfort but from heaven. Even as a father discovers his bowels most to his child when it is sick, so God reserves the discovery of his love, especially until such a time when we renounce all carnal confidence. Therefore if we can assure our souls that God loves us, let us then be at a point for anything that shall happen to us in this world, whether it be disgrace or contempt, or whatsoever, because we may fetch patience and contentedness from hence, that God's love sup- plies all wants whatsoever.
830. After a gi-acious pardon for sin, there are two things remaining in us, infirmities and weaknesses. Infirmities are corruptions stirred up,
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whicli hinders us from good, and puts us forward to evil. But yet they are so far resisted and subdued, that they break not forth into action. "Weakness is when we suffer an infirmity to break out for want of watch- fulness ; as if a man be subject to passion, when this is working disturbance in the mind, it is infirmity ; but when, for want of watchfulness, it breaks forth into action, then it is weakness. And these diseases are suffered in us, to put us in mind of the bitter root of sin ; for if we should not some- times break forth into sin, we should think that our nature were cured. Who would have thought that Moses, so meek a man, could have so broken out into passion ? We see it also in David, and Peter, and others ; and this is to shew that the corruption of nature in them was not fully healed. But there is this difference between the slips and falls of God's children and of other men. When other men fall, it settles them in their dregs ; but when God's children fall, they see their weaknesses, they see the bitter root of sin, and hate it the more, and are never at quiet till it be cast out by the strength of grace and repentance. Therefore let no man be too much cast down by his infirmities, so long as they are resisted, for from hence comes a fresh hatred of corruption ; and God looks not upon any sin but sin ungrieved for, unresisted ; otherwise God hath a holy end in suffer- ing sin to be in us, to keep us from worse things.
331. There is none that out of sincerity do give themselves to holy con- ference but are gainers by it. Many men ask questions, and are inquisitive to know, but not that they might put in practice. This is but a proud desire to taste of the tree of knowledge ; but the desire of true-affected Christians is to know that they might seek Christ. We gain oftentimes by discourse with those that are punies in religion. St Paul desires to meet with the Romans, though they were his converts, that he might be strengthened by their mutual faith, Rom. i. 12.
332. When once the Spirit doth fasten the wrath of God upon the con- science of one whom he means to save, then there follows these afflicting affections of grief and shame ; and from hence comes a dislike and hate of sin ; hence begins a divorce between the soul and the beloved sin ; so that whereas there was before a sceptre of sin in the soul, now God begins to dispossess that strong man, and then follows a strong desire to be better, and a holy desperation, that if God in Christ be not merciful, then the soul saith, What shall become of me I and as the Spirit lets in some terrors, so he lets in also some hopes, as, * What shall I do to be saved ?' implying a resignation of the will to take any course, so he may be saved ; and then all the world for one drop of mercy.
333. Christ never comes into any heart but where he is valued and esteemed ; yet he delights not to hide himself from his poor creature. But when we are fit, when we truly judge ourselves unworthy of any favour, then he receives us. Here is comfort, therefore, for the worst of men ; if they will come in, and submit to God's ordinances, they will be effectual to subdue our corruptions ; and when once God hath taken up the heart of man for his temple, he will then bring into it all his treasures. There will be a mutual fellowship between God and the soul when we are once subdued.