7. All Christians are loud in their praises of Christ's holy yokefellows, [3644] because they gave to Demetrias when she professed herself a virgin the money which had been set apart as a dowry for her marriage. They would not wrong her heavenly bridegroom; in fact they wished her to come to Him with all her previous riches, that these might not be wasted on the things of the world, but might relieve the distress of God's servants.
Who would believe it? That Proba, who of all persons of high rank and birth in the Roman world bears the most illustrious name, whose holy life and universal charity have won for her esteem even among the barbarians, who has made nothing of the regular consulships enjoyed by her three sons, Probinus, Olybrius, and Probus,--that Proba, I say, now that Rome has been taken and its contents burned or carried off, is said to be selling what property she has and to be making for herself friends of the mammon of unrighteousness, that these may receive her into everlasting habitations! [3645] Well may the church's ministers, whatever their degree, and those monks who are only monks in name, blush for shame that they are buying estates, when this noble lady is selling them.
Hardly had she escaped from the hands of the barbarians, hardly had she ceased weeping for the virgins whom they had torn from her arms, when she was overwhelmed by a sudden and unbearable bereavement, one too which she had had no cause to fear, the death of her loving son. [3646] Yet as one who was to be grandmother to a Christian virgin, she bore up against this death-dealing stroke, strong in hope of the future and proving true of herself the words of the lyric:
"Should the round world in fragments burst, its fall
May strike the just, may slay, but not appal." [3647]
We read in the book of Job how, while the first messenger of evil was yet speaking, there came also another; [3648] and in the same book it is written: "is there not a temptation"--or as the Hebrew better gives it--"a warfare to man upon earth?" [3649] It is for this end that we labour, it is for this end that we risk our lives in the warfare of this world, that we may be crowned in the world to come. That we should believe this to be true of men is nothing wonderful, for even the Lord Himself was tempted, [3650] and of Abraham the scripture bears witness that God tempted him. [3651] It is for this reason also that the apostle says: "we glory in tribulations....knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience experience; and experience hope; and hope maketh not ashamed;" [3652] and in another passage: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." [3653] The prophet Isaiah comforts those in like case in these words: "ye that are weaned from the milk, ye that are drawn from the breasts, look for tribulation upon tribulation, but also for hope upon hope." [3654] For, as the apostle puts it "the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." [3655] Why I have here brought together all these passages the sequel will make plain.
Proba who had seen from the sea the smoke of her native city and had committed her own safety and that of those dear to her to a fragile boat, found the shores of Africa even more cruel than those which she had left. For one [3656] lay in wait for her of whom it would be hard to say whether he was more covetous or heartless, one who cared for nothing but wine and money, one who under pretence of serving the mildest of emperors [3657] stood forth as the most savage of all despots. If I may be allowed to quote a fable of the poets, he was like Orcus [3658] in Tartarus. Like him too he had with him a Cerberus, [3659] not three headed but many headed, ready to seize and rend everything within his reach. He tore betrothed daughters from their mothers' arms [3660] and sold high-born maidens in marriage to those greediest of men, the merchants of Syria. No plea of poverty induced him to spare either ward or widow or virgin dedicated to Christ. Indeed he looked more at the hands than at the faces of those who appealed to him. Such was the dread Charybdis and such the hound-girt Scylla which this lady encountered in fleeing from the barbarians; monsters who neither spared the shipwrecked nor heeded the cry of those made captive. Cruel wretch! [3661] at least imitate the enemy of the Roman Empire. The Brennus of our day [3662] took only what he found, but you seek what you cannot find.
Virtue, indeed, is always exposed to envy, and cavillers may marvel at the secret agreement by which Proba purchased the chastity of her numerous companions. They may allege that the count who could have taken all would not have been satisfied [3663] with a part; and that she could not have questioned his claim since in spite of her rank she was but a slave in his despotic hands. I perceive also that I am laying myself open to the attacks of enemies and that I may seem to be flattering a lady of the highest birth and distinction. Yet these men will not be able to accuse me when they learn that hitherto I have said nothing about her. I have never either in the lifetime of her husband or since his decease praised her for the antiquity of her family or for the extent of her wealth and power, subjects which others might perhaps have improved in mercenary speeches. My purpose is to praise the grandmother of my virgin in a style befitting the church, and to thank her for having aided with her goodwill the desire which Demetrias has formed. For the rest my cell, my food and clothing, my advanced years, and my narrow circumstances sufficiently refute the charge of flattery. In what remains of my letter I shall direct all my words to Demetrias herself, whose holiness ennobles her as much as her rank, and of whom it may be said that the higher she climbs the more terrible will be her fall.
