And your familiar companions have great advantage to help or hinder your salvation, as well as your teachers.[71] The matter is not so great, whom you meet by the way, or travel with, or trade and buy and sell with, as whom you make your intimate or familiar friends. For such have both the advantage of their interest in your affections, and also the advantage of their nearness and familiarity; and, if they have but also the advantage of higher abilities than you, they may be powerful instruments of your good or hurt. If you have a familiar friend, that will defend you from error, and help you against temptations, and lovingly reprove your sin, and feelingly speak of God, and the life to come, inditing his discourse from the inward power of faith, and love, and holy experience; the benefit of such a friend may be more to you, than of the learnedest or greatest in the world. How sweetly will their speeches relish of the Spirit, from which they come! How deeply may they pierce a careless heart! How powerfully may they kindle in you a love and zeal to God and his commandments! How seasonably may they discover a temptation, prevent your fall, reprove an error, and recover your souls! How faithfully will they watch over you! How profitably will they provoke, and put you on; and pray with you fervently when you are cold; and mind you of the truth, and duty, and mercy, which you forget! It is a very great mercy to have a judicious, solid, faithful companion in the way to heaven.
But if your ears are daily filled with froth and folly, with ribaldry or idle stories, with oaths and curses, with furious words or scorns and jeers against the godly, or with the sophistry of deceivers, is it likely this should leave a pleasant or wholesome relish on your minds? Is it likely that the effect should not be seen, in your lean or leprous hearts and lives, as well as the effects of an infected or unwholesome air or diet will be seen upon your diseased bodies? He is ungodly, that liketh such company best: and he is proud and presumptuous, that will unnecessarily cast himself upon it, in confidence that he shall receive no hurt: and he is careless of himself, that will not cautiously avoid it: and few that long converse with such, come off without some notable loss; except when we live with such, as Lot did in Sodom, grieving for their sin and misery, or as Christ conversed with publicans and sinners, with a holy zeal and diligence to convert and save them, or as those that have not liberty, who bear that which they have not power to avoid.
Among the rest, your danger is not least from them that are eager to proselyte you to some party or unsound opinion: that they think they are in the right, and that they do it in love, and that they think it necessary to your salvation, and that truth or godliness are the things which they profess, all this makes the danger much the greater to you, if it be not truth and godliness indeed, which they propose and plead for. And none are in more danger than the ungrounded and unexperienced, that yet are so wise in their own esteem, as to be confident that they know truth from error when they hear it, and are not afraid of any deceit, nor much suspicious of their own understandings. But of this before.
The like danger there is of the familiar company of lukewarm ones, or the profane.[72] At first you may be troubled at their sinful or unsavoury discourse, and make some resistance against the infection; but before you are aware, it may so cool and damp your graces, as will make your decay discernible to others. First, you will hear them with less offence; and then you will grow indifferent what company you are in; and then you will laugh at their sin and folly; and then you will begin to speak as they; and then you will grow cold and seldomer in prayer and other holy duties; and if God prevent it not, at last your judgments will grow blind, and you will think all this allowable.
But of all bad company, the nearest is the worst. If you choose such into your families, or into your nearest conjugal relations, you cast water upon the fire; you imprison yourselves in such fetters as will gall and grieve you, if they do not stop you; you choose a life of constant, close, and great temptations: whereas, your grace, and comfort, and salvation, might be much promoted by the society of such as are wise and gracious, and suitable to your state. To have a constant companion to open your heart to, and join with in prayer, and edifying conference, and faithfully help you against your sins, and yet to be patient with you in your frailties, is a mercy which worldlings neither deserve nor value.