Ohj. Ere I proceed, give me leave to answer one objection of a troubled soul, which may arise from hence : Oh, may one say, ' what comfort, then, may I have of the first work of the Spirit in me, for as yet I have found none of these things ? I have not been thus humbled, nor terrified,
THE WITNESS OF SALVATION. 375
nor had such experience, as you speak of, in that state under the spirit of bondage.'
Ans. I answer, This, though it be the work of the Spirit, yet it is not the principal, sanctifying, and saving work of the Spirit. Yea, a child of the devil may come to have a greater measure of this than God's own dear children, whom for the most part he will not afiright, torture, nor afflict in that terrible manner as he doth some of them ; but the consequent of this is more to be accounted of than the measure, to see whither that measure I have, whatsoever it be, leads me. For if the measure were so absolutely necessary to salvation, then all God's children should have enough of it ; for I make a difference still betwixt humiliation and humility, which is a grace of itself, and leads me along with comfort "and life. Thus, therefore, I think of humiliation. If I have so much of it as may bring me to see my danger, and run unto the medicine and city of refuge for help, to hate sin for the time to come, and set myself constantly in the way and prac- tice of holiness, it is sufficient. And so, I say, in the case of repentance. If a man could have a heart firmly set upon the sight of sin past, against all sin to come, the greater and firmer this were, the lesser measure of sorrow might suffice for sins past. As we see a wise father would never beat his child for faults past — he takes no delight in that but for preven- tion of what which is to come, for we see the child cries out in the time of correction, I will never do so more ! — so God deals with us. Because our promises and resolutions are faint, and fail, and that without much mourn- ing, humiliation, and stripes we attain not this hatred of sins past, and to have strength against them, therefore it is that the measure of our humi- liation and sorrow must be proportionable to that work which is to be done, otherwise any measure of it were sufficient which fits us. for the time to come.
I will add, there are indeed divers measures of it, according unto which the conscience is wounded. When there is a tough, melancholy humour, that the powers of the soul are distracted, good duties omitted, and the heart so much the more hardened; when upon this the Lord lets loose the bond of the conscience, oppressing the same with exceeding terrors and fears, this the Lord useth as a wedge to drive out a hard piece of wood to be cut. God then doth shew us, because we would not plough ourselves, we shall be ploughed : * If ye would judge yourselves,' saith the apostle, 'you should not be judged,' 1 Cor. si. 31. And therefore the church confesseth and complains, Ps. cxxix. 2, that ' the ploughers ploughed upon her back, and made deep furrows.' Why, how came this ? ' She did not plough up her own fallow ground.' Wherefore the Lord sent her other ploughers, that ploughed her soundly indeed. Wherefore doth God thus deal ? Because he is the great and most wise husbandman, who will not sow amongst thorns. Therefore when he is about to sow the seed of eternal life in the soul, which must take deep root and grow for ever, he will have that ground thoroughly ploughed.
The way, then, to avoid these things, so harsh and unpleasing to flesh and blood, is to take the rod betimes and beat ourselves. When we are slow, secure, and omit it, God doth the work ; yet he makes a difference of good education in those who have kept themselves from the common pollutions and gross sins of the time. It pleaseth God that faith comes upon them, they know not how for the time. Grace drops in by little and little, now a little and then a little by degrees. Sin is more and more hated, and the heart inflamed with a desire of good things in a con-
376 THE WITNESS OF SALVATION.
scionable life. But in a measure, I say, sucli must have had, or have, or shall have, fears or terrors, so much as may keep them from sin, to go on constantly in the ways of holiness ; or when they fly out of the way, they shall smart for it, and be whipped home again. Yet for the main they find themselves as it were in heaven, they know not how. But if a man have stuck deep and long in sin, he must look for a greater measure and more certain time of his efl'ectual calling. There must be haling and pulling of such a man out of the fire with violence. That man must not look for peace and comfort with ease. God will thunder and lighten in this man's conscience in mount Sinai ere he speak peace unto him in mount Sion.