_May 29._--He this day wrote very faithfully, yet very kindly, to one who seemed to him not a believer, and who nevertheless appropriated to herself the _promises_ of God. "If you are wholly unassured of your being a believer, is it not a contradiction in terms to say, that you are sure the believers' promises belong to you? Are you _an assured believer_? If so, rejoice in your heirship; and yet rejoice with trembling; for that is the very character of God's heirs. But are you _unassured_--nay, _wholly unassured_? then what mad presumption to say to your soul, that these promises, being in the Bible, must belong indiscriminately to all! It is too gross a contradiction for you to compass, except in word." He then shows that _Christ's free offer_ must be accepted by the sinner, and so the _promises_ become his. "This sinner complies with the call or offer, 'Come unto me;' and thereafter, but not before, can claim the annexed _promise_ as his: 'I will give thee rest.'"
"_Aug. 14._--Partial fast, and seeking God's face by prayer. This day thirty years, my late dear brother was born. Oh for more love, and then will come more peace!" That same evening he wrote the hymn, "_The Barren Fig-tree_."
"_Oct. 17._--Private meditation exchanged for conversation. Here is the root of the evil,--forsake God, and He forsakes us."
Some evening this month he had been reading _Baxter's Call to the Unconverted_. Deeply impressed with the affectionate and awfully solemn urgency of the man of God, he wrote--
Though Baxter's lips have long in silence hung, And death long hush'd that sinner-wakening tongue, Yet still, though dead, he speaks aloud to all, And from the grave still issues forth his "Call:" Like some loud angel-voice from Zion hill, The mighty echo rolls and rumbles still. Oh grant that we, when sleeping in the dust, May thus speak forth the wisdom of the just!
Mr. M'Cheyne was peculiarly subject to attacks of fever, and by one of these was he laid down on a sick-bed on November 15th. However, this attack was of short duration. On the 21st he writes: "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Learned more and more of the value of _Jehovah Tzidkenu_." He had, three days before, written his well-known hymn, "_I once was a stranger_," etc., entitled _Jehovah Tzidkenu, the Watchword of the Reformers_. It was the fruit of a slight illness which had tried his soul, by setting it more immediately in view of the judgment-seat of Christ; and the hymn which he so sweetly sung reveals the sure and solid confidence of his soul. In reference to that same illness, he seems to have penned the following lines. November 24th:--
He tenderly binds up the broken in heart, The soul bowed down He will raise: For mourning, the ointment of joy will impart: For heaviness, garments of praise.
Ah, come, then, and sing to the praise of our God, Who giveth and taketh away; Who first by his kindness, and then by his rod, Would teach us, poor sinners, to pray.
For in the assembly of Jesus' first-born, Who anthems of gratitude raise, Each heart has by great tribulation been torn, Each voice turned from wailing to praise.
"_Nov. 9._--Heard of Edward Irving's death. I look back upon him with awe, as on the saints and martyrs of old. A holy man in spite of all his delusions and errors. He is now with his God and Saviour, whom he wronged so much, yet, I am persuaded, loved so sincerely. How should we lean for wisdom, not on ourselves, but on the God of all grace!"
"_Nov. 21._--If nothing else will do to sever me from my sins, Lord send me such sore and trying calamities as shall awake me from earthly slumbers. It must always be best to be alive to Thee, whatever be the quickening instrument. I tremble as I write, for oh! on every hand do I see too likely occasions for sore afflictions."
"_Feb._ 15, 1835.--To-morrow I undergo my trials before the Presbytery. May God give me courage in the hour of need. What should I fear? If God see meet to put me into the ministry, who shall keep me back? If I be not meet, why should I be thrust forward? To thy service I desire to dedicate myself over and over again."
"_March 1._--Bodily service. What change is there in the heart! Wild, earthly affections there are here; strong, coarse passions; bands both of iron and silk. But I thank Thee, O my God, that they make me cry, 'Oh wretched man!' Bodily weakness, too, depresses me."
"_March 29._--College finished on Friday last. My last appearance there. Life itself is vanishing fast. Make haste for eternity."
In such records as these, we read God's dealings with his soul up to the time when he was licensed to preach the gospel. His preparatory discipline, both of heart and of intellect, had been directed by the Great Head of the Church in a way that remarkably qualified him for the work he was to perform in the vineyard.