Thus we delight to look upon the relics of our deceased friends, and often to mention their actions, and sayings, not so much for any matter of holy, and weighty instruction, or imitation, for that would warrant, and commend the action ; but rather to rub the wound, and fetch fresh blood from it, by piercing ourselves with some little trivial, yet wounding circumstances. I have known many that will sit and talk of the features, actions and sayings, of their children, for hours together, and weep at the rehearsal of them, and that for many months after they are gone ; so keeping the wound continually open, and excruciating their own hearts, without any benefit at aU by them : A lock of hair, or some such trifles, must be kept for this purpose to renew their sorrow daily, by looking on it. On this ac- count, Jacob would not have his son called Benoni, lest it should renew his sorrow, but Benjamin.
I am far from commending a brutish oblivion of our dear relations, and condemn it as much as I do this childish and unprofitable re- membrance. O friends ! we have other things to do under the rod, than these : Were it not better to be searching our hearts, and houses, when God's rod is upon us, and studying how to answer the end of it, by mortifying those corruptions which provoke it ? Surely the rod works not kindly till it comes to this.
Seventhly/, Lastly^ Our sorrows may then be pronounced sinful, when they deafen our ears to all the wholesome, and seasonable words of counsel, and comfort, offered us for our relief, and support.
Jer. xxxi. 15. "A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation and *' bitter weeping : Rachel weeping for her children, would not be " comforted for her children, because they were not." She will ad- mit no comfort, her disease is curable by no other means but the re- storation of her children; give her them again, and she will be quiet ; else vou speak unto air, she regards not whatever you say.
Thus Israel, in the cruel bondage in Egypt, Moses brings them the glad tidings of deliverance ; " But they hearkened not to him, " because of the anguish of spirit, and their cruel bondage," Exod. vi. 9.
Thus obstinately fixed are many, in their trouble, that no words of advice, or comfort, find any place with them ; yea, I have known some exceeding quick and ingenious, even above the rate of their common parts and abilities, in inventing shifts, and framing objec- tions to turn off comfort from themselves, as if they had been hired to plead against their own interest ; and if they be driven from those pleas, yet they are settled in their troubles, too fast to be moved ;
* Exeorum more qui luctus sui irritamenta qucerunt. Calvin.
A TOKEN -f OR MOURNERS. 623
say what you will, they mind it not, or, at most it abides not upon them. Let proper, seasonable advice, or comfort be tendered, they refuse it ; your counsel is good, but they have no heart to it now. Thus, Psal. Ixxvii. 10. " My soul (saith he) refused to be " comforted." ^
To want comfort in time of affliction, is an aggravation of our af- fliction ; but to refuse it when offered us, wants not sin. Time may come when we would be glad to receive comfort, or hear a word of support, and shall be denied it.
0 it is a mercy to the afflicted to have Barnabas with them, an in- terpreter, one among a thousand ; and it will be the great sin, and folly of the afflicted, to spill like water upon the ground, those ex- cellent cordials, prepared and offered to them, out of a froward, or dead spirit, under trouble. Say not with them, Lam. iii. 18, 19. " My hope is perished from the Lord, remembering mine affliction ** and my misery, the wormwood and the gall."" It is a thousand pities the wormwood and gall of affliction should so disgust a Chris- tian, as that he should not at any time be able to relish the sweet- ness that is in Christ, and in the promises. And thus I have dis- patched the first part of my design, in shewing you wherein the sin of mourners doth not lie, and in what it doth.
Secondly^ Having cleared this, and shewn you wherein the sin and danger lies ; my way is now prepared to the second thing proposed, namely, to dissuade mourners from these sinful excesses of sorrows, and keep the golden bridle of moderation upon their passions in times of affliction. And O that ray words may be as successful upon those pensive souls that shall read them, as Abigail's were to David, 1 Sam. XXV. 32. who, when he perceived how proper and seasonable they were, said, " Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent thee " this day to meet me, and blessed be thy advice."
1 am sensible how hard a task it is I here undertake, to charm down and allay mutinous, raging, and tumultuous passions; to give a check to the torrent of passion, is ordinarily but to provoke it, and make it rage and swell the more.
The work is the Lord's, it wholly depends upon his power and blessing. He that saith to the sea when the waves thereof roar, be still, can also quiet and compose the stormy and tumultuous sea, that rages in the breasts of the afflicted, and casts up nothing but the froth of vain and useless complaints of our misery, or the dirt of sin- ful and wicked complaints of the dealings of the Lord with us.
The rod of affliction goes round, and visits all sorts of persons, without difference ; it is upon the tabernacles of the just and the un- just, the righteous and the wicked; both are mourning under the rod.
The godly are not so to be minded, as that the other be wholly neglected ; they have as strong and tender, though not as regular affections to their relations, and must not be wholly suffered to sink under their unrelieved burdens.
624* A TOllEX rCR MOURXERS.
Here, therefore, I must have respect to two sorts of persons, ■vrhom I find in tears upon the same account ; I mean, the loss of their dear relations, the regenerate, and the unregenerate. I am a debtor to both, and shall endeavour their support and assistance, for even the unregenerate call for our help and pity, and must not be neglected and wholly slighted in their afflictions. We must pity them that can- not pity themselves *. The law of God commands us to help a beast, if fallen under its burden ; how much more a man sinking under a load of sorrows ?
I confess, uses of comfort to the unregenerate are not (ordinarily) in use among us, and it may seem strange whence any thing of support should be drawn for them that have no special interest in Christ or the promises.
1 confess also I find myself under great disadvantages for this work; I cannot offer them those reviving cordials that are contained in Christ and the covenant, for God's afflicted people ; but yet, such is the goodness of God even to his enemies, that they are not left wholly without supports or means to allay their sorrow.