To stagger, then, at the promise, is to take into consideration the promise itself, and withal, all the difficidties that lie in the way for the accomplishment of it, as to a man's o^vn particular, and then so to dispute it in his thoughts, as not fidly to cast it off, nor fiilly to close with it. For instance, the soul considers the promise of free grace in the blood of Jesus, — looks upon it, — weighs as well as it is able the tnxth of God, who makes the promise, with those other consider- ations which might lead the heart to rest finnly upon it ; but withal, takes into his thoughts his o^vn unworthiness, sinfulness, imbelief, hypocrisy, and the like, — which, as he supposes, powerfully stave off the efficacy of the promise from him. Hence he knows not what to conclude. If he add a grain of faith, the scale turns on the side of the promise ; the like quantity of unbelief makes it turn upon him ; and what to do he knows not; let go the promise he cannot, take fast hold he dares not; but here he staggers and wavers to and fro.
Thus the soul comes to be like Paul, in another case, Phil. L 23. He considered his own advantage on the one side by his dissolution, and the profit of the churches by his abiding in the flesh on the other; and taking in these various thoughts, he cries out he is in a strait; — ^he staggered, he was betwixt two, and knew not which to choose: or as David, 2 Sam. xxiv. 14, when he had a tender of seve- ral corrections made to him, says, " I am in a great strait;" — he sees evil in every one, and knows not which to choose.
A poor creature looking upon the i^romise sees, as he supposes, in a steadfast closing with the promise, that there lies presumption ; on the other hand, certain destruction if he beheves not. And now he staggers, — he is in a great strait: argimients arise on both sides, he knows not how to detennine them ; and so, hanging in susj^ense, he staggereth. Like a man travelling a journey, and meeting Anth two several paths that promise both fairly, and he knows not which is his proper way; he guesses, and guesses, and at length cries, "Well, I know not which of these ways I should go ; but this is certain, if I mistake, 1 am undone: I'll go in neither, but here I'll sit do^\^l, and not move one step in either of them, until some one come that can give me direction. The soul very frequently sits down in this hesi- tation, and refuses to stop one step forward, till God come mightily and lead out the spuit to the promise, or the devil turn it aside to unbelief
It is as a thing of small weight in the air: the weight that it hath carries it downwards ; and the air, Avith some breath of wind, bears it up again, so tliat it waves to and fro: sometimes it seems as though it
AND SINFULNESS OF STAGGERING. 219
would fall by its own weight ; and sometimes agaia, as though it would mount quite out of sight ; but poised between both, it tosseth up and do^vn, without any great gaining either way. The promise draws the soul upward, and the weight of its unbelief sinks it downward. Some- times the promise attracts so powerfully, you would think the heart quite drawn up into it; and sometimes again unbelief presses down, that you would think it gone for ever ; — but neither prevails utterly, the poor creature swags between both. This is to stagger. Like the two disciples going to Emmaus, Luke xxiv. 14, "They talked to- gether of the things that had happened," — debated the business; and, verse 21, they gave up the result of their thoughts. They " trusted it had been he that should have redeemed Israel." They trusted once ; but now, seeing him slain and crucified, they know not what to say to it. What then? do they quite give over all trusting in him? No, they cannot do so, verses 22-24. Certain women had astonished them, and affirmed that he was risen ; yea, and others also, going to his grave, found it so. Hereupon they have consTiltation within themselves, and are sad, verse 17; — that is, they staggered, they were in a stag- gering condition; much appears for them, something against them, — they know not what to do.
A poor soul, that hath been long perplexed in trouble and anxiety of mind, finds a sweet promise, — Christ in a promise suited to all his wants, coming \^dth mercy to pardon him, with love to embrace him, with blood to purge him, — and is raised up to roll himself in some measure upon this promise. On a sudden, terrors arise, temptations grow strong, new corruptions break out, — Christ in the promise dies to him, Chi'ist in the promise is slain, is in the grave as to him ; so that he can only sigh, and say, I trusted for deliverance by Christ, but now all is gone again; I have little or no hope, — Christ in the promise is slain to me. Wliat then? shall he give over? never more inquire after this buried Christ, but sit down in darkness and sorrow 1 No, he cannot do so : this morning some new arguments of Christ's appearance again upon the soul are made out ; Christ is not for ever lost to him. What does he, then ? Steadfastly beheve he cannot, — totally give over he will not ; he staggers, — he is full of self-consulta- tions, and is sad. This it is to stagger at the promise of God.