Paul's conversion.
1 Tim. i. 16. For this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all long suffering, for a pat- tern to them ivhich should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting.
THE first question that should occur to our minds, is this, Have I obtained mercy ? If a favourable an- swer can be returned to that, we should inquire, In what manner, and for what ends, mercy has been shewn us ? There can be no doubt, but that if per- sons who are converted to God would frequently look back upon the state in which they were previous
2227.] Paul's conversion. 489
to their conversion, they would find the retrospect attended with the most beneficial consequences. Their recollection would furnish them with innumerable facts, which would tend to humble them in the dust, and to excite adoring thoughts of that grace which has so distinguished them. St. Paul appears to have taken peculiar pleasure in this exercise of mind. He embraces every opportunity to speak of his former hostility to Christ, in order to exalt to the uttermost the honour of that God, by whom he had been elected, redeemed, and sanctified. In the preceding verses he had expatiated on this painful subject : and now he improves it for the benefit of others.
In discoursing on his words, we shall notice,
I. The circumstances under which the Apostle ob- tained mercy —
If St. Paul had more to boast of than any, on ac- count of his birth, his education, his strictness, and his zeal, he had also more to be humbled for than almost any other person. For consider,
1. His ignorance of himself —
[He had been educated under the most celebrated teacher of his day, Gamaliel ; and had made a proficiency beyond any of his age. Yet, skilled as he was in Rabbinical learning, he was wholly ignorant of his own state and character. He knew not that he was a condemned sinner. He knew not the spi- rituality and extent of the law. He had no idea, that it re- quired perfect unsinning obedience, and consigned men over to perdition for one single offence, whether in thought, word, or deed. Through his ignorance of the law, he imagined him- self to be " alive," and entitled to everlasting life a. He more- over judged that he was practising all the moral duties, while he was destitute of almost every just sentiment-, or proper feeling. Instead of being humbled as a sinner in dust and ashes, he was lifted up with pride and self-conceit. Instead of being animated with love, and pity, and compassion, he was inflamed with a fiery and wrathful zeal. " He knew not at all what spirit he was of." In short, he was the very reverse of what he afterwards became.]
2. His enmity against Christ —
a Rom. vii. 9.