12. Lastly, Thou sinnest not alone, but temptest others with thee to perdition. It is the great crime of Jeroboam that he made Israel to sin. The judgment of God determineth those men to death, that not only do wickedness, "but have pleasure in them that do it," Rom. i. 32. And is not this thy case? Art thou not Satan's instrument to tempt others with thee to waste their time, and neglect their souls, and abuse God and his creatures? Yea, some of you glory in your shame, that you have drunk down your companions, and carried it away (the honour of a sponge or a tub, which can drink up or hold liquor as well as you). And what is that man worthy of, that would thus transform himself and others into such monsters of iniquity?
IV. Next let us hear the drunkard's excuses (for even drunkenness will pretend to reason, and men will not make themselves mad without an argument to justify it). I. Saith the tippler, I take no more than doth me good: you allow a man to eat as much as doth him good, and why not to drink as much? No man is fitter to judge this than I, for I am sure I feel it do me good.
_Answ._ What good dost thou mean, man? Doth it fit thee for holy thoughts, or words, or deeds? Doth it help thee to live well, or fit thee to die well? Art thou sure that it tendeth to the health of thy body? Thou canst not so say without the imputation of folly or self-conceitedness, when all the wise physicians in the world do hold the contrary. No, it doth as gluttony doth; it pleaseth thee in the drinking, but it filleth thy body with crudities and phlegm, and prepareth for many mortal sicknesses: it maketh thy body like grounds after a flood, that are covered with stinking slime; or like fenny lands that are drowned in water, and bear no fruit; or like grounds that have too much rain, that are dissolved to dirt, but are unfit for use. It maketh thee like a leaking ship, that must be pumped and emptied, or it will sink; if thou have not vomits or purges to empty thee, thou wilt quickly drown or suffocate thy life. As Basil saith, a drunkard is like a ship in a tempest, when all the goods are cast overboard to disburden it lest it sink. Physicians must pump thee, or disburden thee, or thou wilt be drowned; and all will not serve if thou hold on to fill it up again; for intemperance maketh most diseases uncurable. An historian speaketh of two physicians that differed in their prognostics about a patient; one forsook him as uncurable; the other undertook him as certainly curable; but when he came to his remedies, he prescribed him so strict abstinence as he would not undergo: and so they agreed in the issue; when one judged him uncurable because intemperate, and the other curable if he would be temperate. Thou that feelest the drink do thee good, dost little think how the devil hath a design in it, not only to have thy soul, but to have it quickly; that the mud-walls of thy body being washed down may not hold it long. And I must tell thee that thou hast cause to value a good physician for greater reasons than thy life, and art more beholden to him than many others; even that he may help to keep thy soul out of hell a little longer, to see "if God will give thee repentance," that thou "mayst escape out of the snare of the devil, who taketh thee captive at his will," 2 Tim. ii. 25, 26. As Ælian writeth of king Antigonus, that having great respect for Zeno the philosopher, he once met him when he was in drink, and embracing him, urged him to ask of him what he would, and bound himself with many oaths to give it him. Zeno thanked him, and the request he made to him was, that he would go home and vomit. To tell him that he more needed to be disburdened of his drink, than he himself did need his gifts. The truth is, the good that thou feelest the drink do thee is but the present pleasing of thy appetite, and tickling thy fantasy by the exhilarating vapours: and so the glutton, and the whoremonger, and every sensual wretch will say, that he feeleth it do him good; but God bless all sober men from such a good. So the gamester feeleth the sport do him good; but perhaps he is quickly made a beggar by it. It is reason and faith, and not thy appetite or present feeling, that must tell thee what and how much doth thee good.
_Object._ II. But I have heard some physicians say, that it is wholesome to be drunk sometimes.