to wash thee ; these can, and will, when the Lord pleases, testify as much for thy grace and sincerity as it doth for theirs. Only as witnesses that are in a court stay till the judge call them forth, then, and not till then, do they give their testimony ; so do these, and God may, and doth use his liberty, when he will do this; as, oil the contrary, every wicked, impenitent sinner carries a wit- ness in his own bosom that will condemn him ; but this doth not always speak, and presently make report of the sad news it hath to tell the sinner, that is when God calls a court, and keeps his private sessions in the sinner's soul, which is at his pleasure to appoint the time. Only means must not be neglected, of which I shall propose a few.
1. Reacli forth, Christian, for such I must call thee, whether thou wilt own the name or no, to further degrees of gi-ace. The more the child grows up, the more it comes to its i-ight complexion ; and so doth grace. There*is so much slavish fear, selfishness, with other imperfections, at present, like so much scurf, on the face of this newborn babe of grace, that they do hide its true favour, which by degrees will wear ofi' as it grows up ; yea, the spiritual reason of a Christian ripens, as the whole body of grace grows, whereby he is more capable, by reflecting on his own actions, to judge of the objections Satan makes against his sincerity ; so that if you would not be always tossed to and fro with your own fluctuating thoughts, whether sincere or not, be not always children in grace, but grow up to higher stature, and thou wilt grow above many of thy fears ; for, by the same light that thou findest the growth of thy grace thou mayest see the truth of it also. Though it be hard in the crepusciihim, or first break of day, to know whether it be daylight or nightlight that shines ; yet when you see the light evidently grow and vmfold itself, you by that know it to be day. Paint doth not grow on the face fairer than it was, nor do the arms of a child in a picture get strength by standing there months and years; . does thy love, hope, humility, godly sorrow, grow more and more, poor soul, and yet question what it is, whether true grace or not? This is as marvellous a thing, that thou shouldst not know what thy grace is, and whence, as it was that the Jews should not know who Christ was, when he had made a man, born blind, see so clearly, John ix,
2. Readily embrace any call that God sends thee by his providence for giving a proof and experiment of thy sincerity. There are some few advantages that God gives, which, if embraced and improved, a man may come to know more of his own heart, and the grace of God therein, than in all his life besides. Now these advantages do lie wrapped up in those seasons wherein God more eminently calls us forth to deny ourselves for his sake. Be but ready to enter- tain, and faithful to obey that heavenly call, and thou wilt know much of thy heart ; partly, because grace in such acts comes forth with such glory, that, as the Sim when it shines in a clear day, it exposeth itself more visibly to the eye of the creature, as also because God chooseth such seasons as these for to give his testimony to the truth of his children's grace in, when they are most eminently exercising of it in this way. When does the master speak kindly to his servant, and commend him, but when he takes him most diligent in it? then he saith : ' Well done, good and faithfid servant.' May be some time or other God is calling thee to such an act of self-denial, wherein if thou wilt answer God's call, thou must trample upon some dear enjoyment or other, as credit, estate, may be a sweet child, a dear wife, yea, may be thou canst not do the work God calls thee to, but with hazard to them all, these and more too. Well, friend, be not sick to think of thy great strength, or disquieted at the sight of his providence, that now stands at thy door ; didst thou know what eiTand it comes about, thou wouldst invite it in, and make it as welcome as Abraham did the three angels, whom he feasted in his tent so freely. I will tell thee what (Jod sends it for; and that is, to bring thee to a sight of thy sincerity, and acqiuiint thee with that grace of God in thee, whose face thou hast so long desired to see. This pro- vidence brings thee a chariot, to allude to Joseph's wagons sent for old Jacob, wherein thou mayest be carried to see that grace alive, whose funeral thou hast so long kept in thy mournful soul ; and does not thy spirit revive at the thought of any means whereby thou mayest obtain this ? Abraham, he was called to offer up his son, and went about it in earnest : such a piece of self-denial God could not let pass without some mark of honom- ; and what is it he gives him,
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276 HAVING YOUH LOINS