As to the particular instances, I would observe, 1. That with regard to my first journey to _Bristol_, you should in any wise have set down those words, that preface the scriptures there recited. “I was intreated, in the most pressing manner, to come to _Bristol_ without delay. This I was not at all forward to do: and perhaps a little the less inclined to it――――because of the remarkable scriptures which offered, as often as we enquired touching the consequence of this removal: though whether this was permitted only for the trial of our faith, God knoweth, and the event will shew.”――――From the scriptures afterwards recited, some inferred, that the event, they apprehended, was yet afar off.――――I infer nothing at all. I still know not how to judge; but leave the whole to God.――――* This only I know, that the continual expectation of death, was then an unspeakable blessing to me: that I did not dare, knowingly, to waste a moment, neither to throw away one desire on earthly things: those words being ever uppermost in my thoughts, and indeed frequently on my tongue,
E’er long, when sov’reign wisdom wills My soul an unknown path shall tread, Shall strangely leave, who strangely fills This frame, and waft me to the dead. O what is death? ’Tis life’s last shore, Where vanities are vain no more: Where all pursuits their goal obtain, And life is all re-touch’d again.――――
I observe, 2. That in two other of those instances, (_3 journal_ pages 12 and 14.) it is particularly mentioned, that “I was troubled;” and that by the seasonable application of those scriptures, that trouble was entirely removed. The same blessing I received (so I must term it still) from the words set down in the 88th page: and in a yet higher degree, from that exceeding, ♦apposite scripture mentioned in the 80th page of the last journal.
♦ “opposite” replaced with “apposite” per Errata
I observe, 3. That at the times to which your other citations refer, I was utterly uncertain how to act, in points of great importance, and such as required a speedy determination: and that by this means my uncertainty was removed, and I went on my way rejoicing, _Journal 3._ pages 12, 15. _Journal 4._ pages 27, 28.
My _own experience_ therefore, which you _think_ should _discourage me for the future_ from any thing of this kind, does on the contrary greatly encourage me herein; since I have found much benefit, and no inconvenience: unless perhaps this be one, that you _cannot acquit me of enthusiasm_: add, if you please, and presumption.
But you ask, _Has God ever commanded us to_ do _thus_? I believe he has neither commanded nor forbidden it in scripture. But then remember, _That scripture_ (to use the words which you cite, from _our learned and judicious_ Hooker) _is_ not _the only rule of all things, which in this life, may be done by men_――――All I affirm concerning this, is, _That it may be done_; and that I have in fact, received _assistance_ and _direction_ thereby.
4. I give the same answer to your assertion, (page 123.) that we are not ordered in scripture to decide any point in question by _lots_. You allow indeed, there are _instances of this in scripture_; but affirm, these _were miraculous: nor can we without presumption_ (a species of enthusiasm) _apply this method_. I want proof of this: bring one plain text of scripture, and I am satisfied.――――_This, I apprehend, you learned from the_ Moravians――――I did; though ’tis true, Mr. _Whitefield_ thought I went too far therein.――――_Instances of the same occur in your journals. I will mention only one. It being debated when you should go to_ Bristol, _you say, “We at length all agreed, to decide it by lot. And by this it was determined, I should go.”_ (Journal 3, page 28.) _Is this your way of carefully considering every step you take? Can there be greater rashness and extravagance? Reason is thus in a manner rendered useless: prudence is set aside, and affairs of moment left to be determined by chance!_ page 124.