To this purpose the apostle exhorts, Heb. xii. 5. " IMy son, des- *' pise not thou the chastening of the Lord, neither faint when thou ** art rebuked of him."" These are two extremes, despising and fainting : when God is correcting, to say, I do not regard it, let God take all, if he will; if my estate must go, let it go; if my children die, let them die : this is to despise the Lord's chastening ; and God cannot bear it, that we should bear it thus lightly.
There is also another extreme, and that is fainting : if, when goods ■are taken away the heart be taken away, and when children die, then the spirit of the parent dies also; this is fainting under the rod. Thou lamentest, saith Senaca, thy deceased friend ; but I would not have thee grieve beyond what is meet : that thou shouldest not grieve at all, I dare not require thee ; tears may be excused, if they do not exceed. Let thine eyes, therefore, be neither wholly dry, nor let them overflow : weep thou mayest, but wail thou must not.
Happy man, that still keeps the golden bridle of moderation upon his passions, and affections, and still keeps the possession of himself, whatsoever he lose the possession of.
Now the method in which I propose to proceed, shall be,
1. To discover the signs,
2. To dissuade from the sin, S. To remove the pleas,
4. To propose the cure of immoderate sorrow.
First, I shall give you the signs of immoderate sorrow, and shew you when it exceeds its bounds, and becomes sinful, even a sorrow to be sorrowed for; and, for clearness sake, I will first allow what may be allowed to the Christian mourner, and then you will the better dis» cern wherein the excess and sinfulness of your sorrow lies.
And, First, How much soever we censure, and condemn immo* derate sorrow ; yet the afflicted imist be allozved an awakened, and tender sense of the Lord's afflicting hand upon them. It is no virtue to bear what we do not feel ; yea, it is a most unbecoming temper, not to tremble when God is smiting.
The Lord saith to Moses, in the case of Miriam, Numb. xii. 24. " If her father had spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven " days t'''' The face is the table, and seat of beauty and honour ; but when it is spit upon, it is made the sink of shame. Had her o\iti father spit upon her face when she had displeased him, would she not have gone aside, as one ashamed by such a rebuke, and not have shewed her face to him again in seven days .? How much more should she take it to heart, and be sensible of this rebuke of mine? who have
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filled her face with leprous spots, the signs of my displeasure against her ? Surely God will be ashamed of those that are not ashamed when he rebukes them.
It is not magnanimity, but stupidity, to make light of God's cor- rections ; and for this the afflicted are smartly taxed, Jer. v. 3. " I " have smitten them, but they have not grieved.'' When God smote Job in his person, children, and estate, he arose and rent his mantle, and put dust upon his head, to shew he was not senseless and unaffected, and yet blessed the afflicting God ; which, as plainly shewed he was not contumacious and unsubmissive.
Secondly, We must allow the mourning, ajfflicted soul, a due and comely expression of his grief and sorrow in his complaints both to God and men.
It is much more becoming a Christian, ingeniously to open his troubles, than suddenly to smother them. There is no sin in com- plaining to God, but much wickedness in complaining of him. Griefs are eased by groans and heart-pressures relieved by utterance. This was David's course and constant way, who was a man of afflic- tions. Psalm cxlii. 2, 3. " I poured out my complaint before him, I " shewed before him my trouble ; when my spirit was overwhelmed " within me, then thou knowest my path."
To whom should children go, but to their father, to make their moan ? Whence may they expect relief and comfort but from him ? The 102d Psalm is intituled, " A Psalm for the afflicted, when he is " overwhelmed, and poureth out his complaint before the Lord."
And happy were it if every afflicted soul would choose this way to express his sorrows. Did we complain more to God, he would com- plain less of us, and quickly abate the matters of our complaint. O you cannot think how moving, how melting, how prevailing it is with God, when his poor, burdened, and afflicted people in a day of distress and despondency, when deep calleth unto deep, and one wave drives on another, then for the oppressed soul, with humility, filial confidence, and faith, to turn itself to the Lord, and thus bespeak him.
' Father, what shall I do ? My soul is greatly bowed down by ' trouble ; 1 am full to the brim, my vain heart hath looked for * relief this way and that way, but none comes ; every door of com- ' fort is shut up against me : Thou hast multiplied my sorrows, and ' renewed my witnesses against me : Comfort is removed from my ' outward, and peace from my inner man ; sharp afflictions without, ' and bitter reflections within. O Lord, I am oppressed, undertake ' for me. Fathers of the flesh pity their distressed children, when ' they complain to them ; and wilt not thou, O Lord, whose com- ' passions as far exceed creature-compassions as the sea exceeds a ' drop ; O my Father ! pity me, support me, deliver me."
O how acceptable is this to God ! how advantageous to the soul !
We may also make our complaint to men. So did Job, chap. xix. ver. 21. *< Have pity, have pity on me, O ye my friends, for the hand
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'* of God hath touched me." And it is a mercy if we have any friends that are wise, faithful, and experienced ; they are born for such a time as this, Prov. xvii. 17. but be tliey what tbey will, they cannot pity as God, relieve and succour as he ; and oftentimes we may say with Job, chap. xxi. ver. 4. " As for me, is my complaint to men ? " And if it were, why should not my spirit be troubled ?''"' q. d. What great advantage can I get by tRese complaints ? I may burden the heart of my friend, but how little doth that ease my own ? Yet the very opening of the heart to an experienced, tender Christian, is some relief, and the engaging his prayers is more. Thus far 3'ou moan safely, in all this there is no danger.
Thirdly, The aff id ed person may (ordmarilij) accuse, judge, and condemn himself, for being the cause and procurer of his own troubles. He may lawfully be discontented and vexed with himself for his oM-n folly, when the iniquity of his heels compasseth him about. And truly it is but seldom that any great affliction befals a gracious per- son, but he saw the need of such a rod before he felt it.