Thirdly, Unto those more general irregularities actual sins do succeed, — such, I mean, as are against the remaining light of nature, or committed in rebellion unto the dictates and guidance of our minds and consciences, the influence of those intelligences of moral good and evil which are inseparable from the faculties of our souls; for although in some they may be stifled and overborne, yet can they never be utterly obliterated or extinguished, but will accom- pany the nature of man unto eternity, even in that condition wherein they shall be of no other use but to add to and increase its misery. Amongst those we may call over one or two instances. Lying is such a sin, which the depravation of nature in youth is prone to exert itself by, and that on sundry reasons, not now to be inquired into : " They go astray from the womb, sj)eaking lies." The first in- ducement of our natuiip unto sin was by a lie, and we fell in Adam by giving credit thereunto ; and there is in every sin a particular lie.
CHAP. VI.] IN THE INSTANCE OF AUGUSTINE. 841
But sj^eaking falsely, contrary uuto what they know to be true, is that which children are prone unto, though some more than others, according as other vicious hal)its prevail in them, whose actings they foolishly think to thatch over and cover thereby. This that holy person whom we instance in acknowledgeth, and bewaileth in him- self: " Non videbam voraginem turpitudinis in quam projectus eram ab oculis tuis. Nam in illis jam quid me fcedius fuit, [ubi etiam talibus displicebam], fallendo innumerabilibus mendaciis, et paedagogum et magistros et parentes amore ludendi, studio spectandi nugatoria [et imitandi ludicra inquietudine?]" lib. i. cap. 19; — " I saw not (O God) into what a gulf of filth I was cast out from before thee ; for what was more filthy than I, whilst out of love of plays, and desire of looking after vanities, I deceived teachers and parents with innu- merable lies?" And this the good man was afterward exceedingly humbled for, and from it learned much of the vileness of his own nature. And we find by experience that a sense of this sin ofttimes accompanies the first real convictions that befall the souls of men ; for when they seriously reflect upon themselves, or do view them- selves in the glass of the law, they are not only sensible of the nature of this sin, but also how much they indulged themselves therein, partly whilst they remember how on the least occasions they were surprised into it, which yet they neglected to watch against, and partly understanding how sometimes they made it their business, by premeditated falsehoods, so to cover other sins as to escape rebuke and correction. The mention of these things will probably be enter- tained with contempt and scorn in this age, wherein the most jDrodi- gious wickednesses of men are made but a sport; but God, his holi- ness, and his truth, are still the same, whatever alterations there may be in the world. And the holy psalmist seems to have some reflec- tion on this vice of youth, when he prays that God would take from him the " Avay of lying." Of the same nature are those lesser thefts, in despoiling their parents and governors of such things as they are n^t allowed to take and make use of for themselves: "They rob their father or mother, and say. It is no transgression," Prov- xxviii. 24. So saith the same person, " Furta etiam faciebam de cellario parentum et de mensa, vel gula imperitante, vel ut haberem quod darem pueris, ludum suum mihi, quo pariter delectabantur tamen, vendentibus," lib. i. cap. 19. He sometimes stole from his parents, either to gratify his own sensual appetite, or to give unto his companions. In such instances doth original pravity exert itself in youth or childhood, and thereby both increase its own power and fortify the mind and the affections against the light and efficacy of conviction.
Fourthly, As men grow up in the state of nature, sin gets ground
342 THE MANNER OF CONVERSION EXPLAINED [EOOK III.
in them and upon them, subjectively and objectively. Concupiscence gets strength with age, and grows in violence as persons arrive to ability for its exercise ; the instruments of it, in the faculties of the soul, organs of the senses, and members of the body, growing every day more serviceable unto it, and more apt to receive impressions from it or to comply with its motions. Hence some charge the sins of youth on the heat of blood and the restlessness of the animal spirits, which prompt men unto irregularities and extravagancies; — but these are only vehicula concupiscentice, things which it makes use of to exert its poison by; for sin turns every thing in this state unto its own advantage, and abuseth even "the commandment'' itself, to " work in us all manner of concupiscence," Rom. vii. 8. Again, the objects of lust, by the occasions of life, are now multiplied. Temp- tations increase with years and the businesses of the world, but espe- cially by that corruption of conversation which is among the most. Hence sundry persons are in this part of their youth, one way or other, overtaken with some gross actual sin or sins. That all are not so is a mere effect of preventing grace, and not at all from them- selves. This the apostle respects in his charge, 2 Tim. ii. 22, " Flee youthful lusts;" such lusts as work effectually and prevail mightily in those that are young, if not subdued by the grace of God. And David, in a sense and from experience hereof, prays that God would not remember " the sins of his youth," Ps. xxv. 7. And a reflection from them is sometimes the torment of age, Job xx. 11: so he in whom we have chosen to exemplify the instances of such a course. He humbly confesseth unto God his falling into and being overtaken with great sins, such as fornication and uncleanness, in his younger days ; in the mire whereof he was long detained. To this purpose he discourseth at large, lib. ii. cap. 1-3. And of the reason of this his humble and public acknowledgment he gives this holy account: *' Neque enim tibi, Deus mens, sed apud te narro hsec generi meo, generi humane, quantulacunque ex particula incidere potest in istas meas literas. Et ut quid hoc? Ut videlicet ego et qu^squis hsec legit, cogitemus de quam profundo clamandum sit ad te," cap. 3; — "I declare these things, O my God, not unto thee, but before thee" (or in thy presence), " unto my own race, unto human kind, whatever portion thereof may fall on these writings of mine. And unto what end? Namely, that I and every one who shall read these things may consider out of what great depths we are to cry unto thee." So he, who lived not to see the days wherein humble confession of sin was made a matter of contempt and scorn.