And thus I have finished the second general head of this discourse, which is a dissuasive from the sin of immoderate sorrow.
3. I now proceed to the third thing proposed, namely, to remove the pleas and excuses for this immoderate grief. It is natural to men, yea, to good men, to justify their excesses, or at least to extenuate them, by pleading for their passions, as if they wanted not cause, and reason enough to excuse them. If these be fully answered, and the soul once convinced, and left without apology for its sin, it is then in a fair wav for its cure, which is the last thino' desiuned in this treatise.
My present busmess, therefore is, to satisfy those objections, and answer those reasons which are commonly pleaded in this case, to justify our excessive grief for lost relations. And though I shall carry it in that line of relation to which the text directs, yet it is equally applicable to all others.
* Melchior Adam, in the life of Lolher.
654 A TOKEN I'On MOURNERS.
Pka 1. You press me by many great considerations to meekness and quiet submission under this heavy stroke of God ; but you little know what stings my soul feels now in it.
The child was a child of many prayers, it was a Samuel beo^ged of the Lord, and I concluded when I had it, that it brought with it the returns and answers of many prayers. But now I see it was nothing less ; God had no regard to my prayer about it, nor was it given me in that special way of merc\^, as I imagined it to be : My child is not only dead, but my prayers in the same day shut out and denied.
Anszcer 1. That you prayed for your children before you had them was your duty ; and if you prayed not for them submissively, re- ferring it to the pleasure of God to give, or deny them, to continue or remove them, as should seem good to him, that was your sin : You ought not to limit the Holy one of Israel, nor prescribe to him; or capitulate with him, for what term you shall enjoy your outward comforts: If you did so, it was your evil, and God hath justly re- buked it by tliis stroke. If you did pray conditionally, and submis- sively referring both the mercy asked and continuance of it to the will of God, as you ought to do ; then there is nothing in the death of your child that crosses the true scope and intent in your prayer.
Answer ^. Your prayers may be answered, though the thing pray- ed for be with-hcld, yea, or thouHi it should be mven for a little whiJc, and snatched away from you again. There are four ways of (.rod's answering prayers, by giving tlie thing prayed for presently, Dan. ix. 9S. or by suspending the answer for a time, and giving'it afterwards, Luke xviii. 7. or by with-holding from you that mercy which you ask, and giving you a much better mercy in the room of Jt, Dent. iii. 524. compared with Deut. xxxiv. 4, 5. Or, lastly, by giving you patience to bear the loss, or want of it, 2 Cor. xii. 9.
Now, if the Lord have taken away your child, or friend, and in lieu thereof given you a meek, quiet, submissive heart to his will, you need not say he hath shut out your cry.
Plea. 2 But I have lost a lovely, obliging, and most endearing child, one that was beautiful and sweet ; it is a stony heart that would not dissolve into tears for the loss of one so desirable, so engaging as this was : Ah ! it is no common loss.
Ansicer\. The more lovely and engaging your relation was, the more excellent will your patience and contentment with the will of God in its death be : the more loveliness, the more self-denial, the more grace. Had it been a thousand times more endearingly sweet than it was, it was not too good to deny for God. If therefore obe- dience to the will of God do indeed master natural affections, and that you look upon patience and contentment as much more beautiful than the sweetest and most desirable enjoyment on earth, it may turn to you for a testimony of the truth and strength of grace : that you can, like Abraham, part with a child whom you so dearly love, in obedience to the will of your God, whom you love infinitely more.
A TOKEN FOR MOURN EliS. 655
Jnszce?' 2. The loveliness and beauty of our children and relations, though it must be acknowledged a gtK)d gift from the hand of God; yet it is but a common gift, and often times becomes a snare, and is, in its own nature, but a transitory, vanishing thing, and tliercfore no such great aggravation of the loss as is pretended.
I say, it is but a common gift; Eliab, Adonijah, and Absalom had as lovely presences as any in their generation. Yea, it is not only common to the wicked, with the godly, but to the brute animals, as well as men, and to most that excel in it, it becomes a tem])tation ; the souls of some had been more beautiful and lovely, if their bodieij Iiad been less so. Besides, it is but a flower which nourishes in its mouth, and then fades. This therefore should not be reflected on as so great a circumstance to aggravate your trouble.
Ansioer S. But if your relation sleep in Jesus, he will appear ten thousand times more lovely in the morning of the resurrection, than ever he was in the world. What is the exactest, purest beauty of mortals, to the incomparable beauty of the saints in the resurrection .'* " Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of " their Father," Matth. xiii. 43. In this hope you part with them, therefore act suitably to your hopes.
Plea 3. Oh ! but my ciiild was nipped off by death in the very bud ; t did but see, and love, and part : Had I enjoyed it longer, and had time to suck out the sweetness of such an enjoyment, I could have borne it easier ; but its months or years with me were so few, that they only served to raise an expectation which was quickly, and therefore the more sadly disappointed.
Answer 1. Did your friend die young, or was the bond of any other relation almost dissolved as soon as made ? Let not this seem so intolerable a load to you ; for if you have ground to hope they died in Christ, then they lived long enough in this world*. It is truly said, he hath sailed long enough that hath won the harbour ; he hath fought long enough that hath obtained the victory ; he hatli run long enough that hath touched the goal ; and he hath lived long enough upon earth that hath won heaven, be his days here never so i'ew.
Answer 9.. The sooner your relaticm died, the less sin hath been committed, and the less sorrow felt : What can you see in this world but sin or sorrow ? A quick passage through it to glory is a special privilege. Surely the world is not so desirable a place, that Chris- tians should desire an hour's time longer in it for themselves, or theirs, than serves to fit them for a better.
Answer 3. And whereas you imagine the parting would have been easier if the enjoyment had been longer, it is a fond and groundless suspicion : The longer you had enjoyed them, the stronger would the endearments have been. A young and tender plant may be easily