_Direct._ VIII. Be not a stranger to the many sins, and wants, and weaknesses of thy soul, and thou never needest to be empty of matter for thy meditations. And though these thoughts be not the sweetest, yet thy own folly hath made them necessary. If thou be dangerously sick, or but painfully sore, thou canst scarce forget it: if poverty afflict thee with pinching wants, thy thoughts are taken up with cares and trouble day and night. If another wrong thee, thou canst easily think on it. And hast thou so often wronged thy God and Saviour, and so unkindly vilified his mercy, and so unthankfully set light by saving grace, and so presumptuously and securely ventured on his wrath, and yet dost thou find a scarcity of matter for thy meditations? Hast thou all the sins of thy youth and ignorance to think on, and all the sins of thy rashness and sensuality, and of thy negligence and sloth, and of thy worldliness and selfishness, ambition and pride, thy passions and thy omissions, and all thy sinful thoughts and words, and yet art thou scanted of matter for thy thoughts? Dost thou carry about thee such a body of death? so much selfishness, pride, worldliness, and carnality; so much ignorance, unbelief, averseness to God, and backwardness to all that is spiritual and holy; so much passion, and readiness to sin; and yet dost thou not find enough to think on? Look over the sins of all thy life: see them in all their aggravations; as they have been committed against knowledge, or means and helps, against mercies and judgments, and thy own vows or promises; in prosperity and under affliction itself; in secret and with others; in thy general and particular calling, and in all thy relations; in every place, and time, and condition that thou hast lived in; thy sins against God directly, and thy injuries or neglects of man: sins against holy duties, and sins in holy duties; in prayer, hearing, reading, sacraments, meditation, conference, reproofs, and receiving of reproofs from others: thy negligent preparations for death and judgment; the strangeness of thy soul to God and heaven.[305]--Is not here work enough for thy meditations? certainly if thou think so, it is because thy heart never felt the bitterness of sin, nor was ever yet acquainted with true repentance; but the time is yet to come, that light must show thee what sin is, and what thou art, and what thou hast done, and how full thy heart is of the serpent's brood, and that thy sin must find thee out! Dost thou not know that thy sins are as the sands of the shore, or as the hairs upon thy head for number? and that every sin hath deadly poison in it, and malignant enmity to God and holiness; and yet are they not enough to keep thy thoughts from being idle? Judge by their language whether it be so with penitents: Psal. li. 2, 3, "Wash me throughly from my wickedness, and cleanse me from my sin; for I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me." Psal. xl. 12, "For innumerable evils have compassed me about; mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up: they are more than the hairs of my head: therefore my heart faileth me." Psal. cxix. 57, "I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies." True repentance is thus described: Ezek. xxxvi. 31, "Then shall ye remember your own evil ways, and your doings that were not good, and shall loathe yourselves in your own sight, for your own iniquities, and for your abominations." Yea, God's forgiving and forgetting your sins, must not make you forget them. Ezek. xvi. 60-63, "I will establish to thee an everlasting covenant; then shalt thou remember thy ways and be ashamed. And I will establish my covenant with thee; that thou mayst remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame, when I am pacified towards thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord God of hosts."
[Sidenote: Satan's temptations.]