_Monday 19._ All the day, my soul thirsted for the living God. I was transported, and exceedingly rejoiced in reading some divine meditations. O my God, What shall I say? Angels cannot praise thee worthily! What then shall I who am a worm of the earth do? O that I had wings like a dove? Lovely Jesus, when shall I see thy face, joining the rest of the redeemed, to celebrate the wonders of thy redeeming love! O that this were the moment! My soul shall ere long take its flight to the mansions, which I firmly believe my Saviour is preparing for me. O my God, my Saviour, my all!
“_Thursday 25._ I had but little light or power. The Lord humbled, and shewed me mine own weakness; but did not leave me to it. He shewed me clearly, that it was neither to my graces, humblings, desires, doings, or sufferings I must trust for happiness and salvation, but in Christ _alone_.”
“Ah, Lord, who is sufficient for these things! O let me die, that I may see thee! Whither is my beloved gone? Return Lord, return. I am a feeble and helpless creature. Yet rejoice not against me, O mine enemy; for though I fall into temptations, heaviness, and trials, I shall rise again. O proud _Philistines_, deceitful _Delilahs_, inbred sin, pride of heart, anger, and folly, who can remove you. Lord Jesus, thou canst, and thou alone.”
“At the sacrament, O how did my soul banquet in Jesus! What divine consolation did I feel in God my Saviour.”
“_Wednesday 23._ Tempted to laugh on my very knees, O Lord my God be my rock. Hide me in thy wounds, and deliver me from myself. O Jesus I cry out of the deeps, hear my prayer, and let my cry come up before thee!”
“Sure I am, that if my salvation depended on ought but the love of _God my Saviour_, I never should see the Lord. Alas I am all weakness, unbelief, disobedience, and darkness. My soul was weighed down with inbred sin. But I no sooner began to complain, and bewail myself before him, than he poured his love upon me, and gave me sweet access to him.”
“_1752. January 6._ I could hardly account to myself, how my thoughts had been employed this day. O that they were every moment taken up in the contemplation of thy wondrous love and compassion to me, and all the fallen race; O for an humble, lowly, simple, pure, and perfect mind! What shall I say to thee, thou delight of my heart? How much fairer art thou than the sons of men!”
*“When I look back upon my life I can see nothing that does not need to be washed with the blood of Christ. My best actions are imperfect I have need to fly to my Saviour, that from him I might receive that robe, which is pure and compleat. My whole desire is to be devoted to thee!”
“Ashamed, to lift my eyes up to heaven. I fell down before the Lord my maker; and I may well say that he waited to be gracious; for before I could utter many words his love filled my heart. I could then look up with confidence, and saw my Father God, smile upon me, and my dear Redeemer at his right hand full of grace and truth for _me_. O how sweetly did the ever blessed Trinity join to bless me! Help me to praise thee, O thou strength of _Israel_.”
“God was much with me in private. O what a heaven upon earth is it, to commune with him in prayer, holy reading, and divine meditation. Jesus is a well of life. How blessed is it to hold intimacy with him! This is _paradise_ indeed.”
“_Sunday._ It was a glorious sabbath to my soul.”
“Part of this day was the happiest I ever yet saw. I could freely depart to be with him whom my soul loveth. Truly I seemed to antedate the sweetness of the celestial felicity, which the glorified spirits enjoy above! My song was praises to my God.”
“Had calm repose in God. A day of sore temptation. I was kept, but thro’ momentary watching unto prayer. O what am I! How weak, how blind, how poor! As to _strength_, a bruised reed; for _love_ and _zeal_, as the ♦smoaking flax. But thou, O God, art strong, and in thee is my hope.”
♦ “somaking” replaced with “smoaking”
“Ill in body, dark in mind, dead in affections, and sorely troubled with temptations. Yet I was preserved from inclining to iniquity with my heart.”
“_Sunday._ My soul agonized to enter into the rest of the people of God. I saw him by faith, and the promises were strongly brought to my remembrance, especially, ‘Ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you.’”
“_1753. March 7._ In the morning there was an open intercourse between God and my soul, which for some hours remained undisturbed. About noon I felt sore war between nature and grace; so that I was brought low. Nature would have me manage for myself, grace was for casting all my care upon God. O thou author of every good gift, send me help from thy holy place to subdue the old man. Take away the perverseness of my own natural will, and make me lowly and patient as thou my Lord art. Thou art the source of grace and of goodness. In thee, O Lamb of God, is all I want.”