3. Through this affliction I have known experimentally in a higher degree than I knew it before, how, if obliged to refrain from active service, one can nevertheless as really and truly help the armies of Jesus, through secret prayer, as if one were actively engaged in the proclamation of the truth.--This point brings to my mind a truth, of which we all need to be reminded frequently, even this, that at all times, and under all circumstances, we may really and truly serve the Lord, and fight for His kingdom, by seeking to manifest His mind, and by giving ourselves to prayer.
4. Through the instrumentality of this affliction the Lord has been pleased to show me, how I may lay out myself more fully for His service in the proclamation of His truth; and, by His grace, if ever restored for active service, I purpose to practice what He has shown me.
5. Through being deprived so much from meeting with the brethren as I have been these thirteen weeks, I have learned somewhat more to value this privilege than I did before. For as my head has been much affected, even through one meeting on the Lords day, I have seen how highly I ought to have prized the days, when twice or thrice I could meet with the saints, without suffering from it.--Bear with me, brethren, when I beseech you, highly to esteem the opportunities of assembling yourselves together. Precede them with prayer; for only in as much as you do so, have you a right to expect a blessing from them. Seek to treasure up, not merely in your memory, but in your heart, the truths which you hear; for soon you may be deprived of these privileges, and soon you may be called upon to practice what you hear. Brethren, let us not learn the greatness of our privileges, by being deprived of them.--
I also delight in mentioning some of the particulars in which the Lords kindness to me has appeared in this affliction, and whereby He has shown, that He does not lay more on us, than is absolutely needful.
1. You know, that since May, 1836, I was able to walk but little. This infirmity the Lord entirely removed, just before I became afflicted in my head. This was exceedingly kind; for air and exercise are the only means, which almost immediately relieve my head. How much greater would have been the affliction, had I not been able to walk about in the air!-Truly, "He stayeth His rough wind, in the day of His east wind." I delight in pointing out the gentleness of the stroke.
Oxford, Feb. 7, 1838.
2. The Lord might have chosen to confine me to my bed, and kept me there in much pain these thirteen weeks, for the sake of teaching me the lessons which He purposes me to learn through this affliction; instead of this, the pain in my head has been so slight, that it would not be worth mentioning, were it not connected with a weakness of the mental faculties, which allows of but little exertion.
3. Further, it might have pleased the Lord to incapacitate me altogether for active service, but instead of this, He has still allowed me, in some small measure, to help by my judgment in some church matters, to write some letters in His service, to speak now and then a word to believers for the furtherance of their faith, and to confess His name repeatedly before unconverted persons, with whom I have met on my journeys. Besides all this, I have had strength for other work connected with the kingdom of Jesus Christ.