_Jan. 1, 1826._ Twelve or fourteen individuals were present at the Arabic service at Mr. Goodell's. After this service, we questioned Asaad closely with regard to the state of his heart, and were rather disappointed at the readiness, with which he replied, that he thought he was born again. For ourselves, we chose rather to suspend our opinion. He can hardly be supposed to have acquired yet, even _speculatively_, very clear notions of what is regeneration; and it would seem quite as consistent with christian humility, and with a true knowledge of his sinfulness, if he should speak of himself with more doubt and caution.
In the evening, an acquaintance of his, one who has heretofore expressed great friendship to him, and to us; who had said that there was no true religion to be found in the whole country, and pretended to lament very much that the patriarch and priests had so much sway; came to give Asaad a last serious admonition.
"This," said he, "is the last time I intend ever to say a word to you on the subject of religion. I wish, therefore, before you go any further, that you would pause and think whether you can meet all the reproach of the world, and all the opposition of the patriarch and priests."
Asaad replied, that he had made up his mind to meet all these things. "And now," said he, "if, as you say, you intend never to hold any more conversation with me on the subject of religion, I have one request to make of you, and that is, that you will go, and make the subject of religion a matter of serious prayer and inquiry, and see where the path of life is; I then leave you with your conscience and with God."
After relating the substance of this conversation to us, Asaad remarked, that these people reminded him of the late patriarch such an one, who had a moderate share of understanding, but was ambitious to appear very well. This patriarch had a bishop who was really an acute and learned man, and whose opinions were always received with the greatest deference on all matters relative to religion. The bishop being on a visit one day at the patriarch's, the latter called him to his presence, and proposed to him the interpretation of a passage of scripture. The bishop gave the explanation according to the best of his judgment. "No," said his holiness, "that is not the meaning of the passage;" and proposed to have a second. When the bishop had again given his opinions and reasons, the patriarch answered as before, "That is not the meaning of the passage." In a third and fourth case, the bishop was equally unfortunate, all his arguments being swept away by the single sage remark of his holiness, "That is not the meaning of the passage." At last the bishop, in a fit of discouragement, said, "Your holiness has put me upon the solution of a number of questions, in all which, it seems, I have been _wrong_. I would now thank your holiness to tell me what is _right_." The patriarch being startled at the new ground he was on, changed the conversation. "So," said Asaad, "these people can all tell me I am mistaken; but when I ask them what is _right_, they are silent."
Asaad has often remarked, that he is full of anxiety, and finds no rest for the sole of his foot. In many things he sees the Romish church to be wrong, and in some things he thinks _we_ are so. Our apparent tranquility of mind, as to our religious views, is a matter of surprise to him. This evening he conversed on the subject with more than usual feeling. "I seem," said he, "to be alone among men. There is nobody like me, and I please nobody. I am not quite in harmony with the English in my views, and therefore do not please _you_. My own countrymen are in so much error, I cannot please _them_. _God_ I have no reason to think I please; nor do I please _myself_. What shall I do?"