But this cannot be, till in obedience to his call, _thou denied thyself, takest up thy daily cross, and followest him_. This is peremptory, it admits of no reserve, or evasion, it is the one way to Christ and eternal life. Be where thou wilt, either here, or at _Rome_, or _Geneva_, if thou livest to thine own will, to the pleasures of thy natural lust and appetites, senses and passions, and in conformity to the customs and spirit of this world, thou art dead while thou livest. Christ can profit thee nothing, thou art a stranger to all that is holy and heavenly, and incapable of finding the peace and joy of God. And thus thou art poor, and blind, and naked, and empty, and livest a miserable life in the vanity of time; whilst all the riches of eternity, the light and Spirit, the peace and joy of God are waiting for thee. And thus it will always be with thee, there is no remedy, go where thou wilt, do what thou wilt, all is shut up, there is no open door of salvation, no deliverance from thy corrupt nature, no overcoming of the world, no solid joy above, till dying to thyself and the world, thou turnest to the light, and Spirit, and power of God.
But thou wilt perhaps say, How shall I have these riches of eternity, this Spirit, and wisdom, and peace of God within me? Thy _first thought_ of repentance, or desiring of turning to God, is thy _first discovery_ of this light and Spirit of God. It is the voice and language of God, tho’ thou knowest it not. It is the bruiser of the serpent’s head, who is beginning to preach _within_ thee, what he first preached in public, saying, _Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand_. When, therefore but the smallest desire calleth thee towards God, give it time and leave to speak; and take care thou refuse not him that speaketh. For it is not an angel from heaven that speaketh to thee, but it is the eternal _word_ of God, that word which at first created thee, is thus beginning to call thee unto righteousness, that a new man may be formed in thee in the image and likeness of God. But above all things, beware of taking this desire of repentance, to be the effect of thy own natural sense and reason; for in so doing, thou shuttest the door against God, turnest away from him, and thy repentance (if thou hast any) will be only a vain unprofitable work of thy own hands, that will do thee no more good, than a well that is without water. But if thou takest this desire of turning to God, to be, as in truth it is, the _working_, _redeeming_ power of the holy Jesus, if thou dost reverence and adhere to it as such, this _faith will make thee whole_; and by thus believing in Christ, tho’ thou wert dead, yet shalt thou live.
Now all dependeth upon thy right submission and obedience to this speaking of God in thy soul. Therefore listen not to the suggestions of thy own reason, run not on in thy own will, but be humbly attentive to this new risen light within thee; open thy heart, thy eyes, and ears to all its impressions. Let it enlighten, teach, frighten, torment, judge, and condemn thee, as it pleaseth; turn not away from it, hear all it saith, seek for no relief out of it, consult not with flesh and blood, but with a heart full of resignation to God, pray only this prayer, that God’s kingdom may come, and his will be done in thy soul. Stand faithfully in this state of preparation, thus given up to the Spirit of God, and then the work of thy repentance will be wrought, and thou wilt soon find, that he that is in thee, is much greater than all that are against thee.
But that thou mayest be firmly assured, that this resignation to, and dependance upon the working of God’s Spirit, is right and sound, I shall lay before thee two fundamental truths.
_First_, That thro’ the whole nature of things, nothing can do, or be a real good to thy soul, but the _operation of God_ upon it.
_Secondly_, That all the dispensations of God from the fall of _Adam_, to the preaching of the gospel, were only for this one end, to prepare and dispose the soul for the operation of the Spirit of God upon it. These two great truths deeply apprehended, put the soul in its right state, in a continual dependance upon God, and a readiness to receive all good from him. They will keep thee safe from all errors, and false zeal in forms of religion, from a sectarian spirit, from bigotry and superstition; they will teach thee the true difference between the means and end of religion, and the regard thou shewest to the shell, will be only so far as the kernel is to be found in it.