desires, whereby thovi art, in hearing the word, often sallying forth in such like breathings as these : O that Christ was mine ! Shall I ever be the happy soul whom God will pardon and save ? Yea, possibly, in the heat of thy affections, thou art cursing thy lusts and Satan, who have held thee so long from Christ, and sudden purposes are taken up by tliee, that thou wilt bid adieu to thy former ways, and break through all the entreaties of thy dearest lusts, to come to Christ. O soul ! now the kingdom of God is nigh indeed unto thee. Thou art, as I may so say, even upon thy quickening ; and therefore, above all, this is the chief season of thy care, lest thou shouldst miscarry. If these sudden desires did but ripen into a deliberate choice of Christ, and these purposes settle into a permanent resolution to renounce sin and self, and so thou cast thyself on Christ, I durst be the messenger to joy thee with the birth of this babe of grace (faith I mean) in thy soul. I confess affections are up and down, yea, like the wind, how strongly soever they seem to blow the soid one way at present, are often found in the quite contrary point very soon after. A man may be drunk with passion and affection as really as with wine or beer ; and as it is ordinary for a man to make a bargain when he is in beer or wine, which he repents of when he is sober again, so it is as ordinary for poor creatures who make choice of Christ and his ways in a sermon, (while their affections have been elevated above their ordinary pitch by some moving discourse,) to repent of all they have done, awhile after, when the impression of the word, which heated their affections in hearing, be worn off, and then they come to themselves again, and are what they were, as far from any such desires after Christ as ever. Content not, therefore, thyself with some sudden pangs of affections in an ordinance, but labour to preserve those impressions which then the Spirit makes on thy soul, that they be not defaced and rubbed ofl^, like colours newly laid on, before they are dry, by the next temptation that comes. This is the caveat of the apostle, Heb. ii. 1 : ' Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip,' or run out like leaking vessels. May be, at present, thy heart is melting and in a flow with sorrow for thy sins, and thou thinkest, Surely now I shall never give my lust a kind look more ; (indeed, one might wonder, to see the solemn mournful countenances under a sermon, which of these could be the man or woman that would afterwards be seen walking hand in hand with those sins they now weep to hear mentioned.) But as thou lovest thy life, watch thy sovd, lest this prove but as the early dew,* none of which is to be seen at noon. Do thou, therefore, as those do who have stood some while in a hot bath, out of which when they come they do not presently go into the open air, (that were enough to kill them,) but betake themselves to their warm bed, that they may nourish this kindly heat, and now, while their pores are open by a gentle sweat, breathe out more effectually the remaining dregs of their distemper. Thus betake thyself to thy closet, and there labour to take the advantage of thy present relenting frame for the more free pouring out of thy soul to God, now the ordinance hath thawed the tap, and with all thy soul beg of God he would not leave thee short of faith, and suffer thee to miscarry, now he hath thee upon the wheel, but make thee a vessel unto honour, which follows as the third direction.
CHAPTER IX.
CONTAINING THREE DIRECTIONS MORE TOWARDS THE OBTAINING FAITH.
Thirdly, Lift up thy cry aloud in prayer to God for faith.
Section I.- — Quest. But may an unbeliever pray ? Some think he ought noti — Ans. This is ill news if it were true, even for some who do believe, but dare not say that they are believers. It were enough to scare them from prayer too ; and so it would be as Satan would have it, that God should have few or none to vouch him in this solemn part of his worship ; for they are but the fewest of believers that can walk to the throne of grace in view of their own faith. Prayer it is medium culius, and also medium gratia; ; a means whereby we give worship to God, and also wait to receive grace from God ; so that to say a wicked man ought not to pray, is to say he ought not to worship God, and acknowledge him to be his Maker: and also, that he ought not to wait on the
ABOVE ALL, TAKING THE SHIELD OF FAITH. 459