From this it is sufficiently obvious, that the way is very narrow for the flesh, which must remain here; this must be ventured, or one cannot be worthy of being a disciple of Christ.
But I trust that with Jacob we shall all desire the beautiful Rachel, namely, the kingdom of heaven, but this cannot be, we must first have Leah with her running eyes. For our trying, also the head was tried, who had done no sin; how then should not the members be tried? for then only he thoroughly sees whether a man fears, loves and trusts him from the heart; whether he does not love his life more than his salvation. Concerning this necessary trial to which many saints of God were subjected, we have many examples in the holy Scriptures; as Abel, Jacob, Moses, David, Job, the three young men in the furnace, Daniel, Susannah, the seven brothers with their mother, many prophets, apostles, and many saints after them, and also in my time.
Now it is my time, the Lord be praised, for I know that I am unworthy that I should place myself among this number; but the good, merciful God counts me worthy, to fulfill the number of the martyrs who rest in Christ, and are waiting for their number to be fulfilled by those who should also be slain as they, for the testimony of Christ which was in them, and is in me, through Christ; which Christ has always, from the beginning of the world, been despised, evil spoken of, and cast out. Therefore I suffer for a little while; otherwise there is nothing for them to take exception to in me; they know nothing evil to allege against me, the Lord be praised. Hence I suffer now with Christ, as a Christian, for well doing, that my faith may be found much more precious than gold which perisheth. Thus does God try his chosen; but in time of need he faithfully helps us; this (how wonderfully God works in his chosen) I have experienced in my distress. Yea, I have very great joy, that he has kept my lips from beginning to end, this alleviated my sufferings, when my filthy, stinking carcass (evil in its nature) was suffering, being suspended and scourged two different times; but now that it is over, I have joy in my heart. The first time that I was tortured, was the last Saturday in February; and the other the Wednesday after. But, dearest father and mother, be not dismayed on this account, but rejoice with me, that we have such a strong God, who so faithfully helps us; for he fights our battle, he will not let us be confounded. For, consider the ancient times, whether any one was ever confounded that trusted in him; for he hears, says David, the cry of the poor, and their heart is sure that his ears attend unto their prayer. Thus, firmly believe God’s word, and trust in him, and he will keep his promise; for this you must know, that though the outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. Moreover, our temporal affliction is brief and light; of this I can now write; and it works for us a far more exceeding weight of glory, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.
We endure the visible, and wait with joy for the invisible, eternal joy, in firm confidence and a living hope, which shall not make us ashamed.
Then shall they who were faithful unto death in the truth, confessed the name of Christ before the world, and put off the mortal clothing be crowned; these shall be honored by the young man, Christ Jesus, as Esdras testifies. 2 Esd. 2:43. Hence, I am of good cheer in the Lord, be also of good cheer. For when the suffering was over, I was as though I had had a fall: so that I can say, What is suffering when it is over? it is not to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18. O how joyful we shall be when we shall see that the children of God are such glorious kings, shining forth as the sun. Then shall the rulers of this world see whom they have pierced, whom they have mocked, despised and tortured; then they shall bewail it, but it shall then be too late. Hence I beseech you, be resigned, and thank the Lord, that you have raised such a son who is called to such a holy state.