_Answ._ 1. Though I am not come to the point of trying and discerning grace, I shall give you this much help in the way, because it is so useful to the exercises of love. (1.) If you have not enjoying, delighting love, yet try whether you have not desiring, seeking love. Love appeareth as truly in desiring and seeking good as in delighting in it. Poor men show their love of the world, by desiring and seeking it, as much as rich men do in delighting in it. What is it that you most desire and seek? (2.) Or if this be so weak that you scarce discern it, do you not find a mourning and lamenting love? You show that you loved your money, by mourning when you lose it; and that you loved your friend by grieving for his death, as well as by delighting in him while he lived. If you heartily lament it as your greatest unhappiness and loss, when you think that God doth cast you off, and that you are void of grace, and cannot serve and honour him as you would, this shows you are not void of love. (3.) If you feel not that you love him, do you feel that you would fain love him, and that you love to love him? If you do so, it is a sign that you do love him? When you do not only desire to find such an evidence of salvation in you, but when you desire love itself, and love to love God. Had you not rather have a heart to love him perfectly, than to have all the riches in the world? Had you not rather live in the love of God, if you could reach it, than to live in any earthly pleasure? If so, be sure he hath your hearts. The will is the love, and the heart; if God have your will he hath your heart and love. (4.) What hath your hearts if he have them not? Is there any thing that you prefer and seek before him, and that you had rather have than him? Can you be content without him, and let him go, in exchange for any earthly pleasure? If not, it is a sign he hath your hearts. You love him savingly if you set more by nothing else than by him. (5.) Do you love his holy image in his word? Do you delight and meditate in his law? Psal. i. 2. Is it in your hearts? Psal. xl. 8. Or do you pray, "Incline my heart unto thy testimonies?" Psal. cxix. 36. If you love God's image in his word, (the wisdom and holiness of it,) you love God. (6.) Do you love his image on his children? If you love them for their heavenly wisdom and holiness, you so far love God. He that loveth the candle for its light, doth love the light itself and the sun: he that loveth the wise and holy, for their wisdom and holiness, doth love wisdom and holiness themselves. The word and the saints being more in the reach of our sensible apprehensions, than God himself is, we ordinarily feel our love to them, more sensibly than our love to God; when indeed it is God, in his word and servants, that we love, 1 John iii. 14; Psal. xv. 4. (7.) Though for want of assurance you feel not the delights of love, have you not a heart that would delight in it, more than in all the riches of the world, if you could but get assurance of your interest? Would it not comfort you more than any thing, if you could be sure he loveth you, and could perfectly love him and obey him? If so, it is not for want of love that you delight not in him, but for want of assurance. So that if God have thy heart, either in a delighting love, or a seeking and desiring, or a lamenting, mourning love, he will not despise it or reject it. "He is nigh to them that be of a broken heart," Psal. xxxiv. 18. "A broken and contrite heart is his sacrifice, which he will not despise," Psal. li. 17. The "good Lord will have mercy on every one that prepareth their hearts to seek him, though they do it not according to the preparation of the sanctuary," 2 Chron. xxx. 18, 19. By these evidences, you may discern the sincerity of love in small degrees: and so you may make love the occasion of more love, by discerning that goodness of God which is manifested to you in the least.
2. But suppose you cannot yet attain assurance; neglect not to improve that goodness and mercy of God which he revealeth to you in the state that you are in. Love him, but as Infinite Goodness should be loved, who "so loved the world as to give his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life," John iii. 16. Love him, as the most blessed and merciful God, who made you and all things, and hath given to the world a universal pardon, on condition of their penitent acceptance, and offereth them everlasting life, and all this purchased by the blood of Christ. Love him, as one that offereth you reconciliation, and entreateth you to be saved: and as one that delighteth not in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn and live: and as one that would have all men to be saved, and come to the knowledge of the truth, though he will save none but the penitent, that do acknowledge the truth. And when you love him sincerely on these accounts, you will have the evidence of his special love to you.