^ I am in no doubt whatever of the loving intention of the Father to me. His very frail and wilful child. Sin and doubt and fear very often overcome me, and I know how little reason I give to others to be recognized as a Christian; but I do recognize Christ as my Lord and master, and would keep His will, if I could ; and though I go astray like a sheep that is lost, I do indeed know that my Shepherd follows me and seeks me ; I discern Him moving towards the dawn ; His hand guides me, puts aside the thorny branches through which I could not press, leads me beside the waters of comfort. I can dare to be joyful beneath His eye. I do not know what the end will be, or what eager energy of life lies beyond the dark river ; but I am redeemed and fed, and shall some day be satisfied ! *
» J. Stuart. " A. C. Beuson, Thy Rod and Thy Staff, 96.
SONG OF SONGS i. 7 455
3. In seeking the shepherd's fellowship, the heart can present a powerful plea. " Why should I be as one that is veiled " (or, possibly, " one that wanders ") " beside the flocks of thy companions ? " This image must be interpreted in the light of Oriental customs. The shepherds are often found in companies, and go forth from the city with their flocks massed together as if they formed but one. Then, when they are clear of the city, they take each a separate path, call their sheep after them, and go to their own pastures. There are, therefore, several flocks tended each by its own shepherd. But there is only one flock to which the Hebrew maiden could repair, one shepherd to whom she belonged ; and she desired to hear his voice and follow him. The flocks of his com- panions have necessarily to be regarded as alien and even rival flocks, with which she has no right to associate. Her question is, " Why should I be as one that turneth aside by these alien flocks ; asking for thee, as if I were a wanderer and a deserter ; under a temptation to desert thee, and to be seized upon as prey by others ? Tell me where thou feedest, that I may dwell with thee, and may be known as thine."
In actual life other lords than Christ claim to rule over us. There are rivals to His throne, usurpers of His honour, who promise to us pleasure and delight in the pursuits of sin and worldliness ; or assure us that we do not need the aid of Christ's mediatorial work and supernatural revelation ; that we cannot know God as He is here declared ; that we need only follow the guidance of reason and of common sense ; that science, philosophy, and political economy are adequate means of instruction, and set before us " the whole duty of man " ; that the idea of personal fellowship with God is a chimera ; that the aim of life is pleasure or profit, and that it is folly to spend our thought in care for the future. There are intellectual and social influences at work around us, some of them apparently harmless, which are profoundly hostile to the reign of Christ in our souls ; and we can be kept free from subjection to these only by living in the spirit of the prayer of our text, and having that prayer answered. We need the personal guidance of our Lord : " Why should I be as one that turneth aside ? " — not knowing where to find Thee, and being compelled to ask others, as perchance they reproach me, " Where is now thy God ? "
456 SEPARATED LOVERS
^ When Tigranes and his wife were both taken prisoners by Cyrus, Cyrus turning to Tigranes said, " What will you give for the liberation of your wife ? " and the king answered, " I love my wife so that I would cheerfully give up my life if she might be delivered from servitude " ; whereupon Cyrus said that if there was such love as that between them they might both go free. So when they were away and many were talking about the beauty and generosity of Cyrus, and especially about the beauty of his person, Tigranes, turning to his wife, asked her what she thought of Cyrus, and she answered that she saw nothing anywhere but in the face of the man who had said that he would die if she might only be released from servitude. " The beauty of the man," she said, " makes me forget all others." And verily we would say the same of Jesus. We would not decry the angels, nor think ill of the saints, but the beauties of that Man who gave His life for us are so great that they have eclipsed others, and our soul only wishes to see Him and not another.^
Long did I toil, and knew no earthly rest;
Far did I rove, and found no certain home: At last I sought them in His sheltering breast,
Who opes His arms, and bids the weary come. With Him I found a home, a rest divine; And I since then am His, and He is mine.