He was never satisfied with his own attainments in holiness; he was ever ready to learn, and quick to apply, any suggestion that might tend to his greater usefulness. About this period he used to sing a psalm or hymn every day after dinner. It was often, "The Lord's my shepherd," etc.; or, "Oh may we stand before the Lamb!" etc. Sometimes it was that hymn, _Oh for a closer walk with God!_ and sometimes the psalm, "Oh that I like a dove had wings!" etc. A friend said of him. "I have sometimes compared him to the silver and graceful ash, with its pensile branches, and leaves of gentle green, reflecting gleams of happy sunshine. The fall of its leaf, too, is like the fall of his,--it is green to-night and gone to-morrow, it does not sere nor wither."
An experienced servant of God has said, that, while popularity is a snare that few are not caught by, a more subtle and dangerous snare is to be _famed for holiness_. The fame of being a godly man is as great a snare as the fame of being learned or eloquent. It is possible to attend with scrupulous anxiety even to secret habits of devotion, in order to get a name for holiness.[20] If any were exposed to this snare in his day, Mr. M'Cheyne was the person. Yet nothing is more certain than that, to the very last, he was ever discovering, and successfully resisting, the deceitful tendencies of his own heart and a tempting devil. Two things he seems never to have ceased from,--the cultivation of personal holiness, and the most anxious efforts to save souls.
[20] How true, yet awful, is the language of Dr Owen (quoted in Bridges' _Christian Ministry_, p. 168), "He that would go down to the pit in peace, let him obtain a great repute for religion; let him preach and labour to make other better than he is himself, and in the meantime neglect to humble his heart, to walk with God in manifest holiness and usefulness, and he will not fail of his end."
About this time he wrote down, for his own use, an examination into things that ought to be amended and changed. I subjoin it entire. How singularly close and impartial are these researches into his soul! How acute is he in discovering his variations from the holy law of God! Oh that we all were taught by the same spirit thus to try our reins! It is only when we are thus thoroughly experiencing our helplessness, and discovering the thousand forms of indwelling sin, that we really sit as disciples at Christ's feet, and gladly receive Him as all in all! And at each such moment we feel in the spirit of Ignatius, "[Greek: Nyn gar archên echô tou mathêteuesthai]"--"It is only now that I begin to be a disciple."
Mr. M'Cheyne entitles the examination of his heart and life _"Reformation"_ and it commences thus:--
"It is the duty of ministers in this day to begin the reformation of religion and manners with themselves, families, etc., with confession of past sin, earnest prayer for direction, grace, and full purpose of heart. Mal. 3:3--'He shall purify the sons of Levi.' Ministers are probably laid aside for a time for this very purpose.
"1. _Personal Reformation._
"I am persuaded that I shall obtain the highest amount of present happiness, I shall do most for God's glory and the good of man, and I shall have the fullest reward in eternity, by maintaining a conscience always washed in Christ's blood, by being filled with the Holy Spirit at all times, and by attaining the most entire likeness to Christ in mind, will, and heart, that is possible for a redeemed sinner to attain to in this world.
"I am persuaded that whenever any one from without, or my own heart from within, at any moment, or in any circumstances, contradicts this,--if any one shall insinuate that it is not for my present and eternal happiness, and for God's glory and my usefulness, to maintain a blood-washed conscience, to be entirely filled with the Spirit, and to be fully conformed to the image of Christ in all things,--that is the voice of the devil, God's enemy, the enemy of my soul and of all good--the most foolish, wicked, and miserable of all the creatures. See Prov. 9:17--'Stolen waters are sweet.'
"1. _To maintain a conscience void of offence_, I am persuaded that I ought to confess my sins more. I think I ought to confess sin the moment I see it to be sin; whether I am in company, or in study, or even preaching, the soul ought to cast a glance of abhorrence at the sin. If I go on with the duty, leaving the sin unconfessed, I go on with a burdened conscience, and add sin to sin. I think I ought at certain times of the day--my best times,--say, after breakfast and after tea,--to confess solemnly the sins of the previous hours, and to seek their complete remission.