Let us pause here a few moments, beloved reader! Let us adore the Lords kindness! See how seasonably the Lord sends the help. As our need is, so He remembers us. It is not now and then that He is mindful of us, but continually. As surely as we stand in need of any thing, He sends it; be it money, provisions, clothes, or any thing else. We may be allowed to be poor, yea, very poor; we may have to pray again and again to our Father before the answer comes; we may be reduced so as to have from mal to meal to wait upon Him; yea, according to all outward appearance, the Lord may seem to have forgotten us:--but, amidst it all, as surely as we really need any thing, in His own time and way does He send help. Perhaps you may say; "But how would you do, in case there were a mealtime to come and you had no provisions for the children, or they really wanted clothes, and you had no money to procure them?" Our answer is, such a thing is impossible as long as the Lord shall give us grace to trust in Him, (for "whosoever believeth on Him shall not be ashamed,") and as long as He shall enable us to carry on the work in uprightness of heart. But should we be ever so left to ourselves as to forsake the Lord and trust in an arm of flesh, or should we regard iniquity in our heart i. e. wilfully and habitually do any thing, either in connexion with the work or otherwise, which is against the will of God, then we may pray and utter many words before Him, but He will not hear us, as it is written: "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me." Psalm lxvi. 18. I, therefore, beseech all who love our Lord Jesus and who may read this, to entreat Him on behalf of all of us who are engaged in this work, that He would be pleased to continue to give us faith, and that He would keep us from living in sin.
May 2. Nothing having come in for five days, we were today again penniless. In answer to prayer 5s. 6d. came in, and some trinkets were sent, the names of which the donor does not wish to be known. Thus we were helped through this day.--Observe here, how the Lord allowed five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real need, the stream runs again.
May 3. Today the Lord sent in again some money for the Orphans. He knew we were penniless, and therefore answered our requests. Besides 1l. 10s. for rent, there came in 1l. 1s. from London, and 2l. from the Isle of Wight.
May 4. By what came in yesterday, we were supplied for today; but the Lord sent today still more, as that which came in yesterday was only enough for today. There was given in money 7l., of which 3l. was the profit of the sale of ladies baskets, which are made by some sisters in the Lord for the benefit of the Orphans.
Last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first Lords day of this year came with his intended wife to Bethesda Chapel. Both were in an unconverted state. They both were at the same meeting, through what brother Craik said, made to feel the power of the truth, and, in consequence, were led to Jesus and found peace in Him, and are now both in communion with us.--The Lord still condescends to use us as instruments. Today we conversed with seven persons about fellowship, and had to send away five, being worn out after we had seen the seven, one after the other. Only since April 1st, forty-one persons have come to us to speak about their souls. May the Lord in mercy give us helpers in the work, for truly the harvest is great; and may not our ingratitude for His abundant blessing upon our labours oblige Him to shut up His hands from continuing to use us!
May 6th. This evening I received 10l. for the Orphans, and 10l. for the Infant-School, which we are on the point of opening. Before our little stock is quite exhausted, (for there is yet 2l. left for the Orphans) the Lord has thus kindly sent a fresh supply. Thus also my prayer is answered in being able to give to two of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses some money for their personal expenses.
May 8. There are four believers staying at my house, and today we had only a few shillings of our own money left. I gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for our own personal expenses. In answer to my request, I received this morning 5l.
May 10. Today five of the Orphans were received into fellowship and baptized. There are now fourteen of them in fellowship.