^ I read Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Tennyson, Coleridge, Philip Van Artevelde, for views of man to meditate upon, instead of theological caricatures of humanity; and I go out into the country to feel God ; dabble in chemistry, to feel awe of Him ; read the life of Christ, to understand, love, and adore Him ; and my experience is closing into this, that I turn with disgust from everything to Christ. I think I get glimpses into His mind, and I am sure that I love Him more and more. ... A sublime
^ C. Wordsworth, Primary Witness to the Truth of the Gospel, 166. ' Lord Bosebery, Napoleon, the Last Phase, 173.
456 THE INDIVIDUALITY OF DUTY
feeling of a Presence comes upon me at times, which makes inward solitariness a trifle to talk about.^
^ " As to what you may think of my beliefs I have no fear ; they need not be discussed and they cannot be attacked."
" But your church has its dogmas."
'* There is not a dogma of my church that I have ever thought of for a moment — or of any other church."
" How can you remain in your church without either believing or disbelieving its dogmas ? "
" My church is the altar of Christ and the House of God," replied Gabriella simply, " And so is any other church."
" And you believe in them all ? " he asked in wondering admira- tion. " I believe in them all." *
I have a life with Christ to live.
But, ere I live it, must I wait Till learning can clear answer give '
Of this and that book's date?
I have a life in Christ to live,
I have a death in Christ to die; —
And must I wait, till science give All doubts a full reply ?
Nay rather, while the sea of doubt Is raging wildly round about. Questioning of life and death and sin.
Let me but creep within Thy fold, 0 Christ, and at Thy feet
Take but the lowest seat. And hear Thine awful voice repeat In gentlest accents, heavenly sweet,
Come unto Me, and rest:
Believe Me, and be blest.*
(3) Then there are mysteries in the future that we should like to have cleared up. We should like to know the times and the seasons, and we are told that it is not for us to know the times and the seasons, which the Fatlier has placed in His own hands. There are many questions respecting the life to come that press for an answer, such as the nature of the punishment in reserve for the wicked, the occupation of the redeemed, the appearance of the
1 Life and Letters of F. W. Robertson, 162.
' James Lane Allen. » John Campbell Shairp.
ST. JOHN XXI. 22 457
Saviour, the recognition of friends, and the nature of the inter- course in the next life. Kegarding these questions, we are left in comparative ignorance, and so their solution cannot be of much practical importance. It is unimportant to know the nature of future punishment; but it is all-important to avoid it. It is unimportant to know the character of the heavenly state ; but it is all-important to prepare for it. It might satisfy our curiosity to know if there will be recognition of friends in the next life ; but it is of eternal moment to strive to enter in at the strait gate. A veil is drawn over these questions, and our prying into them can do no good. We have been told enough for the practical guidance of life, and whatever interferes with that should be let alone. What is it to us ? Let us use to the full the knowledge that Grod has given us respecting the duties of the present, and the mysteries of the future will be cleared up in due time. Let us act up to our present light, and when we are in a position to benefit by more, more will be given. Meanwhile, let our desire be to follow Jesus ; and as we follow Him the light will brighten, our vision will widen, until, amid clearer light than that of the sun, we shall read all mysteries plain, and know even as also we are known.
Tj The Archbishop was spending the day here, and preaching for me. After lunch we went into my study, and he let me talk to him. He was so exceedingly fatherly that day, that I was led on to talk to him about the great problems and mysteries of life, and told him of a certain matter which weighed upon me at times with an almost insupportable weight. It was connected with the hereafter. I may as well say it was the notion of endlessness of time. He listened patiently, and suggested certain lines of thought — and asked if I did not think Hegel's philosophy helped over such a matter.
Then I said, bluntly enough — " My Lord, have you never had any of these troubles ? Don't you ever feel the mystery of that other life ? "
He turned in his chair, put his hand up to his chin, looked at me a moment in his steady way, and then said — " Yes, I think I know what you mean. But I believe so entirely that God is my Father, and that He loves me, and that He will make me perfectly happy in the other life, that I never worry myself over what that life wiUbe."!