When a clergyman preaches, he is for the most part considered as doing that which all clergymen do, whether _good_ or _bad_. But if he is the same wise and virtuous man in his communication, that he is in the _pulpit_; if his speech be always _seasoned with salt_, that it may _minister grace unto the hearers_; if the _common_ actions of his life be visibly governed by a spirit of piety: such a one will be heard with reverence on the _Sunday_ for what he says and does all the week. And on the contrary, if a _clergyman_, when he comes out of the _pulpit_, is but like other men; as _irregular_ in his tempers; as _trifling_ in his conversation; as _eager_ in his diversions; and as _vain_ in his designs; he will mightily lessen his power over the hearts of his hearers.
A father now and then gives his son virtuous advice, and the son perhaps would be much the better for it; but that he never hears him talk virtuously, but when he is giving him advice; this makes him think, that he is then only acting the part of a _father_; as when he is buying him _cloaths_, or putting him out to an _employment_. Whereas if he saw his father’s _ordinary life_ and conversation to be under the rules of religion; and his every day temper, a temper of piety; ’tis very likely that he would be won into an imitation of it.
XXI. It is our communication, our _ordinary temper_ and _common life_, that affects other people, that either hardens them in sin, or awakens them to a sense of piety. Let therefore all _clergymen_, and _masters_ and _mistresses_ of families look carefully to themselves; let them consider, that if their _ordinary life_, their communication be _vain, impertinent_, and _unedifying_, they are not only in a corrupt state of heart, but are guilty of corrupting and perverting the hearts of those that belong to them. Let them not think that they have sufficiently discharged their duty, by seeing that those who relate to them, have their proper instructions; for it is next to impossible for such instructions to have their proper effect against the example of those we converse with. If a _clergyman plays_, and _drinks_, and _sports_ with his flock in the week days: let him not wonder if he preaches them asleep on _Sundays_. If a _father_ is _intemperate_; if he _swears_, and converses _foolishly_ with his friends; let him not wonder that his children cannot be made virtuous. It is therefore the necessary duty of all Christians, in all states of life, to look carefully to their _ordinary behaviour_, that it be not the means of poisoning and corrupting the hearts of those they converse with. They must consider, that all the follies and impertinences of their ordinary life and conversation have the guilt of destroying souls; and that the blood of those whom their follies have destroyed, will be required at their hands.
XXII. A mistress whose conversation is a daily proof to her _maids_, that she is governed by a spirit of piety in all she says and does: whose life is a continual visible labour to _work out her salvation with fear and trembling_, is a blessing to all that stand about her. She communicates happiness even to those who are born of her servants; they will be educated in piety, because their parents learnt what piety was in waiting on such a _mistress_.
XXIII. A good-natured, _drinking, sleeping, playing, swearing master_, is a curse to those who tend upon him; they are led into all irregularities, by following his steps, and are sent into the world hardened in follies, and insensible of religion, by having lived with such a _master_. This ought carefully to be considered by all Christians, as a mighty encouragement to strictness of behaviour; that as a _holy_ conversation intitles us to a reward for other peoples virtues; so an _evil communication_ makes us liable to a punishment for other mens sins. For we can neither live well nor ill to ourselves alone; but must of necessity do either good or harm to others by our manner of conversation. This is one great reason why a vain corrupt communication does so _grieve_ the Holy Spirit; because it is so infecting an evil, and does so corrupt the manners of those we converse with.