Perhaps you think that the preacher, or private admonisher, is too plain with you;[26] but you should consider that self-love is like to make you partial in your own cause, and therefore a more incapable judge than they. And you should consider that God hath commanded them to deal plainly, and told them that else the people's blood shall be required at their hands, Isa. lviii. 1; Ezek. xviii. And that God best knoweth what medicine and diet is fittest for your disease; and that the case is of such grand importance (whether you shall live in heaven or hell for ever?) that it is scarce possible for a minister to be too plain and serious with you: and that your disease is so obstinate, that gentler means have been too long frustrate, and therefore sharper must be tried; else why were you not converted by gentler dealing until now? If you fall down in a swoon, or be ready to be drowned, you will give leave to the standers-by to handle you a little more roughly than at another time, and will not bring your action against them for laying hands on you, or ruffling your silks or bravery; if your house be on fire, you will give men leave to speak in another manner, than when they modulate their voices into a civil and complimenting tone.
It may be you think that they are censorious in judging you to be unconverted, when you are not; and to be worse and in more danger than you are, and speaking harder of you than you deserve. But it is you that should be most suspicious of yourselves, and afraid in so great a matter of being deceived. A stander-by may see more than a player: I am sure he that is awake may know more of you, than you of yourselves when you are asleep.
But suppose it were as you imagine; it is his love that mistakingly attempteth your good: he intendeth you no harm: it is your salvation that he desireth; it is your damnation that he would prevent. You have cause to love him, and be thankful for his good-will, and not to be angry with him, and reproach him for his mistakes. He is none of those that brings you into the inquisition, and would fine, or imprison, or banish, or burn, or hang, or torment you, in order to convert and save you: the worst he doth, is but to speak those words, which, if true, you are deeply concerned to regard; and if mistaken, can do you no hurt, unless you are the cause yourself. If it be in public preaching, he speaketh generally by descriptions, and not by nomination; no more of you, than of others in your case; nor of you at all, if you are not in that case. If he speak privately to you, there is no witness but yourself; and therefore it is no matter of disgrace. Never, for shame, pretend that thou art willing to be converted and saved, when thou hatest those that would promote it; and art angry with every one that tells thee of thy case, and couldst find in thy heart to stop their mouths, or do them a mischief.
_Direct._ VIII. If thou art willing indeed to be converted, do thy best to discover that yet thou art unconverted, and in a lost and miserable state.
Who will endeavour to cure a disease which he thinks he hath not? or to vomit up the poison which he thinks he never took, or taketh to be no poison? or to come out of the ditch, that thinks he is not in it? or who will turn back again, that will not believe but he is in the right way? Who will labour to be converted, that thinks he is converted already? Or who will come to Christ as the physician of his soul, that thinks he is not sick, or is cured already? The common cause that men live and die without the grace of repentance, sanctification, and justification, which should save them, is because they will not believe but that they have it, when they have it not; and that they are penitent, and justified, and sanctified already. It is not my desire to make any of you think worse of your condition than it is; but if you will not know what it is, you will not be fit for recovering grace, nor use the means for your own recovery: you think it is so sad a conclusion, to find yourselves in a state of condemnation, that you are exceeding unwilling to know it or confess it.