The Pulpit Commentary — Proverbs — Section 500

Ver. 6.-" The wounds of a friend." The principle implied in this verse is apparent at a glance. It is better that one who loves and trulv considers the interests of another should wound him for his good than that a superficial flatterer should refrain from doing so for the sake of pleasing and winning continuous favour. 'rhe only difficulties lie in the practical application of the principle. • I. TRUE FRIENDSHIP WILL DABE TO WOUND. It is painful and difficult to do that which we know will grieve one who is greatly loved. Therefore if it is really necessary it will put the love to the test. 1. True friendship considers the welfare of another. The chief thought is not on behalf of agreeable companionship, but as to what will really benefit one's friend. 2. The welfare of another m,a,y require a painful treatment. There are so-called "candid friends," who secretly delight in saying unpleasant things. With such people there is no merit in giving pain, nor is it likely that much advantage will result from their rough conduct. But it may be possible to point out a friend's mistakes, to warn him against temptation, to gravely deprecate his wrongful conduct, to make him feel his deterioration of· character. 'l'hen, though the process must be keenly painful on both sides, love will attempt it. JL THE WOU1IDS OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP SHOULD BE PATIENTLY BEOEIVED. 1. Tht1 eost of them should be considered. If they do indeed come from a friend they show his genuine regard, his unselfish devotion. They also indicate how thorough is his con- fidence; for they show that he expects to be rightly understood, and that his painful action will not be resented. He risks a breach of the friendship for the sake of benefit- ing his friend. This is a generous action, and it should be generously accepted. But it needs magnanimity both to give and to take the wounds of friendship. 2. The value of them should be appreciated. The first impulse is to feel aggrieved, to resent the intrusion, to treat the well-meant rebuke as an insult, to justify one's self, perhaps even to overwhelm the friend who wounds with rage and revenge. '!'his is as foolish as it is ungrateful. If we only knew it, we should confess that we have no better friends than those who dare to wound us. It is just from such friends that we can learn wisdom. Flattery kisses and slays; friendship wounds and saves. III. THE DIVINE FRrnNnsmr WOUNDS TO SAVE. 'rho world flatters and promises only pleasant things to its slaves when it first enthralls them. God treats us in the opposite way, warning us of danger, rebuking our sins, even chastising us with heavy blows. But "whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth." 1. God proves himself to be our Fri,end by wounding us. He might have left us alone to rot in our own wretched ruin. But in bis great love he has interfered to save, though his advances are met with insult and anger. God loves enough to give pain. 2. It would be wise to receive God's wounding as that of a Friend. It is for our good; then the best course is to take it accordingly, to e~deavour to profit by it.. C~rist lays a. cross on his disciJ?les, and saves them by leading them to follow in his Via Dolorosa, and to be crucified with him (Gal. ii. 20). Ver. 8.-A bird wandering from her ?UJst. Let us consider first in what respects a (jlJ, XXVII. 1-27.] THE PROVERBS. 523