For the rest
This one thing, child of God, I lay on thee;
Yea before all, and urge it many times: [3664]
Love to occupy your mind with the reading of scripture. Do not in the good ground of your breast gather only a crop of darnel and wild oats. Do not let an enemy sow tares among the wheat when the householder is asleep [3665] (that is when the mind which ever cleaves to God is off its guard); but say always with the bride in the song of songs: "By night I sought him whom my soul loveth. Tell me where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon;" [3666] and with the psalmist: "my soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me;" [3667] and with Jeremiah: "I have not found it hard....to follow thee," [3668] for "there is no grief in Jacob neither is there travail in Israel." [3669] When you were in the world you loved the things of the world. You rubbed your cheeks with rouge and used whitelead to improve your complexion. You dressed your hair and built up a tower on your head with tresses not your own. I shall say nothing of your costly earrings, your glistening pearls from the depths of the Red Sea, [3670] your bright green emeralds, your flashing onyxes, your liquid sapphires,--tones which turn the heads of matrons, and make them eager to possess the like. For you have relinquished the world and besides your baptismal vow have taken a new one; you have entered into a compact with your adversary and have said: "I renounce thee, O devil, and thy world and thy pomp and thy works." Observe, therefore, the treaty that you have made, and keep terms with your adversary while you are in the way of this world. Otherwise he may some day deliver you to the judge and prove that you have taken what is his; and then the judge will deliver you to the officer--at once your foe and your avenger--and you will be cast into prison; into that outer darkness [3671] which surrounds us with the greater horror as it severs us from Christ the one true light. [3672] And you shall by no means come out thence till you have paid the uttermost farthing, [3673] that is, till you have expiated your most trifling sins; for we shall give account of every idle word in the day of judgment. [3674]
8. In speaking thus I do not wish to utter an ill-omened prophecy against you but only to warn you as an apprehensive and prudent monitor who in your case fears even what is safe. What says the scripture? "If the spirit of the ruler rise up against thee, leave not thy place." [3675] We must always stand under arms and in battle array, ready to engage the foe. When he tries to dislodge us from our position and to make us fall back, we must plant our feet firmly down, and say with the psalmist, "he hath set my feet upon a rock" [3676] and "the rocks are a refuge for the conies." [3677] In this latter passage for conies' many read hedgehogs.' Now the hedgehog is a small animal, very shy, and covered over with thorny bristles. When Jesus was crowned with thorns and bore our sins and suffered for us, it was to make the roses of virginity and the lilies of chastity grow for us out of the brambles and briers which have formed the lot of women since the day when it was said to Eve, "in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee." [3678] We are told that the bridegroom feeds among the lilies, [3679] that is, among those who have not defiled their garments, for they have remained virgins [3680] and have hearkened to the precept of the Preacher: "let thy garments be always white." [3681] As the author and prince of virginity He says boldly of Himself: "I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys." [3682] "The rocks" then "are a refuge for the conies" who when they are persecuted in one city flee into another [3683] and have no fear that the prophetic words "refuge failed me" [3684] will be fulfilled in their case. "The high hills are a refuge for the wild goats," [3685] and their food are the serpents which a little child draws out of their holes. Meanwhile the leopard lies down with the kid and the lion eats straw like the ox; [3686] not of course that the ox may learn ferocity from the lion but that the lion may learn docility from the ox.
But let us turn back to the passage first quoted, "If the spirit of the ruler rise up against thee, leave not thy place," a sentence which is followed by these words: "for yielding pacifieth great offences." [3687] The meaning is, that if the serpent finds his way into your thoughts you must "keep your heart with all diligence" [3688] and sing with David, "cleanse thou me from secret faults: keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins," and come not to "the great transgression" [3689] which is sin in act. Rather slay the allurements to vice while they are still only thoughts; and dash the little ones of the daughter of Babylon against the stones [3690] where the serpent can leave no trail. Be wary and vow a vow unto the Lord: "let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright and I shall be innocent from the great transgression." [3691] For elsewhere also the scripture testifies, "I will visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation." [3692] That is to say, God will not punish us at once for our thoughts and resolves but will send retribution upon their offspring, that is, upon the evil deeds and habits of sin which arise out of them. As He says by the mouth of Amos: "for three transgressions of such and such a city and for four I will not turn away the punishment thereof." [3693]
9. I cull these few flowers in passing from the fair field of the holy scriptures. They will suffice to warn you that you must shut the door of your breast and fortify your brow by often making the sign of the cross. Thus alone will the destroyer of Egypt find no place to attack you; thus alone will the first-born of your soul escape the fate of the first-born of the Egyptians; [3694] thus alone will you be able with the prophet to say: "my heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise. Awake up, my glory; awake, psaltery and harp." [3695] For, sin stricken as she is, even Tyre is bidden to take up her harp [3696] and to do penance; like Peter she is told to wash away the stains of her former foulness with bitter tears. Howbeit, let us know nothing of penitence, lest the thought of it lead us into sin. It is a plank for those who have had the misfortune to be shipwrecked; [3697] but an inviolate virgin may hope to save the ship itself. For it is one thing to look for what you have cast away, and another to keep what you have never lost. Even the apostle kept under his body and brought it into subjection, lest having preached to others he might himself become a castaway. [3698] Heated with the violence of sensual passion he made himself the spokesman of the human race: "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" and again, "I know that in me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good, I find not. For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do;" [3699] and once more: "they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the spirit, if so be that the spirit of God dwell in you." [3700]