Let it be remarked, it was I _myself_, not the _people_, who chose these stewards, and appointed to each the distinct work wherein he was to help me, as long as I desired. And herein I began to exercise another sort of _power_, namely, that of appointing and removing stewards.
3. After a time a young man came, _T. Maxfield_, and said he desired to help me as a son in the gospel. Soon after came a second, _Thomas Richards_, and a third, _Thomas Westel_. These severally desired to serve me as sons, and to labour when and where I should direct. _Observe_, These likewise desired _me_, not I _them_. But I durst not refuse the assistance. And here commenced my _power_, to appoint each of these, _when_, _where_ and _how_ to labour; that is, while he chose to continue with me: for each had a power to go away when he pleased: as I had also to go away from them, or any of them, if I saw sufficient cause. The case continued the same, when the number of preachers increased. I had just the same power still, to appoint _when_, and _where_, and _how_ each should help me, and to tell any, if I saw cause, “I do not desire your help any longer.” On these terms, and no other, we joined at first: on these we continue joined. But they do me no favour in being directed by me. It is true, “My reward is with the Lord.” But at present I have nothing from it but trouble and care, and often a burden I scarce know how to bear.
4. In 1744 I wrote to several clergymen, and to all who then served me as sons in the gospel, desiring them to meet me in _London_, to give me their advice concerning the best method of carrying on the work of God. _They_ did not desire this meeting, but _I_ did, knowing that _in a multitude of counsellors there is safety_. And when their number increased, so that ♦it was neither needful nor convenient to invite them all, for several years I wrote to those with whom I desired to confer, and these only met at the place appointed; till at length I gave a general permission, that all who desired it might come.
♦ “is” replaced with “it”
_Observe_, I myself sent for these of my own free choice; and I sent for them to _advise_, not _govern_ me. Neither did I at any of those times divest myself of any part of that _power_ above described, which the providence of God had cast upon me, without any design or choice of mine.
_What is that power?_ It is a power of _admitting into_ and _excluding from_ the societies under my care; of choosing and removing _stewards_, of receiving or not receiving _helpers_; of appointing them _when_, _where_ and _how_ to help me; and of desiring any of them to meet me when I see good. And as it was merely in obedience to the providence of God, and for the good of the people, that I at first accepted this power, which I never sought, nay an hundred times laboured to throw off, so it is on the same considerations, not for profit, honour or pleasure, that I use it at this day.
5. But several gentlemen are much offended at my having _so much_ power. My answer to them is this.
I did not seek any part of this power: it came upon me unawares. But when it was come, not daring to bury that talent, I used it to the best of my judgment.
Yet I never was fond of it. I always did, and do now bear it as my burden: the burden which God lays upon me, and therefore I dare not yet lay it down.
But if you can tell me any one, or any five men, to whom I may transfer this burden, who _can_ and _will_ do just what I do now, I will heartily thank both them and you.
6. But some of our _helpers_ say, “This is _shackling freeborn Englishmen_;” and demand a _free conference_; that is, a meeting of all the preachers, wherein all things shall be determined by most votes.
I answer: it is possible after my death something of this kind may take place. But not while I live. To _me_ the preachers have engaged themselves to submit, to “serve me as _sons in the gospel_.” But they are not thus engaged to any man, or number of men besides. To _me_ the people in general will submit. But they will not yet submit to any other.
It is nonsense then to call my using _this power_, “Shackling freeborn _Englishmen_.” None needs to submit to it unless he _will_: so there is no shackling in the case. Every preacher, and every member, may leave me when he pleases. But while he chooses to stay, it is on the same terms that he joined me at first.
“But this is _arbitrary power_; this is no less than _making yourself a Pope_.”
If by _arbitrary_ power you mean a power which I exercise _single_, without any collegues therein, this is certainly true: but I see no hurt in it. _Arbitrary_ in this sense is a very harmless word. If you mean, _unjust_, _unreasonable_, or _tyrannical_, then it is not true.