Speak frankly, Sir, does this prove me guilty of _scepticism_, _infidelity_ or _atheism_? What else does it prove? Just nothing at all, but the “pertinacious confidence” of him that cites it.
25. You recite more at large one passage more. The whole paragraph stands thus.
¹“St. _Paul_ tells us, _the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, temperance_. Now although by the grace of God in Christ, I find a measure of some of these in myself, _viz._ of peace, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, temperance; yet others I find not. I cannot find in myself the love of God or of Christ. Hence my deadness and wanderings in public prayer. Hence it is, that even in the holy communion, I have rarely any more than a cold attention. Hence when I hear of the highest instance of God’s love, my heart is still senseless and unaffected. Yea, at this moment (_October 14, 1738_,) I feel no more love to him, than one I had never heard of.”
¹ 3 Journal, pages 11, 12.
To any who knew something of inward religion I should have observed, that this is what serious divines mean by _desertion_. But all expressions of this kind are jargon to you. So allowing it to be whatever you please, I ask only, do you know how long I continued in this state? How many years, months, weeks or days? If not, how can you infer, what my state of mind is now, from what it was above eleven years ago?
Sir, I do not tell you, or any man else, that “I cannot _now_ find the love of God in myself:” or that _now_, in the year 1751, “I rarely feel more than a cold attention in the holy communion.” So that your whole argument, built on this supposition, falls to the ground at once.
26. Sensible, I presume, of the weakness of this _reason_, you immediately apply to the _passions_, by that artful remark, “Observe, reader, this is the man, who charges _our religion_, as no better than the _Turkish pilgrimages to Mecca_, or the _Popish worship of our Lady of Loretto_!” _Our religion!_ How naturally will the reader suppose, that I fix the charge either on the _Protestant religion_ in general, or on that of the _church of England_ in particular? But how far is this from the truth?
My words concerning those who are commonly called religious, are, ¹“Wherein does their religion consist? In righteousness and true holiness? In love stronger than death? Fervent gratitude to God, and tender affection to all his creatures? Is their religion the religion of the heart? A renewal of the soul in the image of God? Do they resemble him they worship? Are they free from pride, from vanity, from malice, from envy? From ambition and avarice, from passion and lust, from every uneasy and unlovely temper? Alas! I fear neither they (the greater part at least) nor you have any more notion of this religion, than the peasant that holds the plow, of the religion of a _Gymnosophist_.”
¹ Farther Appeal, third Part, page 82.
“’Tis well if the _genuine religion_ of Christ, has any more alliance with what _you call religion_, than with the _Turkish_ pilgrimages to _Mecca_, or the _Popish_ worship of our lady of _Loretto_. Have not you substituted in the place of the religion of the heart, something (I do not say, equally _sinful_, but) equally vain and foreign to the worshipping of God in spirit and in truth? What else can be said even of prayer, public or private, in the manner wherein _you_ generally perform it? As a thing of _course_, running round and round, in the same dull track, without either the knowledge or the love of God? Without one heavenly _temper_, either attained or improved?”
Now, Sir, what room is there for your “_own exclamations_,” what sort of heavenly temper is his? How can he possibly, consistently with charity, call “this our _general_ performance?” Sir, I do not. I only appeal to the conscience of _you_ (and each particular reader) whether this is, or is not, the manner wherein _you_ (in the singular number) _generally_ perform public or private prayer. “How possibly, without being omniscient, can he affirm, that _we_ (I presume you mean all the members of our church) pray without one heavenly _temper_? Or know any thing at all of our _private devotions_? How monstrous is all this!” Recollect yourself, Sir. If your terror is real, you are more afraid than hurt. I do not affirm any such thing. I do not take upon me, to _know_, any thing at all of your _private devotions_. But I suppose, I may _inquire_, without offence, and beg _you_ seriously to examine yourself before God.
So you have brought no one proof, “That _scepticism_, _infidelity_ and _atheism_, are either _constituent parts_ or _genuine consequences_ of _Methodism_.” Therefore your florid declamation in the following pages, is intirely out of its place. And you might have spared yourself the trouble of _accounting_ for what has no being, but in your own imagination.