" Speaking of sins," said the friend, " there is a fault that I have often noticed in you."
And he told him of his fault.
" Liar ! " said the man, and smote him on the mouth.^
(2) Was it, then, ignorance of life, or of human nature, that led St. Paul so to speak of himself ? That was hardly possible. He lived when the world was at its worst. He had travelled and seen much. He had mixed with all sorts and conditions of men. He had known the chief priests and rabbis of Jerusalem, and the philosophers of heathendom ; he was acquainted with the slums of cities, and with the manners of coarse and brutal people ; he had lived in Eome when Nero was Emperor, Therefore we must conclude that he knew what he was saying when he described himself as " the chief of sinners."
^ A Greek fortune-teller was once reading Socrates's hands and face to discern his true character and to advertise the people of Athens of his real deserts. And as he went on he startled the whole assembly by pronouncing Socrates to be the most incontinent and libidinous man in all the city; the greatest extortioner and tliief ; and even worse things than all that. And when the enraged crowd were about to fall upon the soothsayer and tear him to pieces for saying such things about their greatest saint, Socrates himself came forward and restrained their anger and confessed openly and said, " Ye men of Athens, let this truth- speaking man alone, and do him no harm. He has said nothing amiss about me. For there is no man among you all who is by nature more disposed to all these evil things tlian I am." And with that he quieted and taught and solemnized the whole city.^
(3) It is a commonplace of religion that in proportion as a man is himself good, he is quick and severe in dealing with his own unrighteousness, and charitable towards other men; admitting air conceivable apology for them, "hoping all things, believing all things," in their exculpation, but condemning himself
^ Laura Richards, The Golden Windows. ^ Alexander Whyte, The Apostle Faul.
I TIMOTHY I. 15 95
without a hearing. And this fact, in the first place, must be taken into account in explaining St. Paul's words. His own sins were his immediate concern, on them the weight of God's law had first manifested itself in his conscience ; and in connexion with them, and not with the sins of other men, had God's holiness first revealed to him its reality, its penetrative truth, its power, its relation to human life. And it is so universally. Eor he who sees God, sees sin also. And though we know it cannot be true that each Christian is the chief of sinners, yet each Christian is again and again convinced — and not in moody hours, in which everything is seen distorted, but in his hours of clearest vision and most inspiring purpose — that no one can possibly be quite so bad as himself.
^ In the Christian life the sign of growing perfection is the growing consciousness of imperfection. A spot upon a clean palm is more conspicuous than a diffuse griminess over all the hand. One stain upon a white robe spoils it which would not be noticed upon one less lustrously clean. And so the more we grow towards God in Christ, and the more we appropriate and make our own His righteousness, the more we shall be conscious of our deficiencies, and the less we shall be prepared to assert virtues for ourselves.^
^ We cannot attain this virtue of humility except by true knowledge of ourselves, knowing our misery and frailty and sins ; wherefore we ought always to abide low and humble. But to abide wholly in such knowledge of one's self would not be good, because the soul would fall into weariness and confusion ; and from confusion it would fall into despair ; so the devil would like nothing better than to make us fall into confusion, to drive us afterward to despair. We ought then to abide in the knowledge of the goodness of God in Himself, perceiving that He has created us in His image and likeness, and re-created us in grace by the blood of His only-begotten Son, the sweet incarnate Lord; and reflecting how continually the goodness of God works in us. But see, that to abide entirely in this knowledge of God would not be good, because the soul would fall into presumption and pride. So it befits us to have one mixed with the other — that is, to abide in the holy knowledge of the goodness of God, and also in the knowledge of ourselves : and so shall we be humble, patient, and gentle.2
* A. Maclaren. 2 gt, Catherine of Siena.
96 A FAITHFUL SAYING
^ Mr. North on several occasions was at pains to explain the position he then occupied. " Don't think," he said, " that I am intruding into the office of the holy ministry. I am not an authorized preacher, but I'll tell you what I am; I am a man who has been at the brink of the bottomless pit and has looked in, and as I see many of you going down to that pit, I am here to * hollo ' you back, and warn you of your danger. I am here, also, as the chief of sinners, saved by grace, to tell you that the grace which has saved me can surely save you." ^