Again, he prizeth Christ at so high a rate, having forgiveness, that he will not part with him. The church saith, ' If she could get Christ, she would keep him in the chamber of her mother that brought her forth.' And when she hath him, what is her desire ? ' Set me as a seal upon thy hand : for love is strong as death, and jealousy is cruel as the grave. Much water cannot quench love,' Cant. viii. 6, 7. She so loves Christ now, that she will never part with him again, but will continue with him for ever. So we see Mat. xiii. 44, ' The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hid in a field ; which when a man hath found, he hides it, and for joy of it he departeth, sells all, and buys it.' When a man hath found Christ, and the benefit of remission of sins by Christ, there is nothing that shall answer Christ in the esteem of his soul. Thus faith works by love, love to Christ; as we see the apostle Paul, Philip, iii. 8, he accounts ' all things as dung in comparison of Christ, that he might be found in him, not having his own righteousness, but the righteousness of Christ.' So then thus we see every way there is an high esteem of Christ, a seek- ing of him till he bo found, and a keeping with him when a man hath gotten him, in prizing of Christ at a high rate, nothing in comparison of Christ ; this now is because he is convinced that there is a righteousness to be had in Christ, and a righteousness that can be had nowhere else but in Christ, and such a righteousness as can make him perfectly righteous. It is the great thing that he desires above all the world, and that is the second thing. The Spirit doth this ; as it draws, so it links a man to Christ.
3. There is a third thing, the conviction of judrpnent ; such judgment as wherein ' the prince of this world is judged.' That a man falls now in condemning the motions of sin in his heart, and to condemn himself for the actions of sin before. That you may understand these things clearly,
sin's antidote. 277
(1.) First, I say, a man condemns the actions of sin he hath committed he condemns them and himself for them. This disposition is in all those whom Christ receives to forgiveness, whom he forgives these sins. * Thou shalt judge thyself worthy to be cut ofi",' saith God, * when I will be recon- ciled to thee,' Jer. xxxvi. 3. When God will be reconciled to his people, this is one thing, they shall judge themselves worthy to be cut ofi" ; and therefore, 1 Cor. xi. 31, * if you would judge yourselves,' saith he, 'you should not be judged of the Lord.' So that this is that now which frees a man from the judgment of God ; when he begins with his own heart, and judgeth him- self for sin, he shall not be judged. It shall be judged once ; and if a man will not judge himself, God will judge him ; but if a man will judge himself, he shall not be judged of the Lord. Now, therefore, you have the convic- tion of judgment, when a man is now brought to judge himself, that is, to set himself against himself, as a judge sets himself against a malefactor : he arraigns him before him, he brings in evidence against him ; he lays upon him the sentence of the law, he condemns him, and takes order that execution be performed upon him. Thus it is when a man sets himself to judge himself: he arraigns himself, he sets himself to a serious considera- tion before the tribunal of Jesus Christ, who is the judge of the quick and the dead, to consider how the matter stands between God and him, and he brings in evidence against himself, the testimony of his own conscience, the witness of the law ; the books that shall be opened then are now opened to prevent that judgment. He looks upon the law, and it shews him what he should have done ; he looks upon his conscience, and that shews him what he hath done ; and, when he hath thus done, he comes to confess himself guilty ; he proceeds now upon this conviction to condemn himself, and to acknowledge that all the curses in the law are due to him, and he wonders that God should bear with such a one as he to live upon the face of the earth thus long ; he subsci'ibes to the righteous judgment of God, if he should cast him into hell for his sins, for he judgeth himself worthy to be cut ofi"; he extenuateth not any sin, he lessens not any sin that he hath committed ; he desires nothing so much as to feel the weight of it in his heart, that he may indeed see the ugliness of sin more and more, and be brought to be more out of love with it ; and thanks any man that will help him to aggravate his sins to himself, and to see the ugliness of them. When he hath done thus, he comes to execution, that is, he comes to that revenge upon himself ; there is an indignation against sin, and a revenge upon himself too, because of sin ; he judgeth himself unworthy of those liberties that he hath abused, and sometimes he ties and limits himself in those particulars, and denies himself of those things that by reason of his corruption he cannot tell how to use without sin ; or otherwise he takes revenge upon himself for particular ills. I say, thus a man judgeth him- self for his sins past. That is one thing.