There was another thing of the same character, that is the kiss. In Germany, as on the Continent generally, the kiss is the sign of affection and familiarity among men as well as among females, and the brethren and sisters at Stuttgart always had been in the habit of kissing one another after having partaken of the Lords supper, that is all the brethren had kissed each other, and all the sisters had kissed each other. Now this again, if the result of real inward affection, and springing from the entering into our heavenly relationship and oneness in Christ Jesus, would be most beautiful, and would be the "holy kiss" of which the Apostle Paul speaks; but I had no reason to believe that this was generally the case among the brethren and sisters at Stuttgart, but rather that it was merely the result of custom and form, and that it was done because it was expected to be done, for it was the churchs order, after the Lords supper to kiss one another. It was on this ground that it seemed to me to be most pernicious; and I could have known how it would work, even though I had not been actually told, that sometimes sisters had stayed away from the Lords supper, because they did not feel comfortable in kissing all the female members of the church. When therefore I began to break bread with the brethren, after we had been separated by the close baptists, I did not kiss one brother after the breaking of bread; but I made a point of it to kiss every one of them on that very day at a later meeting, when I left them to go to my lodgings, in order that no one might be able to say it was pride or want of love in me that I had not kissed them. Thus I did on the second Lords day, and on the third. On the fourth Lords day a brother said, after the breaking of bread, Brethren shall we give one another the brotherly kiss, and I was then ready at once, like the rest, to kiss all the brethren; but the next time there was no kissing, and thus the mere cold form was banished, and every brother felt free to kiss another brother when his heart bade him to do so, without being bound to it by custom or form.
I have so circumstantially dwelt on these apparently little things, because I think them, in principle, matters of the deepest importance. Every thing that is a mere form, a mere habit and custom in divine things, is to be dreaded exceedingly: life, power, reality, this is what we have to aim after. Things should not result from without, but from within. The sort of clothes I wear, the kind of house I live in, the quality of the furniture I use, all such like things should not result from other persons doing so and so, or because it is customary among those brethren with whom I associate to live in such and such a simple, inexpensive, self-denying way; but whatever be done in these things, in the way of giving up, or self-denial, or deadness to the world, should result from the joy we have in God, from the knowledge of our being the children of God, from the entering into the preciousness of our future inheritance, etc. Far better that for the time being we stand still, and do not take the steps which we see others take, than that it is merely the force of example that leads us to do a thing, and afterwards it be regretted. Not that I mean in the least by this to imply we should continue to live in luxury, self-indulgence, and the like, whilst others are in great need; but we should begin the thing in a right way, i.e. aim after the right state of heart; begin inwardly instead of outwardly. If otherwise, it will not last. We shall look back, or even get into a worse state than we were before. But oh! how different if joy in God leads us to any little act of self denial. How gladly do we do it then! How great an honour then do we esteem it to be! How much does the heart then long to be able to do more for Him who has done so much for us! We are far then from looking down in proud self-complacency upon those who do not go as far as we do, but rather pray to the Lord, that He would be pleased to help our dear brethren and sisters forward, who may seem to us weak in any particular point; and we also are conscious to ourselves, that if we have a little more light or strength with reference to one point, other brethren may have more light or grace in other respects.